Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


27 North Hollywood, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I recently moved to LA from what could generously be called the East Coast. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing at any time ever, but I'm getting better at faking it. I'm an amateur stand-up comic and an even more amateur writer.

Probably the most important thing to know about me is that I have a real self-deprecating sense of humor. I mean only half of it, I promise.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
*Hearty laughter that grows more uncomfortable with each passing moment*
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a pretty good writer and poet, or at least I'd like to think so. I'm also told I'm pretty funny.

I'm a genuinely nice person as well, but I don't consider that a talent. More the absence of a negative quality. Since when is "not an asshole" something special?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get lots of compliments on my voice. Please note that I'm choosing to take people stumbling up to me and drunkenly mumbling, "You sound just like Brian*!" as a compliment.

Also, a common reaction I get from women I meet through this site is some variation of: "Wow, you're way more attractive than your pictures!" Which... isn't really a compliment? But whatever man, I'll take it.

*Brian is apparently the cartoon dog from Family Guy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I don't have the patience for novels lately. Most of my reading is either books of poetry or graphic novels. Comics in general really intrigue me, but I'm not interested in superheroes. Charles Burns, Bryan Lee O'Malley, and Alan Moore are right up my alley, though. My favorite poet is probably Bukowski, because I am nothing if not an insufferable hipster.

Movies: Yeah, I like movies. Coen brothers are a favorite.

Shows: I think Rick and Morty is probably the best animated show on TV right now. Lately I do not have the time to watch TV. Or, um, a TV. I'd like to continue my TV education, but this is a pretty low priority on the self-improvement totem pole for me.

Music: Modest Mouse is my absolute favorite, but I'm looking to expand my horizons.

Food: I tend to regard most food as a capsaicin delivery mechanism.

Hate fish, like sushi. I am quite the conundrum.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. This ashtray.
2. This paddle game.
3. This remote control.
4. These matches.
5. This lamp.
6. The chair.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Is this a joke? (Technically.) Is it funny? (No.) Should I try it at the open mic tonight? (No one cares.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'll be sure to let you know once I find out what my new "typical" is. I'm brand new to the West Coast, keep in mind, so still kind of finding my feet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't own a car. Working on it, though.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Pick any two:

- You think I'm attractive and/or funny.
- You're okay with the fact that I do not have, and never will have, abs.
- You're a feminist. Smash the fucking patriarchy already, man.
- You can make it through at least one date without getting blackout drunk. This seems like something I shouldn't have to say, but... yeah. I apparently do. This is a pattern in my life I'd like to break.
- You're a creative person, like a musician or artist or what-have-you, and you want to show off some of your work. If you're any good at all, I will probably be impressed and say nice things about it.
- You want to take me to your favorite bar, show, restaurant, park, something. It will likely be my first time there, which is always fun.