"Always go with: my sister -- the chemist who worked at a dildo factory -- thinks I'm a real catch."
...because there is nothing less awkward to start a conversation with than connecting dildos with family. Ninety percent of the time its a razor, anyway.
I am seriously not cut out for online dating.
Beat that, ya bunch'a braggarts!
I tear things apart and fix them as a hobby.
Oh, and I can cook.
Fuck you, no I don't!
Movies: zombies. anything from the 70's. I secretly cry at romantic comedies. Don't judge.
TV: that's still a thing? Does Game of Thrones count?
Music: Sometimes I dance in the grocery store.
I love me some Hall & Oates. And Stevie Wonder. Also... lots of random indie.
Food: meat, cheese, beer and coffee
Is this supposed to be ironic?
My excitement, however, does not double. It's capped at 1/32 of that in firmware.
I also find myself wondering a lot: "is this a story that I'll tell my children? Wait, will I have children? Huh, how old am I again? Phew, ok, cool, there's still time."
Raging alcoholics preferred. Depressive alcoholics acceptable.
Most of the people with a high match percentage with me have profiles that actually make them sound kinda like jerks. The self-same implications of that are practically too uncomfortable for me to contemplate.
But, anyways, I never really know what to write in this section.
(Dictated but not read)