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30 F Katy, TX

I’m looking for

  • Straight men only
  • Ages 28–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:54am
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly anything
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Where to begin in describing myself... You can't have awesome without me, for starters. No, really, you can't! It leaves you with just 'aweso". ;) Hee! I kid, I kid... I consider myself funny, intelligent, generous and loyal - I think you'd agree if we got to know each other and hope you have similar qualities. I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh and laugh at me in return and someone who's looking to share their life with another person. I'd love to begin something that eventually has the possibility to be serious. I love trivia, board games, Cards Against Humanity, writing, movies, and hippos. They're the most dangerous animals in Africa, you know! Walruses are also pretty fierce.

I'm an ESFP, if you're into that :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work in insurance as a claims adjuster. At some point soon, I'll be going back to school so I can work my way up into management. I absolutely love my job! My company may be in a notoriously boring industry but they make it really fun and I love going to work. I'm always working on bettering myself!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm best at writing and making people laugh; I'm currently working on a novel and I'm a really great story teller, verbally and otherwise. I also really enjoy improv style comedy, hence my username. Also, making out. I've been told I make a top shelf girlfriend.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm extremely friendly and I love to make jokes; if I'm with a group of people, I'm typically the one making everyone else laugh. I don't generally fade into the background, although I'm an excellent listener.

Unless you mean physically in which case, I'll be honest: it's the tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Big Love, The Outsiders, and The Lovely Bones. I wish I had more time to read.

Movies: My five favorite movies are as follows: Robocop, Animal House, Total Recall, Spaceballs, Demolition Man.

Music: Ben Lee, Kimya Dawson, The Moldy Peaches, The Ramones, Joan Jett, Foreigner, Journey, CCR. As you can tell, my tastes are pretty eclectic. I like a lot of Top 40 stuff in a guilty pleasure sort of way.

Food: Italian! But my all time favorite restaurant is The Mason Jar in Houston. Everything on the menu is amazing.

TV: Listen I'm not even going to front here, people. My favorite show of all time is The O.C, and I don't care if that destroys my street cred. I also really like Damages, Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights and Parks and Recreation. Guilty pleasures include Hart of Dixie and Nashville.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A job, friends, food, air, water AND IMPROV! Everything else you can make do without. It's amazing what you can make do without when you just try.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I can better my life, and what the future holds. Also, finishing that novel I've been working on for six months. I'm really just excited about life in general.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Team trivia, a movie with friends, or out trying something new. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
So I went to a gay bar in Montrose with friends recently. The "dancer" kept trying to get me to stuff a dollar bill in his shorts and I kept shaking my head and trying to hand it to him. Finally, he took the money from my hand and patted me on the head, not unlike a puppy. I'm a little shy, y'all.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you like Robocop!

[edit] I suddenly realized there needed to be more reasons to message me than just liking Robocop... Alright, here goes! Message me if you're up for casual dating with the possibility of more, if you've got a great sense of humor, and enjoy being friends with the people you date, and you're not put off by dating someone who's ~curvy. Rubenesque? Some other ten dollar word for that awkward place between slightly chubby and morbidly obese?

I respect myself. Please know this: if you blow me off, stand me up, get drunk and disrespect me... You won't hear from me again and you won't get a second chance. I will respect your time in the same manner and treat you with the same care. And, trust nothing, if not this: when a woman wants to see your Johnson, she'll either ask - or slip a hand down there. Until then: patience, young grasshopper.

As for what I'm looking for - I like a guy who's funny. If you were the class clown, bring it on. I'm damn funny and I like a guy who I can banter with.