Hey. I'm HooveR. I have the hobbies of an 8 year old, but the work ethic of a 50 year old. I'm easily contented, however, the one thing I lack is a significant other to cuddle and watch movies and listen to music and play videogames and come up with long run-on sentences with. Otherwise, I'm pretty happy with life.

I don't drink, don't smoke, don't use drugs... my vice is Icees! ;) Life is short, so I try to find the funny side of everything. It's my philosophy that life isn't worth living if you can't have fun, so I enjoy making people laugh, which I am quite good at. I can be a sarcastic bastard at times, but it's all in fun.

I love reading, especially comic books. I collect toys, play outdated videogames, and watch cartoons. My room looks like Toys R Us threw up in it... in a nice neat OCD way ;) . I feel I take the best qualities of both adulthood and kid-dom and mash 'em up. I have a very logical and mature mind but sometimes I use it to wonder how Megatron would do in a fight with the Battlestar Galactica.

I love animals, and more importantly, animals love me. I've only known of one dog who didn't like me... but I myself don't have any pets anymore. If you have a pet, I bet he or she and I will get along! If they are a doggie they get FREE BELLY RUBS. :p

I live with my father, but we're more like roommates than father and son. And sometimes I feel like I'm the grown up of the house! We're on completely opposite schedules, so I see no reason to dump all my vast RETAIL FORTUNE into an apartment when I already feel like I live alone... which reminds me that I should point out that I'm a night owl. I tend to go to bed around 5 AM and sleep 8 hours 'til afternoon. I desperately need more people to hang out with at ridiculous hours of the night. Who's up for 3am videogames, Scrabble, or Bananagrams??

I am loyal to my significant other and don't do dumb guy sh-t that makes no sense. I will never cheat on you in a million years. Looking for a great one-on-one monogamous relationship!

What do I like in a girl, you ask? A sense of humor is a must, because I am silly. If you have geeky interests, you earn BONUS POINTS!

I am mirthful, committed, and Foreverinbluejeans

Hoping to make life even funnerer by finding a long-term life partner... someone has to help me take over the world. "Don't know that I will, but until I can find me a girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me, I'll be what I am: a solitary man." If you recognize that line, you should definitely write.

Other than that, I'm simply waging a war against messy customers, I suppose (I work in a bookstore)... it's a noble effort, but one with no end.

Loyalty. If we're in a relationship, I'm yours. Even if Kim Kardashian threw herself at me, I'm committed. Not into poligamy, but origami could be fun!!! ;)

Being organized (you say OCD like it's a BAD thing!).

Knowing inane details about comic book characters. I have already forgotten more than most will ever know.

Being honest. Truth is very important to me.

First thing I guess would be that I am big in every direction: height, weight, etc. I'm usually the go-to guy to get things down off of tall shelves for people at stores, whether I actually work there or not. I'm 6'2 without shoes, so with 'em I'm more like 6'4.

I'm fat, but I think I carry my size pretty well-- I'm not one of those slobs with the two-sizes-too-small 'WHO FARTED?' t-shirt and shorts on, showing plumber's crack when he bends over. No thank you.

Books: Favorites: House of Leaves (Mark Danielewski), Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury), 1984 (George Orwell), Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger), I Am Legend (Richard Matheson), F--k Yes!: The Guide To The Happy Acceptance Of Everything (F. Wing Fing)...this is the greatest book that no one knows about!, The Bad Place (Dean Koontz), Into The Wild (Jon Krakauer), The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger), The Road (Cormac McCarthy), and many more. I buy way more books than I have spare time for. But hey, I'm proud of my book obsession. I turned my walk-in closet into a library, essentially. I had so many books, they had to go somewhere, so I put in shelves up to the (ten-foot) ceiling!

I also read a ton of comic books and graphic novel collections of the afforementioned comics. I wish there were more time in the day I could devote to reading. I own probably about 20 times as many books as I've actually read... I need the power to stop time around me so that I can read more... ah, the lament of the booklover.

