WARNING: This profile is a long barrage of often disjointed information.

Statement of intent: Relationship-wise, I'm on a continued passive search for a "perfect"(for me) mate(female). If I find her, cool. If I don't, meh.

And let me clarify that I despise "dating", and all that it represents, in regards to how it differs from two people just hanging out together. I would prefer that the profile offer "long-term relationship" as an option.

Astrology is fun, but I don't put any real, hardcore stock in it.

But as a point of reference, I'm diggin' the Sagittarius (western) Boar (eastern) profile combo.

For the record, I'm an Aries Hare (or Cat, if you prefer).

I originally joined for the tests, primarily. I have joined other "dating" sites out of curiosity, but they quickly bored me. The "dating" aspect of this site is not much of an issue for me. Even though I don't do it all that often, the "journal" has kept me here.

My attendance is greatly increased when I'm looking for intellectual stimulation.

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I'm a t-shirt and jeans guy, though I'm transitioning to black cargo pants/shorts, because the extra pockets REALLY come in handy as a locksmith. I'm practical. Not really into impractical symbolism, such as ceremonies and holidays.

I'm quite content to stay at home, unless there's some special event. Let's just say that I'm amply entertained when at home.

I'm a thinker, philosopher, creator, observer, knowledge-seeker.

I am most definitely an INTJ. INTJ profile

If you're looking for my core values, then this list might be a good place to start. My Rules In Life... so far As the title suggests, it is subject to change over time.

I don't care about sports. I respect all skills and abilities, and I might be willing to casually participate in a sport, but otherwise, I don't give a crap.

If I were to lose all of my material possessions, and I had to start over again, this is my list of things (non-consumables) to get (in no particular order):

Good mattress, good pillow, good computer system with internet connection, tv with satellite and DVR, a bowl, a spoon, a toothbrush, hair clippers, nail clippers, a hat, clothes and a house (with a shower... and central air and heating) to put it all in. And a refrigerator.

That's my comfortable life survival kit.

I wish I had the time and money to build all the things that think up. I would love to build my own house. I did build my own bed, and I still have to finish renovating the bathroom.

I'm slowly becoming progressively minimalist, but it is at odds with the fact that I am practical and creative, meaning I don't like to throw away something that I might put to good use, but my mess is at least smaller than it has been.

Politically, I'm a Conservative Libertarian. Freedom tempered with wisdom. I'm not active in politics but I do stay aware.

I try to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Unfortunately, some people don't always like being treated the way I want them to treat me.

For instance, if you think you're helping me when I don't ask for it, then you're mostly likely just getting in my way.

And if some old person falls, and there's already three other people closer already getting in each other's way to help him/her, then what possible good reason is there for me to jump up from my seat to add to the cluster?

So, no, I'm not being uncaring or inconsiderate. I'm staying the fuck out of the way.

I'm allergic to cats. Apart from the itchy, watery, puffy eyes they give me, and the sneezing, I like cats well enough, but I'm a dog person. More specifically, I'm a Rottweiller person. I am absolutely not interested in small dogs. But to be honest, I'm not really into having pets to begin with.

I'm such a selective composition of various types of people. It can become frustrating when viewing multiple matches here. Most of the people who really catch my attention are either seriously Christian or don't like horror movies, or zombie movies specifically. grr

Oh, well. The search continues.

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Profile qualities that disappoint me and make me weep for humanity (in no particular order):

1. Your name contains any references to royalty (i.e queen, princess, etc...). Same for angel/devil references and if you think you're a diva. And you're really pushing it if your name includes "4u".
2. You have no pictures. You have only one picture, though I forgive you if you're relatively new.
3. You are flashing 1 or more gang signs, even if sarcastically. Not a fan of the "peace" sign, either.
4. Your picture is of you 50 feet away.
5. Your summary includes that you like/love to have fun/a good time.
6. Your summary includes that you like/love to laugh.
7. Your summary includes that you're open-minded and/or tolerant. I automatically don't trust you.
8. You say "OMG".
9. You say that you enjoy/live life to its fullest. We have very different definitions of "fullest". I highly doubt that anyone on this site is actually enjoying/living life to its fullest.

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Here are some helpful You-to-Me translations:

1. You say are "divorced", "separated", "just ended a bad relationship", etc..., I hear, "I have bad judgement."
2. You say "high-maintenance", I hear "shallow and materialistic".
3. You say "high-energy", I hear "I'll never shut up or be still for two seconds".
4. You say "I'm tolerant", I hear "I'm a Liberal, and I'm "tolerant" of everyone who agrees with me, plus, I don't fully understand what 'tolerance' actually is".

