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iamhijinks

35 M Atlanta, GA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 18
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I'm quirky, shy but friendly, and playfully sarcastic. It takes me a little while to warm up but if I like you it'll be pretty apparent. A little about what makes me unique: I make the best cup of coffee you've ever had. I can play dumb like nobody's business and sometimes can be quite smart. I love making bad puns. Self-summaries suck! (How's that for alliteration?)

I'm from South Georgia and have been in Atlanta for about 9 years. I like the city but hate the traffic. I love that it occasionally snows here. I prefer animals over a lot of humans. Well, except sharks; You shouldn't let a shark on the couch with you. I find clowns to be the most terrifying creatures in existence, and I think the art of the short story is vastly underrated.

I also enjoy making lists. To that end, here ya go:
1) A hot cup of coffee on a cold morning (or night) is the best thing in the world.
2) A demon resides in my washing machine. This demon eats socks. I'm always looking for socks.
3) I can't stand the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
4) I love the sound of snow crunching under my shoes.
5) I'm left-handed. My grandfather does not approve...
6) Avatar was very pretty. That's about it.
7) I still don't have an Ipod.
8) The grill is the greatest cooking device ever invented. I could never be a vegetarian.
9) You're still reading this?
10) I gave up on Lost after Season 3.
11) Everyone farts. And it's always funny.
12) Beer.
13) Green tea is delicious.
14) Rainy days depress me. Sunny days make me want to run around a park.
15) I'll go skydiving on one condition: You have to subdue me. Ever see a cornered badger?
16) I would, however, consider bungee jumping.
17) I'm addicted to American Pickers and Pawn Stars. Thanks again, Granddad!
18) In Soviet Russia, list makes you. (If you name that reference I'll dole out an award of your choosing.)
19) Huh?
20) You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
21) my roommate has an elderly Australian shepherd, and she barks at everyone who enters except for me. Not sure if she loves me, or just knows who picks up her poop...
22) I will still read a comic book if it is placed in front of me. Or if I go buy it. Which I will do...

Will probably continue the list later...

I am dryly sarcastic, sublimely curious, and oddly interesting.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently employed, which in this economy is saying something. I work for the government so don't hold that against me too much. Or do, if you'd like.
I'm in the middle of figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. Oh, and figuring out what's for dinner, along with ways to pack up and relocate to Sedona. Also, I'm a decent travel companion; however, most of these profiles list travel as their most prominent hobby. Good for you guys if you can, but I have a budget, which doesn't include much travel at this time. Check back later for future announcements
I’m really good at
listening, walking and chewing gum at the same time, being a smart-ass, obscure trivia, random acts of kindness, random acts of mischief, keeping secrets, and contemplating life's little mysteries and subtleties.
The first things people usually notice about me
My bifurcated tail and cloven hooves. Or...really I don't know. Seriously, probably the tail...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Crooked Little Vein, by Warren Ellis (I can't recommend that book enough); Stephen King; David Sedaris; I have a strange affinity for zombies; Deftones, McClusky, Muse, Future Of The Left, Serenity, really anything by Joss Whedon, Alien, Raising Arizona, Halloween (the original John Carpenter version as well as the holiday in general), The X-Files, questionablecontent.net...to name a few.

But since you can't eat movies or books and feel good about things, food-wise I'm a sucker for Italian, a good steak, sushi. I'm open to trying new cuisines, but draw the line at pig's feet...
The six things I could never do without
Coffee, a good book, my eyeballs, music, and life's little curiosities. I know that's only five, but I'm fairly spartan by nature.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What to do during a zombie apocalypse. Thankfully, there's a manual...
How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. That damn owl said three, but he cheated...
The demise of common courtesy.
What would Batman do in a situation like this?
What would The Joker do, for that matter?
On a typical Friday night I am
Enjoying the fact I made it through another week and hanging out with a few friends; if there's something interesting playing at the movies I'll go. Sometimes I'll attempt to cook something. Really it's an excuse to dance around the kitchen while the radio is on.

Or maybe I'm plotting something...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Aren't you nosy? Ok, If I miss the Coming Attractions in a movie theatre I won't even bother. I'll just leave.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I strike your fancy. Or if you feel like it. Or if you need help Starbursting a friend's house. Or if you have something important to tell me.