32 Dayton, OH
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My self-summary
Movie adaptations of Nicholas Sparks' books give me hives. I hate grass. It smells weird and it makes me itchy. I like cats and kittens. Dogs are on a case by case basis. I like fish but they're horrible to cuddle with and no fun to pet. I like babies because they're not really people yet. I hate teenagers because they're all the worst parts of people mushed into a pimple-riddled, angst-fueled bag of asshole.
What I’m doing with my life
Adulting as much as I am required to by law and society.
I’m really good at
Making myself unappealing, being hilarious, verbally assaulting strangers, creating elaborate fantasy worlds in my head, answering pointless questions on dating websites, ruining poignant moments.
The first things people usually notice about me
Eyes, tits, sailor-mouth, hilariousness. No idea in what order though.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love reading but have trouble making myself read entire books nowadays as I have the attention span of a goldfish.
Currently reading Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson.

Horror movies are my favorite. Always. However, I like just about any movie except romantic comedies and "chick flicks."

I don't keep up on current shows for the most part, plus I don't have cable. I do like The Walking Dead and Archer though.

I listen to rap and hip hop mostly. Mostly. Electric Six, Sage Francis, Atmosphere, Murs, Mayday!, Tech N9ne, Gossip.

I like all the foods. I do not discriminate against foods. Sushi and Italian are probably my faves.
The six things I could never do without
Sleep, friends, laughter, my kitteh cat Newt, dill pickle spears, macaroni & cheese.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
when I can take my pants off, when I can take a nap, why I have to go to work, who came up with this adulting shit, selling all my belongings and moving to an abandoned shanty by the ocean.
On a typical Friday night I am
Vacillating between a desperate need to go out for the night and my body and brain's demands to hide in my bed.
You should message me if
... you can form an entire sentence using proper spelling and punctuation.
... you have strong feels about things which you think I may also have strong feels about.
... you're able to carry on entire conversations without mentioning the finer points of your genitalia.
... you're not a serial killer.
... you're a serial killer but a very charming one.
... you're looking for a new partner in your neverending quest to conquer the world of competitive ice dancing.