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30 F Houston, TX

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:11am
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly anything
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Where to begin in describing myself... You can't have awesome without me, for starters. No, really, you can't! It leaves you with just 'aweso". ;) Hee! I kid, I kid... I consider myself funny, intelligent, generous and loyal - I think you'd agree if we got to know each other and hope you have similar qualities. I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh and laugh at me in return and someone who's looking to share their life with another person. I may not be looking for anything super serious right this second, but I'd love to begin something that eventually has the possibility to be serious. I love trivia, board games, Cards Against Humanity, writing, movies, and hippos. They're the most dangerous animals in Africa, you know! Walruses are also pretty fierce.

I'm an ESFP, if you're into that :)
What I’m doing with my life
I work in insurance as a claims adjuster. At some point soon, I'll be going back to school so I can work my way up into management. I absolutely love my job! My company may be in a notoriously boring industry but they make it really fun and I love going to work. I'm always working on bettering myself!
I’m really good at
I'm best at writing and making people laugh; I'm currently working on a novel and I'm a really great story teller, verbally and otherwise. I also really enjoy improv style comedy, hence my username. Also, making out. Again, I've been told I make a damn good girlfriend.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm extremely friendly and I love to make jokes; if I'm with a group of people, I'm typically the one making everyone else laugh. I don't generally fade into the background, although I'm an excellent listener.

Unless you mean physically in which case, I'll be honest: it's the tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Big Love, The Outsiders, and The Lovely Bones. I wish I had more time to read.

Movies: My five favorite movies are as follows: Robocop, Animal House, Total Recall, Spaceballs, Demolition Man.

Music: Ben Lee, Kimya Dawson, The Moldy Peaches, The Ramones, Joan Jett, Foreigner, Journey, CCR. As you can tell, my tastes are pretty eclectic. I like a lot of Top 40 stuff in a guilty pleasure sort of way.

Food: Italian! But my all time favorite restaurant is The Mason Jar in Houston. Everything on the menu is amazing.

TV: Listen I'm not even going to front here, people. My favorite show of all time is The O.C, and I don't care if that destroys my street cred. I also really like Damages, Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights and Parks and Recreation. Guilty pleasures include Hart of Dixie and Nashville.
The six things I could never do without
A job, friends, food, air and water. Everything else you can make do without. It's amazing what you can make do without when you just try.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I can better my life, and what the future holds. Also, finishing that novel I've been working on for six months. I'm really just excited about life in general.
On a typical Friday night I am
Team trivia, a movie with friends, or out trying something new. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
So I went to a gay bar in Montrose with friends recently. The "dancer" kept trying to get me to stuff a dollar bill in his shorts and I kept shaking my head and trying to hand it to him. Finally, he took the money from my hand and patted me on the head, not unlike a puppy. I'm a little shy, y'all.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 28–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you like Robocop!

[edit] I suddenly realized there needed to be more reasons to message me than just liking Robocop... Alright, here goes! Message me if you're up for casual dating with the possibility of more, if you've got a great sense of humor, and enjoy being friends with the people you date, and you're not put off by dating someone who's ~curvy. Rubenesque? Some other ten dollar word for that awkward place between slightly chubby and morbidly obese?

As for what I'm looking for - I like a guy who's funny. If you were the class clown, bring it on. I'm damn funny and I like a guy who I can banter with.

What I'm not looking for is casual sex. I'm a nice girl, and frankly, not hard wired for such shenanigans. That is to say, sending me crotch shots and telling me the size of your junk and whether or not it's circumsized is just going to make me think you're a pervert and will result in me blocking you.

This blanket should also include telling me you're jerking off thinking about me. I kind of only want to hear that stuff from guys I'm dating, ya dig?

Trust nothing, if not this: when a girl is interested in your johnson, she'll either ask or slip a hand down there. Until then? Patience, young grasshopper.