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26 M Allston, MA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:37am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats

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My self-summary
I've tried to rewrite this thing like 5 times, and every single time I re-read it and realize, "wow, I sound like an asshole". After a few more tries, I just accepted the fact that I don't sound like an asshole, I just actually just am an asshole. I'm not going to rewrite it again.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a software developer. I develop software. In my free time I go to the gym, ride my bike (read: year round, you fair weather bike riding buttholes who clog up the bike lanes come spring), slay riffs in my super rad band, record music, and develop more software.
I’m really good at
Being a dick. Also computer stuff and recording music. Also good at being handsome while holding a guitar.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is just a cultural dick measuring contest, and I'm not going to take part in it.
The six things I could never do without
1) The ability to choose as many things as I want to never do without
2) All of the things
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cat gifs, when and where I will get my next slice of pizza, why did I even leave the comfort of my bed.
On a typical Friday night I am
I mean I told myself I really would try my best and fill out this profile the best I can, but this is an awful question.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was 16 and living in Ohio I knocked up my teenage sweetheart, who I then married. Eventually the child was born, and slowly but surely he began to tear our marriage apart. One day, when the baby was crying and my wife was screaming about being 3 months behind on the rent and well past due on the rest of our bills, I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. My job at the factory was wearing me down; I just couldn't stand one more day trapped in the humid, rusting hell hole I was sure would one day be my coffin. I told her I was getting a pack of smokes, got in my truck, and drove east. I kept driving for about 10 or 11 hours straight, until I hit ocean. It was at that point that I decided I was never going back, and thought to my self that sure, Massachusetts would make a good a home as any. I burned my truck to the ground, got a stupid haircut and awful looking glasses, and assumed my new life as a dumbass hipster in Allston.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 19–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You like pizzabongs (do these exist?) and cats.