As if anyone wants to read about my dreams, but I don't keep a hard-copy diary so here goes.

I was sitting on my parent's bed back home, surrounded by sharks swimming in the [carpet] water. I thought if I kept very still nothing could happen. Then I heard some people come in and started calling to them but they didn't hear, so I called louder only one of them was my ex-boyfriend and I was fairly sure he just didn't want to hear and then the sharks started attacking me. *pout*

I don't post very often because I get distracted by other things. But I have so little to do that I'm messing around online for hours. I never have much to do, I have a very empty life which I normally fill with my nice little daydreams but right now I'm home 'cause my boss thinks I'm sick so I have extra hours to Do Stuff In and I'm going out of my skull with the boredom. I can't concentrate on anything so am just...yeah just.

I figured I might as well just go to sleep since I'm kind of tired but I can't seem to I just keep waking up with a jump after about three minutes or having very uncomfortable half-asleep dreams about, well nothing (like everything slowly turning grey until I can't distinguish one thing from another or I'm drowning but I can't see any water but just feel it covering me and filling my mouth and apparently my whole flat must be filled with it but it's completely invisible). Yes, well if I'm recounting my dreams to stangers who neither know me nor care I must be bored. My heartfelt apologies!

I'm very happy; there was a leak at work so we all cleaned up and got a plumber and that but even though it's all fine now the place needs to dry overnight so we had to shut 'til then. Ok so I feel bad for my boss (although he wasn't that stressed) but - yay! - I got to go home early. Have wet shoes though.

Anyone else have an unexpected reprieve from their job?

So I like fairy-tales, no - I love fairy-tales. Dragons and magic and princes are my bread. And I like opera. So why can't I warm to the Magic Flute? Everytime I sit through the overture and think this is great but a few minutes into the story my mind's on something else. Now why should that be?

And what's everybody planning? All have something wonderful on I hope.

For myself, I have to work tonight so am nervous already and then also tomorrow night so I won't be able to relax Saturday. But I might get up early and go for a walk before everyone's up. I can buy ice. I have a thing for ice right now, when I don't feel like eating I can suck on a cube and that's alright, my mouth is nice and numb. I'm freezing lemon slices lately too.

Anyway, it gives me something to do. Otherwise I'm just watching the clocks. There are three dotted about the room and none of the ticks are in sync. It's like "tick-tick-tock-tick-tock-tock". I guess it could mess with your brain after awhile.

It's a nice Sunday evening and I am already wanting to sleep. I've done nothing today, I just stared out the window awhile and walked round the apartment a bit and thought about going out but couldn't. I can make myself go on work nights because I have to get paid although it kills me everytime I do it but other times not so much. During the day I let myself wander round because everyone is at work or school and no-one notices me. At least sometimes - other days I can't even do that. Today I woke up and thought I'm going to church and then I'm going to buy some groceries but I knew really there was no way. I went up to the door a few times and even unlocked it but then just locked it back up again and sat back down. So I just sat mostly and now I'm tired for no reason. I could sleep forever. I don't feel hungry but I think I will buy some food tomorrow because there is nothing here and if I don't eat something then my hands will be bound to shake at the worst times and I'll spill drinks all down a customer, which happened last week and was so embarrassing I thought I might actually pass out. My boss was pretty nice and just made me go sit down for a bit but I don't reckon he'll be so happy another time. I was kind of dizzy anyway from the smells; I hate the food around me, I can manage to not watch people eat but everytime I go to pick up an order it hits me, I feel funny just thinking about it.
You wouldn't think such simple things could be so difficult would you - everyone else, how do you manage it?