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integrity_fire

31 M Croissy-sur-Seine, France

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 26
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Education
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), French (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! I think your time is precious so here is a disclaimer: I am looking for my life partner. If you are not looking for that, please move along. If you are, then welcome to my profile. I'll try to describe myself as honestly as I can:

I'm a very passionate man. I'm a very loyal person. Since I was very young the idea of loving and caring for a woman appeared to me as one of the most noble of pursues. I’m a geek (a programmer when I was 6 years old!) and I love sorting out daily life puzzles and problems - technology and I are good together. I’m a natural poet and a philosopher of life. I try hard to discern what’s good from wrong in my behaviors and those of others and I try to correct for what is due - and help others correct their behavior when is due, too.

Perhaps because I went through many years of psychotherapy myself, I've become very interested in deep psychology and what make us do the things we do - and how can we help and be helped to be more integrated, healthy, and genuinely happy. I’m an activist at heart and I tend to manifest against organizations or individuals that hurt people. I’m the kind of person that would not compromise and instead risk everything in order to be in integrity.

I’m a natural dad and teacher for kids, they tend to like me and I like them and I've always thought about being a father. I can be a very deep person. An ex passionate spiritual seeker now turned normal person again (more on this on the next section!) I've gone through a whole spiritual journey - so there is some depth here, that sometimes feels as if I was an older person in the body of a younger person. In partnership I tend to be extremely kind, dedicated, responsive, generous and trying to make my partner feel loved, cherished, seen, and protected.
I can be very funny, on occasion loud and energetic.

I’m a natural teacher and leader, and I feel at home if I am leading/guiding in a situation, although I am good listener and feel at home following as well. When in partnership, intimacy in the form of cuddling, sleeping together, and love making are for me of the most sacred things of life - and I cherish each of those circumstances, never taking them for granted even as a relationship gets older - each day tends to be like the first day for me.

I would like to dedicate some lines too to my defects and blind spots; I've been historically somewhat impatient and sometimes anxious.
In the past and when in situations in which I was being subtly or overtly betrayed or emotionally abused, I've responded a sometimes with reactivity, disconnection/lack of empathy and/or emotional aggression.

I've been working to overcome these tendencies (psychotherapy), and I understand now that if somebody is not being respectful and caring with me (after enough warning and communication) I should leave them instead of responding back to them with any kind of aggression or negativity. My anxiety and impatience have also been much better since I started to work with self-soothing and self-love.

Some of my particular wounds and relationship-failures in the last few years have been around dating a few women that were for different reasons unprepared and/or incapable of providing safety and/or stable love in relationship - and thus ended hurting me.

I hold high standards for monogamy both for me and my partner, which basically boil down to “when in relationship, the couple vow to -try to- focus all their sexual energy (both mental, verbal and physical) only in their partner and nobody else”. So it's zero flirting or immaturity with me please.

NOTE: I'm on this site with the intention of hopefully finding the right person for a romantic relationship. I'm not here to make new friends, for I pursue that (friendship) through other online and offline channels that I find more appropriate for that. So in case I don't see romantic potential I will probably not respond to you, even if your message seems friendly. Thank you.

Added: I am originally from Argentina, I lived more than 20 years in Buenos Aires. I then moved to France where I lived 2 years, before finally moving to Boston 3 years ago. English is my second language (French is third) and I speak it and write it fluently, yet you may find some grammar issues here and there.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
On the musical side of my life,

I’m a vocal music teacher working in an innovation public high school in Boston. It is a terrific job, allowing me to work with teenagers of all backgrounds. It gives me the wonderful opportunity to actually cause an impact in their lives and guide them to build good character and values - in addition of course to building a taste and experience of music.

I’m also a contemplative music teacher. In a nutshell, it means I’ve been trained to guide people to experience a variety of states of consciousness using music and chanting in particular as the method.

I received an O-1 Visa (visa for extraordinary talents and achievements) for my work in this field, and I have taught contemplative music classes in colleges/universities and yoga studios in the area.

I’m also a performer and a composer, and I’m now in the process of recording my first solo album that was crowdfunded last year. In the past I performed and toured with two of the most renowned international artists in this area, in South America, Europe and India.

On the Psychology side of my life,

I’m finishing my undergraduate in Psychology. I've been accepted into a Doctorate program in Psychology here in Boston, which I will be starting in the fall.

My aim is to be both a clinical psychologist and also to write about trauma, relationships, human growth and healthy spirituality in the future. I’ve taken several CE courses in different areas of Psychology under the mentorship of an awarded Harvard professor and psychologist for the last few years.

I’ve dedicated a lot of my time in the last 12 years to spiritual pursues. I’ve been trained in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition of meditation, including living with a Tibetan Lama and later on studying advanced courses here in the US (I’ve even been appointed as teacher-in-training). I took some distance from all of it recently. After all these years i feel the whole meditation scene, communities and practices can be very ungrounded and can paradoxically generate spiritual inflation (a sense of being special/better than others) and spiritual bypassing (a sense of kinda flying over personal shortcomings -or relational problems- as if we didn’t have any or as if they weren’t important). In the future I’ll try to healthily integrate all that I learned over the years about meditation with Psychology in a way that makes sense to me, though for the time being I'm taking a break from it as a whole.