I definitely have a lot of opinions (political and otherwise), and I'm open to discussion on any topic. No question is too personal, but there are some I might not answer for practical reasons, so, if there is literally anything at all you might be wondering about me, then feel free to ask me out of the blue and without pretense.

For a much closer look into me, feel free to go to my MySpace page, that I never visit anymore, to view my profile and read some of my blog entries.

Or you can just visit my own personal webpage that I designed myself and that is all nifty and junk. Humanimaland is jam-packed with stuff of mine that you probably won't give a crap about.

Song in my head, Saturday, January 19, 2013. 11:01 PM CST:

"Gimme That Punk" by Audio Bullys.

Humanimal also recomends "Opiliones: The Men of the Arthropods!" by StrummingSally. (volume is kinda low)

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I saw this on Tosh.0, and I laughed for at least 30 seconds straight. Love it.

Carpet Cleaning

My father is a locksmith, and I was pretty much absorbed into it, so I guess that means I'm one as well.

Actually, I legally am one.

It's a family business, and I will most likely take it over when he is no longer able to do it.

I don't think of it as "my" job, since I never asked for it, and have been basically just expected to do it, but it is a good job, and it's a good business that will eventually be handed to me, so I keep my complaints to a minimum.

My grief is primarily due to lack of control and lack of compensation. But, oh well.

Learning by example. Spending long periods of time alone. Getting along with children, when I actually choose to do it. Diplomacy. Introspection. Untying knots. Finding flaws in things. Compartmentalizing.

Picking up where I left off. Ten days, ten years: it's all the same.

I'm also apparently very good at being misunderstood, because most people with whom I converse in writing tend to read INTO what I say as opposed to simply READING what I say.

I also seem to be pretty darn good at unintentionally sneaking up on people.

Probably my clothes. I really wouldn't know for sure. I've never asked them, and was never told by them.

Actually, lately I keep getting told that I'm the spitting (shouldn't that be splitting?) image of my father.

That I don't talk much. I'm not into small talk.

Have you heard that quote: "Hell is other people"? That goes through my mind at least once a week.

I'm a nice enough guy, but in a perfect world, I'm pretty much left to my own devices... unless I have a mate. Then I want to be left to her devices. But if it's a perfect world, then I do have a mate. This is becoming convoluted.

  Books:

I haven't had time to read in a long time. Since high school, I read mostly horror by various authors, many of whom were not well-known. It eventually narrowed down to Koontz, Piers Anthony, Poppy Z. Brite, and Eric Van Lustbader.

By the end it was just Lustbader. I still have a few unread books of his.

I love his Nicholas Linnear series.

The Ninja, The Miko, Shiro Ninja, The Kaisho, Floating City, Second Skin.

His influence helped lead me to A Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and by far most importantly, Hagakure: The Book of The Samurai by Yamamoto Tsunetomo.

Lately, I've found that reading fiction makes me sleepy, unless it happens to be teaching me something interesting.

  Movies:

The Top 10 favorites.

Chungking Express

Fight Club

Hero

Serenity

The Crow

The Fifth Element

Kick-Ass

The Transporter

The Terminator saga

Transformers saga

I have not decided whether or not I want to add Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World to the list. It was pretty awesome, but I would have to bump something off. Only time will tell.

  Television:

As of November 17, 2012, in no particular order. (*not sure if these are cancelled)

FNC: Red Eye (Princess Jack (aka Rachel Jean) on Red Eye Oct. 30, 2010)

FOXB: Stossel

BLAZE: Glenn Beck Program

NBC: America's Got Talent

ABC: Once Upon A Time

ABCFM: Pretty Little Liars*

CBS: The Mentalist . Big Bang Theory

NICK: iCarly

NICKT: Dragonball GT

TOON: Level Up

TOONW: MAD

CW: Supernatural . The Vampire Diaries . Nikita

FOX: Bones . Fringe . The Simpsons . Family Guy . American Dad . The Cleveland Show

BBC America: Doctor Who . The Nerdist

DISC: Mythbusters

SYFY: Warehouse 13 . Haven* . Alphas . Lost Girl . Face Off . Total Blackout

USA: Burn Notice

TNT: Leverage

FX: Archer* . Wilfred* . American Horror Story: Asylum

CMDY: Tosh.0

HUB: Transformers Prime

  Music:

Top 13, instead. In mostly alphabetical order. There are links to videos of most of the songs listed.

