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ironicphrase

24 Houston, TX Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Men who like women
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Nov 11
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Writing about myself is awkward. But I guess I'm pretty cool and sometimes people laugh at my jokes. How's that for confidence and self promotion?!!?! On the real though, I like to consider myself a good friend to have and a fun person to hang out with. But I also like to consider thin crust pizza healthy because there's less bread so who knows.
I am notoriously indecisive.
I WAS ONCE TOLD THAT I LIVE MY LIFE IN CAPSLOCK WHICH IS AN EXTREMELY APT DESCRIPTION OF MY EXISTENCE.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Graduated from Trinity University where I double majored in Communication and Ancient Mediterranean studies (yes, I paid for two completely useless degrees... let's not talk about it, okay?).
Recently quit my HR data entry job to maintain the little sanity I have left, and am now working at a ceramic painting/glass fusion studio until I figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.

I am attempting to embrace this whole "being an adult" thing...
But I'm pretty sure that I will always be an immature little shit, so whutevaaaaa.
That being said, I know when it is appropriate to display my immaturity and when it is not. And that's really the important part about growing up, right? RIGHT? RRRRIIIIIGGGHHHTTTT?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Saying stupid things that don't really make sense but will maybe hopefully make you laugh?
Talking about how much I like cats.
Doing things at the last minute.
Complimenting strangers on random things.
Rambling
Having NO idea where I'm going.
Making noises. (Many of which are directly related to cats- I've been told that my meowing is frightfully realistic)
Silly Voices. Lots and lots of silly voices.
Cooking Chicken. I don't know why but I have a chicken based gift.
SARCASM.
Being an idiot.
Speaking (and typing) in run-on sentences and sentence fragments.
Wearing fake blood to any possible event in which it could even mildly be considered appropriate. (I still don't get how people didn't think dressing up as a dead hooker for a fetish themed party was funny...)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes (I can only assume this is due to the fact that their lifeless emptiness creates windows into the deepest, dankest crevices of one's own personal hell)
Quite often (usually) the fact that I am doing something supremely stupid.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A comprehensive list of these things is next to impossible so here's the stuff I can think of at the moment.

Books: JOHN DIES AT THE END (if you have read this you get a bajillion bonus points) ANYTHING BY CHRISTOPHER MOORE (especially Lamb), Neil Gaiman... (all the novelssssss) Terry Pratchett (obsessed with Good Omens, and I've started reading the Discworld series, which may very well take the rest of my life to complete) shitty paranormal romance, Harry Potter... of course,1984, The Giver, Ella Enchanted, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Hunger Games, shit by Anne Rice, I Am America, and So Can You, Ancient Greek/Roman Plays.

Mooooovies: The United States of Leland, Idiocracy, Brick, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Meaning of Life, Life of Brian, all the Miyazaki movies, Paprika, Grind, American Psycho, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, other shit I can't think of

SHOWS: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (!), ATTACK ON TITAN (OHHHH GOD), Whitest Kids U'Know, THE STATE, FMA: Brotherhood, Highschool of the Dead, The IT Crowd, The League, Blue Mountain State, True Blood, COLBERT REPORT (I did my senior comm capstone on this), So You Think You Can Dance, Bones, Bleach, Soul Eater, Ouran Highschool Host Club, lots of other Anime (new shows added every Tuesday night thanks to the Drafthouse), Buffy, 30 Rock, Girls, DOCTOR WHO, other things.

Music: Likes include; LANA DEL REY (SWEET GOD I WOULD MARRY HER) Andrew Bird, OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW, He's My Brother She's My Sister, Okkervil River, Aesthetic Perfection, Animal Collective, BRAND NEW, Dr. Dog, Frightened Rabbit, Greenskeepers, Infected Mushroom, jj, Peter Bjorn & John, Seeed, TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS, STATE RADIO, DISPATCH, YACHT, The Faint, The Kills, The xx, many many more. I like a wide range of things, but am also extremely picky with what I choose to listen to.

I LEIK FOOD A LOT I LEIK INDIAN FOOD, CHINESE FOOD, THAI FOOD, BLEEDING COW MEATS, DELICIOUS CANDIES, KEY LIME PIE, MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE, FOOD IS YOMMY
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. moooooozik
2. my family/friends
3. cell phone. I have an ungodly addiction to being connected to people. (not human centipede style i promise)
4. cats
5. cats
6. carbs (f you Atkins diet)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much I hate war, cats, how society is totally fucked, kittens, how I can help the people I care about, nail polish, the deterioration of our planet, shoes, how cruel people can be, AND HOW MUCH I LOVE DRAGONS.

I RECENTLY STARTED PLAYING MAGIC THE GATHERING AND NOW THAT IS ESSENTIALLY ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS I THINK ABOUT. Oh goddddddddddddd.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...... Friday-ing it up and whatnot. (MY LIFE IS TOO WILD AND UNPREDICTABLE TO BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY ANSWER THIS QUESTION.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I wish it was socially acceptable/actually possible for me to grow a really really awesome beard.
The one I have now is just pathetic...

Also, I have gout. Which by proxy means I am really an 80 year old King! So you better fucking bring me some offerings or some shit.

I'm weird as hell, guys. Don't expect anything else.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, you don't treat women like shit, and you don't use blatantly improper grammar/spelling out of laziness or idiocy.

MOAR IFNS
-Going to a concert is your idea of an evening well spent
-You're not a robot
-The concept of railing a season of 30 rock is appealing to you
-You've seen and love Bravest Warriors
-You're okay with a girl who is part cat
-Intelligence is important to you, but you're not an asshole about it (most of the time)
-You are made of cheese
-You share my undying love of prosciutto
-You want to visit me at work and make some awesome functional art in the form of ceramics or glass
-You are a cat
-You are a cat-dragon hybrid
-You are a human
-You are not a cannibal
-You LARP and are willing to introduce me to your magical world
-You still want to talk to me after reading all of this.