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29 Portland, OR Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My long-term goal is to have a foreboding mansion with its own hedge maze. On foggy afternoons, I will go perambulating in the hedge.

Intrepid visitors will knock on the door to my mansion. "Can I rent the hedge?" they will want to know, for a birthday party, wedding anniversary or business reception.

"Yes, as long as I may deliver my speech beforehand."

I will deliver my speech, about the illusory nature of wisdom, in a manner that seems extemporaneous. (It is not). At the end of the speech, I will go, "aha!", and vanish in an expanding cloud of smoke.

A little while later, I will reappear with cake.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Saving up to go on vacation.

When I go to standup comedy shows, I laugh really hard at the setups and then I shrug at the punchlines.

I'm a little bit Adam and a little bit Hannah, a little bit Arya and a little bit The Hound.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making chili
Going places
Tasting things
Answering questions
Kitchen experimentation
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Lit: A Confederacy of Dunces (Toole), I Claudius (Graves), Wind Up Bird Chronicle (Murakami), Kon-Tiki (Heyerdahl), 2666 (Bolano), The Confessions of Nat Turner (Styron), most stuff by Mailer, Nabokov, West, Roth

Film: Woody Allen, Billy Wilder, John Huston, Altman, Alexander Payne, Coens, Scorsese, Hitchcock, Fincher, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Terminator II: Judgment Day

Music: Silver Jews, Radiohead, Neil Young, Jonathan Richman, Black Keys, Stravinsky, Tool, Santigold, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, classical, jazz, blues, live music shows

TV: The Sopranos, The Wire, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Top Chef, Bourdain stuff

Also love some radio: This American Life, The World, Planet Money, A Way with Words
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Soy sauce.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
They should gradually transform the Paul Newman face on various Newman's Own products into a skull.

Paul Newman --> decaying face --> skull

why are there so many jokes making the rounds about T-Rexes having short arms? WHAT are we accomplishing there?

do women who love beards also love pubes? if not, why not?

who is the masculine corollary to Liz Lemon?

the 90s

where are yall finding all these llamas/sloths to take photos with?

Women on okcupid seem to be split on the matter of tacos vs burritos. My question: why is it necessary to take a hard line either way? They're both good. And also, pizza.

Did I shit the bed by not including the word "wanderlust" in this profile?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Cat --> Begins making sounds like he is about to vomit. Mitch --> Shepherds cat from carpeted floor to tile floor. Cat --> Seems like he is okay, may not vomit, meows for litter box to be cleaned. Mitch --> Begins cleaning litter box. Cat --> Slips away quietly and quickly throws up on Mitch's carpet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't really care about correct usage of "there", "their" or "they're", but I'm kind of a stickler for "less" or "fewer". And "lightning" and "lightening". C'mon!

I also don't like the Oxford Comma.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you enjoy laughing.
- you like trying new foods.
- you are Natalie Imbruglia (circa 1997).
- you want to talk about why Shakespeare is the smartest person on the list.
- you have good taste, but abhor snobbery.
- you want help with your fantasy baseball / football team.
- you're happy where you are now, and you're looking to meet someone who is happy where they are.
- you have an interesting historical factoid to share.
- you have a funny joke to share.
- you want to play chess
- idea for first date: I will bring a container of homemade mashed potatoes, you will bring a container of homemade mashed potatoes. There are no restrictions as to the type of mashed potatoes. Meet in a park, sample the mashed potatoes, rate the potatoes on a number of criteria.