The titles listed are not necessarily the only titles that I like of the given artist.

Alizee - Jen ai marre . I'm Fed Up . Moi. Lolita

Ayumi Hamasaki - STEP you . "M" (Above & Beyond Cyber Trance Remix) . Real Me

Bauhaus - Dark Entries . Bela Lugosi's Dead (original) . In The Flat Field . Silent Hedges

Faye Wong - Eyes On Me (Almighty Mix) . Di Dar . Lotus In The Snow

L'Arc~en~Ciel - Stay Away (live) . Ready Steady Go (live) . Blurry Eyes (live) . Honey (live)

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream . The Get Go . Tight Fit . Get Lucky

Portishead - Sour Times . Glory Box . All Mine

Puffy AmiYumi - So Long Zero . Your Love Is A Drug . Planet Tokyo . True Asia

Rammstein - Engel (or english version) . Du Hast (or english version) . Moskau

Snake River Conspiracy - You and Your Friend . Vulcan . And something I uploaded, myself, because I could not find it anywhere: Vulcan (Johnny Vicious Remix). It is awesome.

The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go . That's Not My Name

Vanessa-Mae Nicholson - Storm (Classical Brit Awards 2000) . Storm (official)

techno-opera / techno-classical - Scooter - Habanera (Big Room Mix) . Trance Opera - Habanera . Phantom Of The Opera (techno)

The Guild - Do You Want To Date My Avatar . Game On . I'm The One That's Cool.

The KLF - Stadium House: The Trilogy (3am Eternal, Last Train To Trancentral, What Time Is Love)

other cool songs:
Boom Boom Ba - Metisse (Dead Like Me)
Muse - Uprising
Hooverphonic - 2Wicky
Kelli Ali - Lipgloss
Freestylers - Here We Go
Break Down! - Be For U (full version)
Amanda Ghost - Filthy Mind
Dark Globe feat. Amanda Ghost - Break My World
Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone
Lykke Li - Get Some
Audio Bullys - Gimme That Punk
Audio Bullys - Only Man

  Foods:

I'm quite fond of chinese food. I greatly enjoy a good chinese buffet.

I'm reasonably health-conscious in my diet. I eat plenty of vegetables (usually), but I'm definitely NOT a vegetarian.

This skit from That Mitchell and Webb Look fairly summarized my point of view.

Humans are naturally omnivorous. If you think we aren't then you're fooling yourself.

I rarely eat fast food, but if I do, it will probably be a 7-Layer Burrito from Taco Bell.

It's my opinion that, with the exception of tomatoes, fruit and meat should never come into contact with each other, and that all pizzas should be Supremes.

I used to drink Pepsi, but then I gave up caffeinated sodas. I drank Root Beer, but then I gave up soda.

Water, Milk, tea.

I don't typically eat red meat, but I mainly eat protein and green vegitables.

Being the practical sort, I'm inclined to start with Food, Water, and Air, but in the spirit of the question, I'll loosen up a little.

A daily morning shower, Milk with my breakfast, My computer, Time alone, A comfortable bed, More than two different things to drink.

Life, people, human nature, animal nature, politics, martial philosophy, religion, my own behavior, what kind of person I want to become and want to avoid becoming, logic, people's motivations, whatever personal project that I might be working on.

  The Human Animal:
Whatever you might think about humanity or "the battle of the sexes", or whatever, just remember that humans are animals.

Human males are generally better suited (physically and psychologically) to be providers and protectors, and human females are generally better suited to be caretakers and nurturers. Deal with it.

Neither one is any better than the other, in general. Each compensates for what the other lacks in order to function as a whole. It's the big picture.

This does not mean that I expect people to follow "gender roles". It means only that those are the default settings, so to speak.

  Religion:
I find it continuously amusing how logic destroys the "there is no god" atheist argument.

I think militant theism and "no god" atheism are both ridiculously irrational. "No god" atheism requires just as much faith as theism. You can't prove either one, so whichever one you believe, the only way you're not delusional is if you acknowledge that you don't actually know.

Faith is believing without knowing. If you think you know, then you're delusional, not faithful.

This is what I hear when "no god" atheists ridicule the idea of God/a god: "A purple animal with wings and breathes fire? That's so stupid. Bananas simply do not exist."

