I used to think of myself as a spaz, but I'm not nearly as awkward as I pretend to be. I guess I like that little buffer of self-deprecation. (I'm trying to get by on my neurotic Jew charm—work with me here.)

I identify as a homebody, but I actually go out on a pretty regular basis—to meals, comedy shows, anything mellow. I can also drink you under the table, as long as we're drinking coffee.

I'm an Associate Editor at BuzzFeed. No, it's not just putting together lists of cats. It would make me really happy if you read my stuff. Feel free to lie and say you did; I'll never know the difference.

Every once in a while, I get on stage and tell a story. Sometimes people laugh, and it's kind of the best.

My business card says I'm a "pop culturalist." I don't really know what that means, but it sounded a lot less whore-y than "private dancer," my first choice.

finding the subtext in everything. Also, making out.

might be that I look younger than I am. Well, I guess they don't notice that first, since it would require knowing my age. Instead, they say things like, "An Obama pin? Aren't you too young to vote?" I was 22 at the time.

My favorite English major-y author is Faulkner, but I also love trashier fare (Bret Easton Ellis]]) and mysteries ([Kate Atkinson). When I'm in a non-fiction state of mind, I go for Mary Roach and Michael Pollan, as I lived in the Bay Area for seven years and it was a requirement. I read comic books (Batman and Fables FTW), but only when they're released in collections, because I'm too lazy to keep up otherwise.

Movies. Um. I don't really have a favorite, but when pressed, I usually say Valley of the Dolls. Otherwise I mostly go for foreign steamy romances and gory horror films. I also love campy trash and sequels: Wild Things and Grease 2 have a special place in my heart. Pedro Almodóvar and Woody Allen are my favorite directors ever, so I'm inclined to love pretty much everything they make.

I hate talking about what music I listen to, because I feel like I need to expand my musical horizons. For the time being, Jenny Lewis, Conor Oberst, and Ben Gibbard can do no wrong. Aside from douchey genres like indie folk and alt country, I also enjoy pop. I listen to really shitty music in my car: judge me—I crave your disapproval.

I'm not picky about food, but I could probably survive on sushi alone. Ironically, the high levels of mercury in fish would surely kill me.

Loved ones, DVD collection, physical intimacy, the internet, The Golden Girls, wit.

what to read or watch next. It's seriously daunting.

I sometimes worry about what would happen if gravity stopped working. As a gay Jew, I have a constant fear of persecution, and who's to say the universe won't turn against us?

But if you see me looking spaced out, I'm probably writing an article in my head. Or thinking about sex. Or thinking about writing an article about sex.

either watching a Netflix movie at home, or hanging out with other real-life humans. I don't go out much on Fridays anymore, since I have to get up early for work on Saturdays.

In general, I prefer one-on-one encounters to large parties, though the latter can be fun if I'm feeling sufficiently social. I like hosting friendly get-togethers at bars, even though I almost never drink. And I go to UCB and Cinefamily as often as possible. Join me! We don't even have to hold hands.

Twitter is a really important part of my life. Which sounds lame, until you consider that I'm a writer-amateur humorist-attention seeker, and there's really no better venue for that sort of thing. Feel free to take a gander: @LouisPeitzman.

Most of my friends are writers and comedians, and I met them all through Twitter. I imagine some people would consider that a character flaw, but I'm happy to surround myself with sharp, funny people.

On an unrelated note, I wish "Looking For" had a "Casual making out/cuddling" option, because I'd be all over that.

You think I'm cute and funny, or ideally, both. You can make me laugh. You want to join me at comedy shows and movies, but you'd also be down to stay in and watch a Lifetime movie under a blanket. No funny business. (OK, maybe a little.) You kiss on the first date, and you're really good at it.

You're creative, grounded, kind, and awkwardly handsome (or handsomely awkward). You're not an asshole.

If I messaged you, there's a good chance I think you're cute, but I must also think you seem like a cool person. So even if I don't strike your fancy looks-wise, I'm always looking for friends. Feel free to be upfront about your interest and we'll go from there.