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hweldon

34 M Ridgewood, NY

My Details

Last Online
Jul 25
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
UPDATE: Back on OKCupid for zero logical reasons. Seriously have no clue why.

I'm a walking contradiction. I was a jock, a nerd, and an artist in high school, and it pretty much sums me up now. You can catch me one day in a three piece suit and another in a jump suit covered with paint... and often a mix of the two. I randomly spit out the lyrics to GZA's "Liquid Swords," and the Duck Tales theme song, and Danzig's "Mother," and even "Maria" from West Side Story... which is mostly Maria a shit-load of times.

Oh, I also curse a lot and get along with everyone. I'm not kidding. I fucking dare you to not like me! I double-dog dare you. But there is fine line between being fun or generous, and telling everyone how goddamn great everything is. No one likes a kiss ass. It's dishonest and I hate dishonesty - where ever it comes from.

Most of my best friendships are based on playfully insulting each other, like bad TV without the laugh track - one-liners about everything around us. But being a smart-ass is not the same as being an asshole or a bully. I'm pretty easy going and give the respect I'm given, but one of the few things I have a problem with is holier than thou snots and insecure dicks spitefully acting out at the expense of others due to their insecurity. It gets under my skin. I blame the state of me in middle school, (2 words: Cosby sweater - *shivers*)

But my passion lies in art and movies (good movies and the hilariously bad ones). I like dancing, great stories, drinks with good friends, food full of flavor, side-spitting conversations about nothing and everything, and living life to its fullest.

Not looking for drama or anything too serious - but who can tell what time will bring or what the heart will want? Also my cat is a bit of an diva... Oh, who am I kidding, she is an asshole but I love her any way :-).

Also My OKCname sucks because I don't want to spend the money to change it. Hell, I still don't know why I'm on this site.
What I’m doing with my life
I am an artist who works for a corporate law firm. Odd, I know, but bills must be paid and canvases bought, and I make sure that I have the time and energy to paint and party and write a novel that is kicking my ass.
I’m really good at
Random TV and Movie knowledge, as well as old school theme songs. Cursing... I'm actually holding back.

Understanding human nature and predicting the actions of people once I know them (even just slightly). Well, predicting most things actually, especially relating to politics (and yet I'm too cheap to gamble).

I'm good at making all the awful things I tend say seem nice or hilarious - simply because I'm always smiling. Easy trick to learn if you're interested. I'm also pretty good at not burning bridges, cooking things involving meat - melt off the bone meat - and real chili that has never seen a tomato (Eventually I'll have to learn how to make a decent side or two).

I seem to be great at getting friends out of trouble - usually by explaining to the cops, or the bartender, or the judge, or the gang of Bikers why my genius level friends are morons. Stupid-assed smart motherfuckers.
The first things people usually notice about me
My award winning smile and hearty laugh. My voice also carries like the dickens. You can hear me in the back of a crowded bar while you are smoking a cigarette outside. It is probably why I don't say things that I wouldn't say to someones face behind their back. I'm literally fucking incapable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not the kind of guy to stick to genres when it comes to a lot of things (I partially blame ADD) Also if you are hoping my list is full of obscure, highbrow, underground shit that no one knows about you will be disappointed. I've seen, read and heard a lot of things, but my favorites tend to be pretty mainstream (I blame being raised in Baltimore).

TV: The Wire, Archer, Breaking Bad, The Simpsons, The Walking Dead, Oz, Cheers, Adventure Time, Legit, Portlandia, The Americans, True Blood, Dexter, and most of Lost before they made me want to shoot myself for wasting so many hours of my life (... stupid, stupid, ending).

Books and Graphic Novels: The Road, From Hell, World War Z, L.O.T.R., Lolita, Snow Crash, A Clockwork Orange, Things Fall Apart, Fight Club, The Passage, House of Leaves, No Country for Old Men, The Sandman Series, Metamorphosis, American Gods and, I'm embarrassed to say, I did enjoy reading the Hunger Games ... yeah, well, go fuck yourself.

Movies: Unforgiven, Big Trouble in little China, Akira, Blade Runner, Black Dynamite, The Godfather, Brokeback Mountain, Let the Right One In, Showgirls (the best comedy ever if not Troll 2), A Streetcar Named Desire, Alien and Aliens, Idiocracy, LOTR: Two Towers, Taxi Driver, The Lost Boys, Children of Men, City of God, and anything Monty Python or Kubrick or P. T. Anderson.

Music: Prince, MF Doom, Eric B. And Rakim, Johnny Cash, NIN, Wu-Tang Clan... Ah fuck it. I quit. Never was a name dropper when it came to music. when it is good it is fucking good. I like just about every genre of music other than modern, popular Country music... sorry, cowgirls.

Food: Bacon and every single manner of delicacy - as long as it doesn't have peas, okra or squash in it. I will pick that shit out like a snotty, little Kindergartner.
The six things I could never do without
Movies.
Bacon.
Metro Card
My computers
My friends
Good whiskey
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My various time-consuming art projects. I actually have lucid dreams about them and my dreams are boring as fuck. Food and politics and some joke to one up my friends. Oh and sex - because I'm a man and also (if I haven't said this before) very, cripplingly honest.
On a typical Friday night I am
Where the wind and whiskey takes me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Not big into to musicals, but I love both "Little Shop of Horrors" and "West Side Story". Knock it if you want, but WSS is a great way to learn self defense.

Oh yeah, Me and a friend of mine kinda started a small riot in the east village by mistake.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
...If you are reasonably near me (the five boroughs or a few stops into Jersey). I do not drive and have no plans to drive. I'm also a very busy man... even if half that "busy" involves no money in my pocket and leads to whiskey.

Growing up watching TV and movies is a plus, but not necessary. This is less for me than for you. I grew up on TV and I turned out TV.... TV! Seriously I'm not that picky about this one. You do not have to know what Jack Burton "says at a time like this," or know who Robert Breer is, or know what percentage of battle is made up of "knowing" to be my friend or lover... but if you know ANY of those answers with out Google we'll get along handsomely.

Message me if you are open-minded but not a psycho,
if you are playful yet responsible when it counts,
if you are arty or into some kind of art but are not some pretentious fuck merely looking for a pissing contest,
if you politically aware but not a douchecanoe about it,
if you are intense about something in your life but not uptight when it come to life,
if you prefer evolving ideas over stagnant dogma,
if you are willing to learn something new and teach me something new,
if your answer on OKC states that you have no preference in race but it wasn't merely a ploy to not seem racist (I actually laughed when I typed that),
if you are independent thinker and not simply a contrarian,
if you can find at least one way you stand out from both the norm and your friends,
and if you are an honest person looking to have a good time and a hard laugh.