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illusionofjoy

33 M Pittsburgh, PA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:48pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It all began eons ago when some jagoff verbally beat into a state of submission. When I regained consciousness, I was signing up for this website whist being told that I needed to meet new people. I argued that most of the human race wasn't worth meeting, however, the jagoff persisted. Thus, here you find me...rarely at this juncture.

I am domestically partnered with truebabybloo and our two daughters. She's a good influence on the girls. As for myself...probably not so much.

I keep this profile through times of attachment and times I'm not attached. Seeing as how I have two children in my life, I shudder at the idea of becoming detached at this juncture. I suspect most people do the same these days, as it serves no good to lose a username, thus ending up forced to create a new virtual identity.

The tests are an amusing waste of time...well, the ones that aren't utterly inane are amusing. I've encountered a few user-written tests on this site where I've read through the questions and then immediately rated said test one star, if only for the inability to give the test a rating any lower.

Anyway, I am a polyamourist, which is a distinct animal not to be confused with a swinger. I believe - and have been faced - with plenty of evidence that monogamy is an unnatural state and quite possibly not the end-all and be-all of a relationship status that everyone has been led to believe. In any case, I have found myself able to fall in love with multiple people (albeit, always female, as any latent bisexuality I may have is at a threshold so low as to be effectively non-existent). As I said before, I'm not a swinger - no judgement call there, I just don't do casual very well. The best way to turn me on is to engage me mentally and emotionally as well as physically. In spite of all that being said, I'm not "walking the poly walk" as it were...nor am I really troubled enough by that fact to go out of my way to change it.

If you ever ask me to choose between you and my cats, I will always choose my cats.

I also have a bad habit of looking at profile multiple times in an attempt to decide whether or not to send a message. Sometimes I'll even save a profile with the intention of revisiting it and sending a well thought out message in the near future. I hate to send messages which aren't well thought out. If one is to communicate, one should make it count, correct?

Even after making contact I might visit a profile repeatedly...because I like looking at people who I think are pretty. Is that creepy? Yeah, that's probably creepy...

As an aside, let it be known that I like voluptuous women, fat women, BBWs, SSBBWs - pick an adjective or abbreviation. I'm not afraid to admit it either! I'll sing it from the rafters: bring me the hot fatties!

I am cutting, dark, and liberal
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am in a perpetual state where I am fighting to do what I want to be doing rather than selling my time to avoid homelessness and starvation. The sobering truth is that no one will pay you to be artistic; if you are lucky they may pay you to be entertaining. In any case, there is mounting evidence that I should be selling my time somewhere else. Meanwhile I'm also trying to figure out how to be a parent without becoming one of MY parents.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...song composition and making others angry with me (sometimes simultaneously). Hey, you should listen to my music from one of the hive sites linked to from illusionofjoy.net and dispel or confirm any delusions I have that I'm any good at song composition.

Also, I'm very efficient when it comes to traveling long distances. Such is my endurance that I can drive for nine hours in one sitting (including coffee and bathroom breaks, mind you).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Good question...

Hell, let's open up the floor here - what did YOU first notice?

Spelling things like a Brit, I've been told, is my only drawback. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Compartmentalise! Categorise! Cut it up into little bite-sized pieces, that are easy for the masses to digest! If you know what I like, you can more easily define me, no?

Fine, you win; have some musical preferences -
http://www.pandora.com/people/seth.e.warren
http://www.last.fm/user/warren33/
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Relativism requires that I do not fill out this form.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. You wouldn't believe the stuff I think about.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...sleeping.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
http://illusion_of_joy.livejournal.com - not that any of that is private, it is on the internet, for fuck's sake!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you have something potentially insightful, meaningful or amusing to say to me. You are not completely insane (partially insane, but on a regimen of meds is acceptable). You don't mind someone who has LOTS of opinions and isn't afraid to express them. Blatant flirtation and come-ons are welcome as well. I am occasionally shy, but not reserved (how contradictory).

Basically, send a message if you think we'll amuse each other.

Don't bother if you think you can "steal" me from my girlfriend. That's just sad and stupid.