I dedicate an hour or so a day to body activities (running, crossfit, weight lifting, yoga) and I would love to share these activities with a partner, if she is fond of it.

I try to dedicate as much time as I can to bonding and fun social activities of all kinds like hiking, dancing, kayaking, enjoying a sunset, going to movies, going out for dinner, camping, cooking, gatherings with friends at home, going to see the ocean, discussion groups, museums, travelling etc. When in partnership I tend to prefer to share these things mostly with my partner - I find it so amazing to share such things together.

Lastly I would group here a few other projects that take part of my time but are either dying out or just starting: 6 years ago I invented a musical instrument (renowned worldwide) and founded a company to produce it and sell it - I still have a bond to that project. I developed a cloud-based system for governance of companies, that is in beta/testing phase at the moment.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
coming up with great ideas that are both helpful to people and profitable
directing projects from the ground up till full completion with almost no resources
meditation (practice,theory, and instruction/guidance)
teaching in general / leading people
computers! I’ve been a geek since I was 6 :)
singing, everything and particularly harmonic singing
giving advice to someone
philosophy - arguing (especially on writing)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got reports from people perceiving a depth, warmth, kindness and a sense of honesty/authenticity when they met me for the first time. Physically I think it could be my eyes, my arms, or maybe the fact that I walk like a duck!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books
Haven’t been reading much (other than my University Books) lately, but I would say:
Robert Master’s Emotional Intimacy, Spiritual Bypassing, and Transformations through Intimacy

Movies
The Dark Knight Rises (the whole trilogy actually)
The Chorus
As it is in heaven
Star Wars (all)

Shows
The Daily show
The Colbert report

Music
Sacred/contemplative music: Lama Gyurme, David Hykes, Gurdjieff music, Armenian duduk, Lisa Gerrard.
Electronic music: some Daft Punk, Sasha, some DubStep
Movie Sountracks (like a lot of Hanz Zimmer’s stuff)
Rock/Pop: Sting, Peter Gabriel, David Sylvian.
Classical music (a lot of different things)
Popular music from Argentina/Latin america

Food
I enjoy all kinds of food, but would mention here:
Good sophisticated vegetarian menu (a-la-Red Lentil!)
Argentinean empanadas and asado
Thai food
Good Chilean/French wine
Good dark (stout) beer
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
truth / honesty
kindness
meaning
emotional depth / connection / deep friendships
some time for myself
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Psychology/healing processes
Moral issues
Projects for the future
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching a movie with my housemates in our home cinema :)
or going out for dinner with a friend or a group of friends.
or heading towards a good healthy party!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Since childhood I’ve always believed in soulmates.
I like dancing alone in the street to funky or electronica hits :)
I can eat a whole condensed milk can if there is one in the house (please, don’t)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-Relationships are wonderful yet sometimes they are tough. Are you ready to go through a rough period without disconnecting or abandoning the ship? Are you ready to face things about yourself that might arise in the context of intimate relationship, and to work with them overtime, without running away? I need someone mentally strong and with a huge heart that will learn to love through difficulties.

-You have been for a few years at least looking for your life partner (ideally, you have always dreamed with that). You envision romantic partnership as one of the main cornerstones of life, with many or most other things organizing around it. You envision partnership in part as a way of growing, healing, and awakening.

-You have tons of love to give, and time to give it. Your life has this “special place” for your partner’s “arrival”, and your heart has this special love for cherishing and caring for him in good but also (especially!) in difficult times.

-You would like (and are prepared to!) receive tons of love from your partner, cherishing and caring for you when you are doing great but also when things are difficult.

-You are ready and willing to attach emotionally to your partner deeply, and you are respectful of that kind of bond.

-You have always known/felt, or at least you have felt/known for a few years, that you want to be a mother (I’m young and therefore not in a hurry to have children right now - but I do envision having them in the future, or adopting if my wife cannot have children) and to have a family in the future.

-You have outgrown the feminine crave for male’s sexual attention years ago. When you are in a partnership, the only person you want to attract and to share your sexual/sensual energy with is your partner. You have great boundaries and know how to put them, and you are very aware of subtle sexual/romantic dynamics between men and women.

-You know your psychological shortcomings (we all have them!); Whatever it is, you are aware of it, and you have been and/or are working on it. I don't want a "perfect" woman (it doesn't exist). I want a human being that knows her limitations and is willing to take responsibility and grow together with me.

-You have a life of your own (willing to share it) that you have painstakingly created over the years. In some way this life you’ve created for you is oriented towards helping others, dedicated to the greater good.

-You have a good, healthy, loving network (no matter the size - it could be 1 person) of people around you that you can emotionally rely upon in the case your partner for whatever reason is either not available or that you are having some trouble. People that are honorable, moral, honest.