Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


26 Emeryville, CA Androgynous, Transgender, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Man

Androgynous, Transgender, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Man

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Queer, Heteroflexible, Lesbian, Pansexual, Bisexual
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Spanish (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
UPDATE: I have a pole now! Want to trade lessons or play around? Get at me.

I'd rather be tied up than tied down. Less hang ups, more hangovers. I try to live my dream rather than dream my life. One word: Compersion.


I'm a lesbian with a dick fetish. Just a weird, cute, sexual, fabulous thing.

I'm an introverted social chameleon, a corporate hippie, a hopeless romantic with non-monogamous tendencies (I'm in an open relationship with myself), a logical daydreamer, a self preserving and modest cook, a queer, kinky and unrepentant slut.

I find a connection with a lot of people, and it's instant with most of them. It's like we're immediately best friends until proven otherwise. So sexuality comes easy for me with people, and it's usually not without emotional chemistry. I'm polyglamorous!

That said, I'm in open relationships with a few people and a couple. I'm open to more, or a more committed relationship.

Most things are a joke, and not laughing is a waste.

I'm a light packer, a good driver, and a wanderlust trip taker.

I'm kind of a nerd, and love intellectual debates or conversations. My Myers-Briggs is IDGAF. Have fun.

I don't take this site all too seriously, but then again I seriously need new friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I do whatever I want. If its something I'll regret in the morning, I just sleep late.

Hangin' and bangin'. Apprenticed a chef. Worked the line for a handful of years. Trained in massage therapy. Making a little food blog (think cute naked twink chef and homemade healthy snacks!). Pursuing more massage skills (Thai), yoga training, bartending experience, and circus arts. I like being more in touch with my body. I love gogo dancing and stripping!

Being fabulous in nude, fetish, erotic modeling, and porn ^_^ Long live sex workers!

I consider myself a polymath/Renaissance man/generalist.

Creating a fabulous entourage. Think west coast harem empire of cute, kinky, poly sluts. You in? Submit your CV for review.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Advice and being objective.

Navigating traffic, I'm so 1337.

Let's just say that I'm cliterate.

Closing the tab on a sober/straightedge OkC profile.

Oh, and eating. I eat faster than anyone I know. I'll probably out drink (beer) you and finish eating twice as much in half the time. It's kind of disgusting.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Wheel of Time. Hur dur I read George Orwell, let me tell you about politics. But seriously, Calvin and Hobbes. Tom Robbins and Daniel Quinn were good when I was younger.

Tried to read Midnight Sun. Made it a few paragraphs, got tunnel vision and woke up with dried blood all over my face.

Movies: Almost Heroes, Brokeback Mountain, Dark Knight, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Fountain, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Lost in Translation, Pi, Primer, There Will Be Blood, Tommy Boy.

T.V.: Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Dexter (1 and 2), Freaks and Geeks, Fullmetal Alchemist, Louie, Party Down, Seinfeld.

Comedians: Louis C.K., George Carlin, David Cross, Ricky Gervais, Joe Rogan.

Bands: Dredg, Flogging Molly, Gogol Bordello, Goldfrapp, The Knife, La Roux, Mia., Movits!, Pepper, Sublime, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yelle
Solo: Andrew Bird, Bat For Lashes, Beyonce, Björk, Britney Spears, Fever Ray, Hopsin, Kylie Minogue, Lady Gaga, Lupe Fiasco, Nellie McKay, Rihanna, Shakira, Zola Jesus
Electronica: Bassjackers, Dudeman, Electric Soulside, Fast Foot, Hardwell, Lazy Rich, LMFAO, Nicky Romero, Röyksopp, Sick Slaughterhouse, Tits and Clits, Tommy Trash
So yeah, EDM and catchy pop. Dance dance dance!

Video games: BF3, CS, DoD, DotA, UO.

Food: Gumbo, sourdough bread, boudin, guacamole, crêpes, stouts... Yes, I chew my stouts.

Cajun - not Creole you dumdums.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A good brew, darker and stout'r.
Promiscuous and form fitting clothing.
Interesting sexuality, kink, vanilla, fetish, and fluid.
Witty humor and easy amusement.
Exciting company, relaxing friends, and adventurous criminals.
Cold weather, cozy cuddles, and cute, comfy clothes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Money, boredom, cuties, which way to shake my butt to this song, dumb people, boobies, food, penis, being dictator, how good this thong/buttplug feels in my butt.

What foodies would do if the Fat Duck served a chicken salad on rye toast as a course.

Me: "Can you imagine how cute the girl version of me would be!?"
Friend: "But... Aren't you the girl version of you?"

I don't mistake education or status for intelligence. Just don't be so dumb that you dry off after getting out of the shower.

Speaking of which, why I should have to wait for someone to finish showering to do so myself. Why can't I just join in? You better not be a person that makes people wait.

It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.

How incredibly rude it is for cats to not meow back.

How to spoil my friends. Sursly, dood. It's almost a problem sometimes; I overthink how to spoil some of my friends. Be it food I want to make them, gifts to take a bank loan out to get them, massages that will wear my thumbs to nubs, or something else. brb, intervention.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
What the fuck is a weekend? Dancing my butt off, out eating or drinking, in making a feast, making someone come, cuddling with movies, having a game night, wishing for a game night, or working on some small project. I can sleep when I'm dead.

Be prepared, if I'm riding in your car I'll be barefoot with feet out the window. If its at night, I'll be naked. Speaking of which, my fagmobile has a strict policy of no one allowed in with clothes on.

I want some drank. But I'm up for anything, adventure time!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Never message me if you'd rather cut off part of a child's dick than clean it.

If your age is ≤22, we probably won't be going past casual or friends.

I don't like pedants.

Okay, now that the negative part is out of the way, message me if:

You want to be massaged!

You have a hard time not smiling or laughing. People who are always up for fun and adventures!

You don't make excuses. Everyone has a busy life. I want people who make time for their friends.

You're a nympho like me. You want to dance and cuddle naked outside in the rain. Let's talk sex because I have so many different interests I can share with people. I'm pretty kinky and into voyeurism. If you want to tell me a story about fucking an ex, or send me some pics of it, that'd be hot.

You'd like to help me produce fun porn! I have a lot of ideas I want to do, so let me know!

If you're interested in or affiliated with anything similar to the circus, I want to know you. I'm a circus groupie.

You live out of state or in another country. If we become long distance frands, I could have a place to travel! Or you want to marry me for citizenship reasons.

Or if you're a tattoo artist who will trade for sex or massages :D I have nine or ten concrete tattoo ideas, and would love for them to be completed!

FetLife profile: irmerk

Also, if you want to collaborate with me for my food blog! I'll be doing my own recipes and posting them, obviously, but my idea is to be a cute little twink naked chef!