32 Los Angeles, CA
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My self-summary
Some dating advice given to me by a female friend:

"Always go with: my sister -- the chemist who worked at a dildo factory -- thinks I'm a real catch."

...because there is nothing less awkward to start a conversation with than connecting dildos with family. Ninety percent of the time its a razor, anyway.

I am seriously not cut out for online dating.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a Ph. D.
In chemistry.

Beat that, ya bunch'a braggarts!
I’m really good at
You can get at least pretty good at almost anything you dedicate your mind and energy towards. I seem to recall Malcolm Gladwell making a bit of a stink about that (aside: I'm not a fan. I mean... he gave a TED talk. *shudder*).

I tear things apart and fix them as a hobby.

Oh, and I can cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
"You look like Harry Potter."

Fuck you, no I don't!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Anything that was written before I was born.

Movies: zombies. anything from the 70's. I secretly cry at romantic comedies. Don't judge.

TV: that's still a thing? Does Game of Thrones count?

Music: Sometimes I dance in the grocery store.
I love me some Hall & Oates. And Stevie Wonder. Also... lots of random indie.

Food: meat, cheese, beer and coffee
The six things I could never do without
oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus (in order of percent by mass)

Is this supposed to be ironic?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I get very excited when the time in the clock reads either 1:28, 2:56, 5:12, or 10:24.

My excitement, however, does not double. It's capped at 1/32 of that in firmware.


I also find myself wondering a lot: "is this a story that I'll tell my children? Wait, will I have children? Huh, how old am I again? Phew, ok, cool, there's still time."
On a typical Friday night I am
saying insane things to people I met randomly. It's an under-rated hobby.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I grew up near a dairy farm. To this day, the smell of cow shit makes me think of ice cream. This is more useful than it might sound.
You should message me if
I like women who were boots instead of heels.

Raging alcoholics preferred. Depressive alcoholics acceptable.

Most of the people with a high match percentage with me have profiles that actually make them sound kinda like jerks. The self-same implications of that are practically too uncomfortable for me to contemplate.

But, anyways, I never really know what to write in this section.

(Dictated but not read)