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45 M Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 19
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
** Hey I'm dating someone now so I won't be here much! I met some great people through this site. Good luck in your search!**

Creative, talkative, adventurous. Serious about Funny. Big on ideas. Curious. Skeptical about Power but nevertheless optimistic about the Future and human beings generally.

I'm open to the whole spectrum of human connectivity. Friends are nice. Lovers are interesting. Partners are the real deal.
What I’m doing with my life
First things first: I try to stay alive. I had an accident in October 2012, and I must say nothing sharpens the mind like a brush with death. One thing I have learned is the importance of living in the present. Easy to say, tough to achieve.

Assuming I'm still breathing, I'm doing my work: I create illustrations and graphic art for books, posters, magazines, websites. Can you believe I get paid for this stuff? I'm so lucky I can hardly believe it.

I also teach at a local art college. I love being a teacher and mentor to young artists. Of course, they're kind of a pain in the ass, but I find the work challenging and I'm often inspired by my students and the amazing things they do.

I like to build community. After living in the Bay Area for years and years, I find myself belonging to several overlapping circles of artists & visionaries, revolutionaries & reformists, circus performers & educators — all strange, all beautiful, all wild in their way. It's fun to try to stitch these many circles together into something wider. A Social Movement? Maybe, if we're lucky.

Somewhere along the line I realized I had to ditch my old ways, drop the mildly hedonistic, unhealthy lifestyle of my youth and focus on getting real. I made some changes, all for the better, including exercise (running, biking, visits to the gym), meditation & yoga (though I'm still a skeptic and an atheist), loads of therapy and developing my introspection, honesty and compassion. Voila! Greater energy, happiness and joy in my life. Who knew?

I'm lucky in that I have family in the area, including two parents, two sisters, two nieces, and one nephew. A wealth of genetic similarities! I try to see them on the weekends.
I’m really good at
Making friends with strangers. Seeing through bullshit. Speculating about the future. Zeroing in on funny. Making wild accusations. Writing my own profile (obviously).
The first things people usually notice about me
Dimples. Also: satanic laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Ursula K. LeGuin; Don Delillo; Rayond Chandler; Michael Chabon; Alice Munro; To Kill a Mockingbird; Comments on the Society of the Spectacle; Kim Stanley Robinson; Cory Doctorow;

Graphic novels: Chris Ware; Dan Clowes; Adrian Tomine;

Music: Yo La Tengo; Luna; Galaxie 500; PJ Fuckin' Harvey; X; Johnny Cash; Calexico; Manu Chao; The Pixies; Metric; Andrew Bird; Ferocious Few; Sean Hayes; the Mekons; Iron & Wine; Al Green; Cat Power; Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings; Tom Waits; Yo La Tengo (listed twice for good measure).

Movies: Beasts of the Southern Wild; Blue Valentine; Moonrise Kingdom; The Royal Tennenbaums; Anything by Steven Soderbergh; Drive; Margaret (the 3 hour version); You Can Count On Me; anything starring Bill Nighy (he's the awkward British dude in Love Actually and my favorite actor).

TV: The Office (I heart both versions equally); Louie; Breaking Bad (yes it is as good as they say); Modern Family (though I think it may have started to suck); the Daily Show; Colbert Report; Rachel Maddow.

Food: I'm a sushi-holic! I spend WAY too much money each month on sushi. But what is money for if not raw fish?

My ambition: to see more plays and live performances!
The six things I could never do without
For some reason I find this question boring, so I refuse to answer it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to craft the perfect contact note to people on OK Cupid. If you received a message from me, I thought about it a while. Mulled it over. Re-wrote it several times. Finally hit send. Will she respond? Most people don't. I guess that's OK, but… What about the adventure?

Also: Science. I read the science page at, and I find this often causes my head to explode. I think more artists and creative people should pay attention to the incredible things going on the worlds of science and technology.

I like politics too. Not so much the horse race between the parties, but the long, slow process of people working together to transform the world. I think of politics as a massive, multi-generational, interactive art project that we're all contributing to. When I say this, people usually ask: "Yes, but isn't it *bad* art?" I suppose it might be, but we've only just begun. Give it time!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the insights trickling into the popular press from the world of neuroscience. I wonder how much our morality and our politics are rooted in our brains, and whether that means we can or cannot change the direction of society.

When I'm meditating, I'm thinking about not thinking, which is totally ass backwards. I know, I know -- I'm doing it wrong! If you can tell me how to silence this jabbering monkey inside my skull, I will be eternally grateful.

I think a lot about the kids in my life. What will they be when they grow up? Why are they so awesome and inspiring? How can I be a better uncle and friend?
On a typical Friday night I am
Having dinner with friends, getting an early drink to avoid crowds in the Mission, biking with the SF Bike Party or Critical Mass, alone with a book and a cup of tea while it rains outside (wishing I had a cat).
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
• you like the short, sweet, absolutely perfect message I sent you.
• you feel as if you know me even though you don't.
• you don't mind atheists.
• you like drinking beverages with strangers you meet online, and you trust it won't be a disaster because you read the guy's profile, and he seemed like a decent human being, maybe even someone with some depth and kindness, who knows, maybe something will happen, like a spark or a flame or maybe just a friendship, it's impossible to predict and the universe is a very large place and we are very, very small.