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30 Chicago, IL Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
May 11
Seeing Someone
Body Type
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a random person who loves to mess with reality. (Either yours, or anyone in the immediate vicinity.) I question you. Authority. Books. The spaces in between the constellations. Maybe even that dark corner in your house that gives you chills when you walk by it...

Random is Resistance. Points to you if you know what I'm referring to.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Everything you aren't. No really, i am. Soy todo lo que tu quieres ser, y aún no lo sabes. Heh, I'm that awesome. Das siehst due dan schon...

Other tidbits of nonsense include:

-Dancing circles around people I don't know and engaging them.
-Traveling a metric fuck tonne with my lovely koala. (sexyassgf)
-Taking my clothes off.
-Taking my clothes off and being admitted into bars anyway.
-General bloviating and lascivious behavior.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Thriving in awkward situations.

Ever walk into a consulting firm's party and wonder why the hell the management is dirty dancing on the makeshift dance floor? Yeah, meet the person that made it happen.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Excuse me, sir, but I believe you're heading towards the wrong bathroom."

'You didnt know? I'm making sure the ladies in the restroom needn't a gallant gentleman to help them with their undergarments. You know how complicated they can be to manage.'

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Muchas cosas, pero no tengo tiempo para decirte. Aún no quiero decir. No te lo mereces. Es ist was es ist.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Shelter of some kind
My limbs
My family
That's seven bahaha
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to conquer the world.

How to be more androgynous.

When I'll be in another gay dance sandwich with sexy Londoner men.

Doing a hundred pull ups without stopping.

Meeting people that alter my state of being. Or rather those that can offer a different perspective.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making hot, sexy times happen with my girlfriend. Yes.

Or having a dance party. Yes, it's awesome. It's what myths are made of.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a guy in a female body that dances like a fabulous gay man.

Also I look intimidating, buuuuuttt I'm a huge frakkin mush. Super mush. Just ask my gf or my friends. :D
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't mind entertaining other thoughts or comparing realities. It's best summed up as such:
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

Just because I've been hit up enough by salacious cads:

1. No, I will not fuck you.
2. Gross, seriously, folks out there. Just no. I'd break you.
3. Seriously, you'd prolapse before you knew what was happening to you. Even if you are into that JUST NO.

Yarr, stop being creepazoids and masturbate to eFukt plz. If you still feel compelled, hit up 4chan.