Before you can know if something does not exist, you must first know ALL of what DOES exist. Are you omniscient?

But whether you are believing, or not believing, just keep in mind that it's just your interpretation that you're judging, and your interpretation might be wrong.

Also, since "no god" atheism is a religion, if you are a militant atheist, then you are a religious zealot.

I don't see how anyone who thinks themselves logical can say, no proof = no god. Did germs not exist before they were discovered?

I do not consider myself to be of any particular religion, but I am most similar to Christian. I am not really a touter of the Bible, but I do think it is a very important and valuable book with a lot of good to offer, as long as you understand metaphor.

That said, I draw wisdom from any religion or philosophy where I might find it.

  Politics:
It's interesting that Liberals call Conservatives heartless while Conservatives call Liberals stupid.

It seems to me that even if you are heartless, you can still be a rational judge of someone's intelligence, but if you're stupid.... Sorry, Liberals. Your accusation is meaningless. Too bad you can't understand how.

A Moderate is just a Liberal who wants to become a government pet later rather than sooner. Moderates and Liberals get along, because they are both willing to negotiate the terms of everyone's enslavement.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Give a man a fish every day for a lifetime and you have either a pet or a slave, depending on whether you are a Liberal or a Progressive.

BTW, Liberals are the useful idiots of Progressives.

  Smoking / Drinking / Drugs:
On the matter of smoking, drinking, and drugs, I'm looking for someone who has enough self-respect and/or common sense to not willingly consume a toxin that distinctly and obviously impares her health and mental and physical abilities.

  Relationships:
I believe that you should love all people and that it's compatability that makes a good relationship. If you feel the need to hear the words, "I love you", from someone, then you're definitely not right for me.

Telling me that you love me is akin to telling me that you didn't want to shoot me in the face today. I'm glad, and good for you. I don't want to shoot you in the face, either.

Actions speak louder than words ever could. If you actually do feel a need to hear "I love you" from someone, then you might want to reconsider being with that person.

If we are supposed to love everyone, anyway, then you might be better served and enlightened by the person answering your question of "what makes me so speacial"?

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I pay a lot of attention to what I do and don't want in a mate, and I pay close attention to females that I encounter (not creepy, staring "close"). And since there are reasons why people do what they do (in general and to themselves) then, yes, to an extent, you can judge a book by its cover.

Barring what you might be required to do by your job or temporarily for special occasions, I apply this logic to people. True beauty needs no decoration, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, if you are decorating yourself somehow (make-up, jewelry, tattoos, dyed hair), then what does that say about your opinion of yourself?

I'm not interested in someone who does not think that she looks good enough as she naturally is.

If you're wearing make-up, then I can't tell if you're beautiful, because your make-up is blocking my view of you, so don't bother asking. (I don't mean that as within the context of this site.) Though, you might be artistically beautiful, but so what? I don't care, unless you're wearing a costume of some sort.

My name for nose rings, studs, bars, and whatever else you decide to put into your face, is metalic facial debris. If it's one of those little spheres on your nose, then it's a stray metal booger.

Also, there's a big difference between being a bitch and being strong. Bitches are not strong women, and strong women are not bitches.

In theory, I am sexually deviant. I'm a pervert with a lot of self-control.

There's a big difference between what I'll happily imagine doing and what I would actually do. Some things would require more effort than they're worth, some are illegal, and some are kinda gross. I don't really do any imagining of the kinda gross ones.

Anyway, whatever I might be willing to do in real life, it will be with only 1 person, for life.

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From the book, "Drawing Blood", by Poppy Z. Brite:

"If you loved someone, he thought, you should know their body inside and out. You should be willing to taste it, breathe it, wallow in it." -Trevor

This is not my view of "love", but I do apply this sentiment to the kind of relationship I want to have. But I apply it to the mind as well.

  The Man I Want To Be:
I want to be wise and brilliant, and to be respected for it.

What I mean is, that when I get to be an old man, I want to be justifiably revered, by at least many in my community, for the genuine wisdom that I have to offer them. (Please do not read that as me saying that I have so much wisdom now).

At the same time, I want to be enjoyed as a man of good humor.

I also want to be physically capable until the day I die. This leads me to what I don't want to be.

I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I certainly have no interest in elderly suicide, either, which is why I want to maintain my physical capability.

Should I one day become a parent, I do not want to be one that forces my own responsibilities onto my kids, and then calls it teaching them responsibility.

  Personal Quotes:
"My feminine side keeps fondling my inner-child, and he likes it."

