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intoxipolitan

28 F Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 9
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English, French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Ahoy there! I'm the unexpected, I believe you were expecting me?

I am a female human, above-average Huckleberry Hound, internet junkie, Jungian ENTP, whimsical gnome, secret basketcase? etc. My major interests include arts, and sciences, and other things, and I am a total sucker for all matters passionate, creative and witty. I'm notably engaging, spontaneous, and enthusiastic! And usually pleased in vast excess by silly things, like kitsch, puns, pop culture references, and general nonsense.

I've met very few people who are actually boring, but they exist. So you're maybe never going to understand me if you're not, on some level, some sort of starry eyed, originatively inclined half-fox-half-human, if you know what I mean. (Incidentally, my husband and I met through this site, and then eloped in Vegas.)

Wait don't go!!! If you want to sail on the S.S. Friendship, toot toot. Seriously. If not, what is your problem? Why is everything always about sex with you? We could drink all of the drinks, sing power ballads, laugh obnoxiously, and cheer really loudly when we beat Turtles in Time. But I get to be Raphael, he was my first crush. We have a long-standing thing going. I like turtles.
What I’m doing with my life
By night, I'm a writer, painter, and mixed media artist. I also host and shoddily edit a podcast about nerd culture with my delightfully nerdier sister and brother, and we're working on a new dystopian comedy project involving Barbie actors. Don't ask. By day I do boring computer work from home, in my pajamas. I also mold children in my image and do a lot of complicated cookery. I often speak vaguely of lofty goals, and intentions to finish multiple projects, and an array of other endeavors, errands, tasks, thoughts, sentences,

We're looking to embark on an epic journey involving Dungeons and probably Dragons and definitely shapely dice. So far, my character is a beautifully rolled Eladrin wizard, but that's as far as I've come. So yep, there's that... this is awkward.

Down the line, I want to be a full-time private teacher, get involved in the community, maybe even eventually become a progressive politician. Definitely a crotchety writer with a grody bong in an attic full of books. Ultimately, a pot-stirring philanthropist socialite, the kind of individual who pours fine Scotch out of crystal bottles in a wood paneled study, whom people look back on with infographics, misattributed quotes, and mass-produced t-shirts. Maybe even get a federal holiday, so people can be all like "Yay, that little lady dedicated her life to humanitarianism and by George it's given me a chance to go mow my lawn," or whatever.
I’m really good at
innuendo, wordplay, waxing poetic, musing, playing devil's advocate, winning impossible arguments, aiming well from far away, creatively arranging wall art and furniture, cooking everyone into food comas, remembering all the lyrics to terrible songs, carnival games, snake charming, soothing savage beasts, and noticing little things other people didn't.
The first things people usually notice about me
There's a large horn growing out of my forehead, which can't be photographed by cameras from this time period.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Okay buddy, you might want to skip this section. I'm really gonna ramble.

BOOKS
Good stories are dreamy. Novels, biographies, history, social studies, biology, sometimes astrosciences. I enjoy collecting cookbooks and hoarding magazines.
Anthony Burgess, Roald Dahl, Hunter S. Thompson, Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonnegut, Carl Sagan, George Orwell, blah blah blah, essentially anybody who's spent a lot of time stoned in coffee shops. I'm working on those lil' old George R. R. Martin stories right now.

MOVIES
Comedies, nerdy nerd things, very good movies, VERY bad movies, or anything that can be described as "cheesy" and/or "80s."
A few tip-tops: Better Off Dead, They Live, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Room. The real list is super long.
(See: John Cusack, Bill Murray, Jack Nicholson, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey)

TV SHOWS
Most funny things, most British things, most nerdy things. I'm big into stand-up, too! <3 Patton Oswalt, Doug Benson, Mitch Hedburg, Eugene Mirman, Kumail Nanjiani, Ron Funches.
I've always proclaimed my favorite show of all time to be Sifl & Olly. But also Star Trek TNG, Doctor Who, X-Files, Black Books, Green Wing, The Office (UK), Parks & Rec, The IT Crowd, Spaced, Sherlock, Firefly, Deadwood, Arrested Development, Game of Thrones, Sopranos, Dexter, Adventure Time, Unsolved Mysteries, Workaholics, Psych, Flight of the Conchords, Community, 30Rock, Elementary, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Justified, Jeselnik Offensive, Drunk History, Colbert Report, Daily Show, @midnight, and more!!!!!!!!!

MUSIC
I'm a celebrated jukebox DJ.
I sing, and play keyboard, but I'm stupid-shy. Sometimes I hit stuff with other stuff, but I'm not a drummer. I'm just married to one. Most of my friends are musicians. No, I probably will not show you my finished music... But get a few drinks in me and I'll definitely sing karaoke at you. Let's do it! LET'S DUET!
I'm constantly hunting for good music, but I'm picky. I usually listen to a lot of indie everything, classic rock, folk, soul, doo-wop, classic country, glam, new wave, punk, etc. I've always got a new flavor of the week, so I'm not sure who my "favorite band" is. My go-to answers are Tom Waits, because I sort of worship him, and The Clash, because they're The Clash, but that doesn't really reflect on the rest of my tastes. For example, I really love this band from Philly called The Teeth (who have now renamed themselves Purples), Say Hi, Man Man and everything Honus Honus touches for years now. I like exceptionally eclectic Pandora/Songza playlists (what up Jock Jamz). I always seem to have Elvis Perkins on rotation, and Electric Light Orchestra makes me feel like I'm SO high even if I'm only KIND OF high.
Great songs have great lyrics, and on that note I dig hip hop and poetry slams. I rarely pay any attention to what or whom is topping charts, especially in terms of modern commercial pop/rap/country/r&b, but my musical appetite is boundless.

FOOD
Food food food food. Food. I looooove cooking indulgent, elaborate meals. I live for all noms, and drinks, from all over the world, in every way, at all times. I'm an oddly gifted baker, too. I could reeeally go on about all that, but for now I shall spare you, mortal. Food.
The six things I could never do without
oh six things? Okay. Rebellion, the internet, zany shenanigans, beverages, good company, baaaad company until the day I die, laser eyes, invisibility cloaks, invisibility potions, debauchery, enlightenment, truth, justice, sandwiches, pens, lists, my beloved, our beloveds, coffee, tea, espresso, Earl Grey hot, Earl Grey cold, useless trivia, *narwhals*, movies, x-acto knives, olives, making and listening to music, unicorns, creative writing, acrylic paint, thrift stores, old stuff, hoarding weird junk, mixed media, arts & crafts, mixology, really old magazines, cooking, baking, culinary arts, cowboys, dinosaurs, bars full of people who know all the words to songs like "Come On Eileen" or "Bohemian Rhapsody," robots, friendships, battleships, space, time, space/time, video games, especially RPGs and FPSs, crackers, pixels, animals wearing costumes, animals wearing costumes of other animals, magic herbs, magic beans, Jane Child's hair, and numbers higher than six! Don't tell me how to live my life!!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
highly unlikely situations, little details, the big picture, and What Would Neil Patrick Harris Do?
On a typical Friday night I am
marinating in several things that start with the letter W.
But I'm more of a Saturday person.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
eyes. (clap!)
They're watching you! (clap clap!)
They see your evvvv-eryyyy moooove
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
you are delightfully flawed. I happen to like flaws, and can assure you I'm riddled with them. And riddles.

Or am I?