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30 New Port Richey, FL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 9:57am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, my name is Ryan. I am a guy.

Lets just say that I’m way better looking, way richer, way smarter and way funnier than some people but way uglier, way poorer, way dumber and way more boring than others. If you are too, maybe we’re soul mates.

Oh that reminds me of something. If you’ve ever used the term Swole Mate in any other context than to describe how insanely retarded it is to call someone a Swole Mate, crumple up my profile and toss it in the trash. If you think its wrong to use the word retarded you’re retarded. Language is pliable. Its constantly morphing and no one is talking about a mentally handicap person. Intention is what counts.

Since I just veered off on a tangent I’m going to go ahead and abandon any sensical format and just continue sporadically rambling from here on out. Speaking of fitness. Everyone likes fitness. I get it. I like it too but I’m not a knucklehead about it. The internet is saturated with enough fitness memes and fitness e-cards to last for eternity. Everyone tone it down a notch, no pun intended. The universe is filled with things that are actually interesting and we can post about those too.

I find things that people don't intend to be funny extremely funny and I find things that people intend to be funny pretty lame. I hate clubs. I hate dub step passionately. I hate EDM passionately. Who came up with that part of every song that goes like: Shots Shots shots shots shots sho sho sh sh sh sh shshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshsshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshsots ? It gave my Grandmother and Seizure and she died. Its in every song, just a different word and its ****ing really annoying if you’re not a dipshit.

I would rather be outside than inside. I love nature. I have a boat. I spend a lot of time on it. You know what they say: Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll Douche up his truck with a bunch of Saltlife stickers.

I’m an atheist. Hopefully whoever is reading this has a vagina and if you do I want you to know that you were not created from the Rib of another man. All religions are man made and no one knows the answer to how or why everything came to be. Its not ignorant to admit you don't know. Its only ignorant to act like you do. “For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.”
- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Ok my coffee is starting to wear off. I may sound arrogant & cynical but I'm really not. I dont take myself seriously and I have a huge heart, I even cry during some commercials. If you don't message me that's ok. Everyone isn't for everyone. We all should find the person who gives us the same feeling inside whether we are eating a candlelight dinner in Paris or eating a candlelight dinner out of an alley dumpster because we're homeless. We will have to test each to see if we truly have chemistry. We can do the dumpster dinner first and its is on me. You can get the one in Paris.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Deeply contemplating everything about life as it passes me by.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being modest.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The 5lb cyst coming out of my belly button. I dont know how to answer this because I dont ask people what they notice about me. Becuase im sane and not a crazy narcissist.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Anything science related.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Proposing to you in the pouring rain because we just had some type of argument that was bad enough for you to kick me out but not bad enough for you not to say yes to marrying me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Shaving my mothers legs or watching antique road show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Im a 47 year old, 377lb man named Ron who works from home. I'll pay for your schooling tho.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You viewed my profile, feel we are soul mates and would like to birth my child naturally, in a kiddie pool on my farm/compound.