hoovertron
39 Sugar Land, TX
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
hoovertron
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hey. I'm HooveR--easily contented, but lacking a significant other to cuddle and watch movies and listen to music and play videogames and come up with long run-on sentences with.

I want someone to hug and hold at the end of a rough day. Someone who will care about me who I can care for in return. Other than this glaring omission, I'm generally pretty happy with life.

I don't drink, don't smoke, don't use drugs... my vices are Icees and sleeping! ;) Life is short and often disappointing, so I try to find the funny side of everything. You have to laugh at life if you wanna survive it.

I am a homebody, and would rather stay home and cuddle than go out shopping or to museums or whatever people like to go out and do. I am low key and low maintenance. And maybe even asleep!

I love reading, especially comic books. I collect toys, play outdated videogames, and watch cartoons. My room looks like Toys R Us threw up in it... in a nice neat OCD way ;) . Come check it out!

I love animals, and more importantly, animals love me. I've only known of one dog who didn't like me... but I myself don't have any pets anymore. If you have a pet, I bet he or she and I will get along! If they are a doggie they get FREE BELLY RUBS. :p

I live with my father, but we're more like roommates than father and son. And sometimes I feel like I'm the grown up of the house! I see no reason to dump all my vast RETAIL FORTUNE into renting a place when I already feel like I live alone.

What do I like in a girl, you ask? A sense of humor is a must, because I am silly. Love cuddling and being physically affectionate. If you have geeky interests, you earn BONUS POINTS! Play videogames, Bananagrams, or just watch hours of Netflix and YouTube with me!

Also, one of my best friends Monica had this to say about me: "You are one of the best people I've ever known in my life. Whoever disagrees, I will happily kick them in the nuts- or punch in the tits. Happily." I suggest you get to know me and come to this conclusion yourself, because Monica is small but spry.
What I’m doing with my life
I work in a bookstore fulltime. Same place for over 10 years!

I have two great nephews (not biological) who I dote on. I don't want any kids of my own.

Trying to squeeze enjoyment out of life I suppose!
I’m really good at
Loyalty. If we're in a relationship, I'm yours. Even if Kim Kardashian threw herself at me (butt first), I'm committed. Not into poligamy, but origami could be fun!!! ;)

Being organized (you say OCD like it's a BAD thing!).

Knowing inane details about comic book characters. I have already forgotten more than most will ever know.

Being honest. Truth is very important to me.

Buying more books than I will ever ever EVER have time to read. <8-/
The first things people usually notice about me
First thing I guess would be that I am big in every direction: height, weight, etc. I'm usually the go-to guy to get things down off of tall shelves for people at stores, whether I work there or not. I'm 6'2 without shoes, so with 'em I'm more like 6'4.

I'm fat, but I think I carry my size pretty well-- I'm not one of those slobs with the two-sizes-too-small 'WHO FARTED?' t-shirt and shorts on, showing plumber's crack when he bends over. No thank you.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Favorites: House of Leaves (Mark Danielewski), Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury), 1984 (George Orwell), Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger), I Am Legend (Richard Matheson), F--k Yes!: The Guide To The Happy Acceptance Of Everything (F. Wing Fing)...this is the greatest book that no one knows about!, The Bad Place (Dean Koontz), Into The Wild (Jon Krakauer), The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger), The Road (Cormac McCarthy), and many more. I buy way more books than I have spare time for. I also read a ton of comic books and graphic novel collections of the afforementioned comics. I turned my walk-in closet into a library-- I put in shelves up to the (ten-foot) ceiling, and yet all the shelves are STILL overloaded and bubbling over. I wish there were more time in the day I could devote to reading. Sigh...

Movies: Mostly I watch DVDS or Netflix. I go to the movie theatre usually like 2-3 times a year, unless I fall totally in love with something, in which case I see it more times than any human should. These are my absolute favorites: Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, Waiting, V For Vendetta, Frank Miller's SIN CITY, Casablanca, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Shaft, Shaft's Big Score!, Shaft In Africa, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks 2, Career Opportunities, Waking The Dead, Requiem For A Dream, Fight Club, Adventureland, Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead (1978 version), Return of the Living Dead 3, Threesome, High Fidelity, Saving Silverman, Ghost World, The Pursuit Of Happiness (not the Will Smith movie!), The Doom Generation, Rent, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, The Stoned Age, Heathers, D.C. Cab, Clue, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, UHF, Harlem Nights, It's A Wonderful Life, Shaolin Soccer, Kung-Fu Hustle, the 40 Year-Old Virgin, G.I.Joe the Movie (the animated one), the first 20 minutes of Transformers the Movie (not the live action Michael Bay one, bleghh), and last but the antithesis of least, Arcadia of My Youth. 1000 geek points to you if you know what that is without Googling.

TV: Dr Katz: Professional Therapist, Dragnet, Ironside, Saturday Night Live, Arrow, Game of Thrones, American Horror Story, Dexter, Breaking Bad, Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, Firefly, Ghost Hunters, Archer, Bob's Burgers, Children's Hospital, South Park, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Cleveland Show... mostly I watch tv on DVD. I like a lot of old stuff.

Music: Neil Diamond, Poe, Pyogenesis, Danzig, Samhain, Misfits, Graves, Gotham Road, Michale Graves, Type O Negative, KMFDM, MDFMK, Lucia, Drill, Pantera, Down, The Agonist, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, Peeping Tom, anything Mike Patton does, Dead Milkmen, Circle Jerks, Minor Threat, Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Babes In Toyland, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Too Much Joy, Liquido, Duran Duran, Arcadia, John Taylor, Guns N Roses, Anthrax, S.O.D., Kiss, They Might Be Giants, the Smiths, Morrissey, Voltaire, the Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, t.A.T.u., Mandy Moore, Skye Sweetnam, Sumo Cyco, the B-52's, 61 Cygni, Purapharm, the Killaz, N.W.A, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, MC Ren, Above The Law, Geto Boys, Digital Underground, Public Enemy, Eminem, and more...

Comedy: George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan, Todd Barry, Zach Galifianakis, Dave Chappelle, John Mulaney, Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer...

Food: Favorite restaurants include Texas Roadhouse, Kim Son, Torchy's Tacos, Olive Garden, Pappasito's... love a wide range of food really but NOT a fan of seafood or barbecue, which means it's amazing that I'm still allowed to live in Texas.
The six things I could never do without
Love/caring/respect/friends (kinda all the same thing right?), humor, sleep, freedom, organization, and air-conditioning.

That's not really in any particular order. It's funny how many of us Texans put "air-conditioning" down, but it's so true. ESPECIALLY IN SUMMER.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Things to say to make people laugh.

Nerdy comic book and cartoon junk.

How to make people I care about more happy.

Really inane things that have no bearing on reality!
On a typical Friday night I am
After work I might get food and do laundry because I am way, way, WAY beyond thrilling. But I'd be willing to bet that Icees or Slurpees are somehow involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not very private at all, so ask anything you want. The answers are 11.5 inches, my record is four times in one night, and totally nude... Oh, I'm assuming the questions were "How tall is your Transformers Animated Megatron figure?", "How many times have you listened to Guns N Roses' 'Chinese Democracy' in one sitting?", and "How do you shower?" respectively.
You should message me if
...you like playing videogames at 3am...

...you want someone to hug you and cuddle with...

...you've played Bananagrams and love it...

...you are geeky in ways similar to me...

...you breathe oxygen... c'mon, you don't need an excuse.
More