Movies: Mostly I watch movies on DVD. I go to the movie theatre usually like 2-3 times a year, unless I fall totally in love with something, in which case I see it more times than any human should. These are my absolute favorites: Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, Waiting, V For Vendetta, Frank Miller's SIN CITY, Casablanca, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Shaft, Shaft's Big Score!, Shaft In Africa, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks 2, Career Opportunities, Waking The Dead, Requiem For A Dream, Fight Club, Adventureland, Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead (1978 version), Return of the Living Dead 3, Threesome, High Fidelity, Saving Silverman, Ghost World, The Pursuit Of Happiness (not the Will Smith movie!), The Doom Generation, Rent, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, The Stoned Age, Heathers, D.C. Cab, Clue, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, UHF, Harlem Nights, It's A Wonderful Life, Shaolin Soccer, Kung-Fu Hustle, Ringu, The Ring (only the first one), the 40 Year-Old Virgin, G.I.Joe the Movie (the animated one), the first 20 minutes of Transformers the Movie (not the live action Michael Bay one, bleghh), and last but the antithesis of least, Arcadia of My Youth. 1000 geek points to you if you know what that is without Googling.

TV (stuff that's still on): Dexter, Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, South Park, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Cleveland Show... mostly I watch tv on DVD.

Music: Neil Diamond, Poe, Pyogenesis, Danzig, Samhain, Misfits, Graves, Gotham Road, Michale Graves, Type O Negative, KMFDM, MDFMK, Lucia, Drill, Pig, Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, Down, The Agonist, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, Peeping Tom, anything Mike Patton does, Dead Milkmen, Circle Jerks, Minor Threat, Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Babes In Toyland, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Too Much Joy, Liquido, Duran Duran, Arcadia, John Taylor, Guns N Roses, Anthrax, S.O.D., Kiss, They Might Be Giants, the Smiths, Morrissey, Voltaire, the Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, t.A.T.u., Mandy Moore, Skye Sweetnam, Sumo Cyco, the B-52's, 61 Cygni, Purapharm, the Killaz, N.W.A, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, MC Ren, Above The Law, Geto Boys, Digital Underground, Public Enemy, Eminem, the Streets, The Beatles, and more...

Food: Favorite restaurants include Texas Roadhouse, Kim Son, Olive Garden, Mission Burrito, Pappasito's... love a wide range of food really but NOT a fan of seafood or barbecue, which means it's amazing that I'm still allowed to live in Texas. Unlike most people my size, I'm not too big a fan of fast food. Like it less and less all the time.

Love, escapism, air-conditioning, humor, friends, respect...

That's not really in any particular order. It's funny how many of us Texans put "air-conditioning" down. Don't we know it....

New comments I can make to induce laughter... premeditated comedy.

Nerdy comic book and cartoon junk ("Why's Fuchsia Defender acting like he never met Beatemup?? They met in issue 37 of the Bawdy and the Bombastic from April 1978 in the classic tale, 'My Milkman....My Enemy!' ").

Really inane things that have no bearing on reality!

Working. Friday is my Monday. After work I might get food and do laundry because I am way, way, WAY beyond thrilling.

I'm not very private at all, so ask anything you want.

In general, everytime one of my relationships end, I feel like it does me a tremendous amount of damage. This makes me not want to try again, but the desire and urge to have a co-conspirator in life is too much a draw to avoid. So, I'm torn. I am a cynic with high hopes, which sounds like an oxymoron. I guess I am a cynic who really wants to be proven wrong with a big revelation that the world is actually great and nowhere near as bad as it seems... still waiting on that big reveal though...

...you like playing videogames at 3am...

...you've played Bananagrams and love it...

...you are geeky in ways similar to me...

...you breathe oxygen...

If you would like more information (like this wasn't epic-length ENOUGH?), see my Facebook profile at:
http://facebook.com/hoovertron