"You can move either with the universe or against it, but if you choose to move against it, then don't complain about the friction."

"I ate the VEGAN's high-horse."

"Anyone can make you a subject, but only you can make you a victim."

"Victim is a state of mind, not a state of being."

"If you're not thinking like a predator, then you're thinking like prey."

"There's no good reason to feel insulted by anything. The truth is to be accepted, opinions are to be gathered, and lies are to be ignored."

"The only reason you'd want to change something is if you don't like the way it is."

"Never underestimate the value of shutting the hell up."

"I'm gonna come back there and separate you two, and I don't mean from each other."

"Move it one inch closer, and I'll make it one inch shorter."

"Don't think I won't eat you."
(this would be said to non-humans)

"The Truth does not care what you think about itself."

"If life was easy, I'd be finished with it by now."
(may not actually be originally from me)

"Life is fair. People just take it the wrong way."

"Time spent thinking about one thing is time spent not thinking about another."

"The best husband is not a warrior, and the best warrior is not a husband. The best mother is not a businesswoman, and the best businesswoman is not a mother."

"If you're trying to be a businesswoman and a mother, then you're doing two jobs half-assedly."

"Always welcome, with open arms, the opportunity to be proven wrong."

"If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em."

"A wise person learns from their mistakes. A wiser person knows enough not to make them to begin with."

"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not that casually interested."

"If the shoe doesn't fit, then quit trying to wear it."

"I believe in turning the other cheek... but I do have only the one other cheek."

Typically, on Friday night, I am at home on the computer for an extended period of time trying to do stuff I did not have the time and/or opportunity to do the previous weekdays. I usually stay up until anywhere from 2-4am, but sometimes as late as 8am.

Random Pointless Addition: "As they returned to the Gingerbread house, to bring home another load of sweets, Hansel and Gretel were dismayed to find that the birds had eaten their trail of witch chunks."

I'm a virgin, partly because I don't want someone else's used goods, so I don't want to be someone else's used goods, should I ever have a mate.

(Pardon my "used goods" metaphor.)

Yes, that means I don't want anyone who has already had sex with anyone but herself.

I'm a mate-for-life guy. I'm not the least bit interested in having a string of failed relationships behind me or nailing as many chicks as I can.

Also, I'm very serious about parenthood, though I have no real desire to be a parent. Another reason I don't risk having children.

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Below, change "dating" to "relationship". I despise dating.

You find me incredibly interesting... or anything else. I'm not sure what I incredibly am, so I need a little heads-up on that.

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You want to have a serious discussion about anything of which I have a functioning knowledge.

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You want to know anything about me. Nothing is too personal, too weird, or too trivial to ask. Being an Aries, I like to talk about myself. (This should not be taken as a reflection of my behavior in person.)

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You want to send me some money.

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You are or know a female whose first name is Mister.

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You can think of any good insults to direct at me.

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You know any good romantic psychopath lines like, "I used to want to kill everyone, but now I want only to kill everyone but you."

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You want to suggest any music groups or songs that you think are just awesome, unless they're Country or R&B.

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You can quote Freakazoid!.

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You just want to say 'hey'.

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You know anything about that brunette girl wearing the white "DIESEL" t-shirt in College Invasion 4. She had to leave the party early.

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You would like to answer the following question: What is the minimum hypothetical result for which you would give up non-reproductive sex for the rest of your life? Feel free to be outlandish.

(for example: eliminate a lethal disease, save a baby's life, avoid living 50 years in daily agony, keep a stranger from becoming quadriplegic, to never lose your keys?)

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Anyway. I'm looking for an equal, so if that's you... then I don't really need to tell you that you should message me, because you will anyway.

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I recently updated a fanfic for the cancelled TV series, Birds of Prey. It's five chapters, so far, but still incomplete. If you are interested in checking it out, here's the link, and I welcome ALL manner of feedback.

I especially want females to let me know if I got anything wrong.

Fair warning: it is an erotic fanfic.

Cabin Fever

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If you would like to check out some of my non-erotic, non-fanfic stories, then this link goes to a bunch of short stories that I've written over the years, but nothing recent.

Realm of Tales

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If you heavily exaggerated my feelings about other males in general, it would be something akin to, "I want to defeat you in battle and take your land and women."

That said, there are times when I just want to talk hot chicks with someone. Auditions for a non-man-hating lesbian net-friend are now open.

Note: You do not have to be hot, yourself.