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26 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 3:58am
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Strictly anything
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Doesn’t have kids
English, Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly), Icelandic (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Twerk team coach, amateur goat herder, aspiring super villain. Head of the Seattle chapter of the Lil Sebastian fan club. Slytherin graduate, Hogwarts class of 2011. Dwight Schrute once told me I should be in comedy and then gave me a bottle of Perrier and I didn't even have to suck his dick.

Creep my Twitter/Instagram to get a real time play by play of the mediocre but ridiculous life I attempt to live: @hitbycars
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Ruining it as much as I can one day at a time. Or working full time at the airport and living in north Seattle. One of the two
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Burning bridges, both physically and metaphorically, accidentally injuring myself, and complaining that I want to be at home when I'm out and out when I'm at home
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a beautiful animal, a destroyer of worlds; I'm Harry fucking Potter. I have a few tattoos, a few nice shoes, and a few didgeridoos*

*I do not actually own any didgeridoos
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have this disease where I can't stop singing Disney songs in awkward situations
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Cocaine and puppies and I can't bring myself to pretend I care about 4 more things
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The volatile nature of human animalism contrasted and simultaneously juxtaposed with our self imposed civil standards of conduct.

And nice butts like lawd help meh if she got the booty fam
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I shot Tupac
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If Wednesday Addams is your spirit animal