my eyes are wide and my smile is bright-
I suppose I should try to be funny, right? Witty? Charming?
You've looked at my pictures already, so if you've made it here I passed the first test.
[These things are bullshit.]
In real life I am strange and whimsical and entertaining. I laugh, and cry, with great fervor. I love to cook, but I'm not great at it. Same's true of playing soccer or basketball, snowboarding, rock climbing, being nice, and speaking in sign language.
In real life I am really intelligent, and an absolute [idiot] at the same time. I cower away from bugs (that's your job), and talk like I grew up in a valley [without any books]. Until you get me going, anyway.
When I go to Dunkin' Donuts I get an iced caramel latte lite, and at Starbucks I get a red-eye with soy. I don't love Target, but I sometimes find myself there. I don't shop at WalMart because I was once really stoned and watched a documentary about how they treat the people who work for them. I don't go to McDonald's because I once worked for them, and because I try not to eat garbage.
Sometimes I eat garbage.
I love pizza and mexican food and tea and movies and staying in bed. I almost always [love] a girl. I don't love listening to music unless you can show it to me, and sometimes, when I'm walking with earphones in, I'm either listening to nothing or to the Office.
I really, really like the Office.
I don't work out enough, I'm not "hot" enough, I'm not funny enough, and I'm definitely definitely not "cool" enough. So. If that's what you're looking for, go watch the L Word, and if that's what you need, well, good luck.
What else should you know...
I intimidate most people. I have big hands, and big eyes. A short tongue, small mouth. I like broccoli and I like wearing slippers around the house. I have a [Bunnie], she's part of the equation. I prefer French Toast to pancakes, and order [mashed potatoes] with breakfast.
I want to sing in the subway.
If you put pictures up on okcupid of you in your underwear, I don't want to date you. Also if you're not honest, I don't want to date you.
Honestly? I probably don't want to date you.
If that's enough for you to give up, I don't want to date you.
So often I feel I'm an exhausted Gulliver. Washed up on the shore of adventure and expectation, waiting for a warm breeze to [wake me], or a great wave to [take me out] again--
finding my feet, stretching my legs, sowing my oats,
learning to fly.
I am [unique], [surprising], and [unpredictable]