hi i'm charlie. i make electronic music, read loads of books (fiction and i'm working on reading more non-fiction but finding it difficult as i have the attention span of the average gnat), own a guinea pig named lord voldemort (he bites), and am cautiously looking out for a 'soulmate' even though i doubt i'll find one on here.

i'm currently rebuilding my life based on a rejection of the old hippy philosophy 'if it feels good, do it'- it's a painful process of self denial. in the short term i'm going to be going to a community college to get a certification to be an x-ray technician for the pay and the mobility- after that i'd like to look into a doctorate in psychology, maybe a few other things. in the long term i would dearly like to change this messed up world we live in, though i doubt i'll live long enough to succeed i've come to a conclusion that the value i get is not from my accomplishments but rather from the amount of constructive suffering i endure towards those accomplishments. so i don't really need to succeed, i just need to keep trying.

oh i don't know, i'm an infp so supposedly i'm really good at figuring out peoples emotional motives and the ways to assuage their doubts, fears, and anger. also i can't shut up once you get me talking and i refuse to accept bullshit arguments, though if you can provide a clear and concise argument devoid of false dilemma, red herrings, circular reasoning, self fulfilling prophecy and confusal of cause and effect relationships vs. corelations then i tend to (rather angrily) admit my misunderstanding of the concepts and try my best to change my mind on the subject so next time i can be right (i friggin' love being right).

i honestly have no clue. probably that i talk too much?

anything that makes me think- or better yet question my opinions. i love ALL music... except the stuff on mtv, vh1, bet, and cmt. sorry not a big fan of the bland corporate 'art'. i don't watch t.v., but i've got netflix so i suppose that's a compromise. my favorite author in the whole world is samuel r delany - that's frickin' awesome sci-fi for those not in the know i guess i'd call him a cross between palahniuk, vonnegot, and herbert (sr.). if you don't read, and i mean books, not magazines or internet zines you shouldn't be bothering reading this, it's not gonna work.

some medium of creative expression.
something to read.
some sort of goal to be working towards.
some sort of obstacle to make reaching my goal more difficult.
someone to argue with.
someone who supports me no matter how stupid i am.

abstract and probably esoteric philosophical and/or psychological phenomenon which i believe to be the building blocks of the perceived world. great examples would be the difference between male and female mindsets, the failings of the hero mindset and the victim mindset, and the lack of distinction between selfless and selfish actions/intentions once a certain level of moral/intellectual sophistication has been attained.

thirty years old. so... yeah PARTY IT UP just as soon as i have my midlife crisis and start dating eighteen year olds. seriously probably reading a book or working on music or maintaining a relationship over the phone or out on a date or something- actually most likely working.

i have failed at most everything i've ever tried. and worse, i've failed in such a profound way in that i've given up after a single failure- moreover i'm beginning to realize that i have given up before i've even failed, as well as deliberately sabotaged my own efforts to justify giving up. this applies to my music, my desire to learn more of philosophy and psychology, and every relationship i've ever been in. i'm probably doing it right now. i can't help but wonder if i'll ever catch up to this behavior or if i'll always be a few steps behind noticing it after the fact and this thought terrifies me.

screw all this, just send the damn message. i won't bite. not even if you want me to- i'm not into that sort of thing.