Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This profile originated in a simple thought experiment that went
like this. Having struggled, as you have, to sculpt a profile that
would be remotely worth reading, I decided I'd sit down for an hour
and write what I genuinely believe to be true and open and
accurate; that, to fend off the acute self-consciousness that is
bound to attend a romantic audition, I'd pretend I was not writing
a profile at all.
Here's what came out of that exercise.
I'm gregarious and highly literate and possibly the most articulate
man you will meet anytime soon.
My sense of humor swings a wild arc between the inventively funny
and the absurdly juvenile slapstick; in charmed moments when
something unrehearsed and gorgeously funny tumbles out, I will try
to pretend that I'm not pleased with myself. But, of course, I
Determined to never, ever go to paunch, I'm in the gym three times
a week, and I run about a thousand miles a year.
I am liberal and public-spirited, and I can explain my views. I
believe that conviction is a fine thing, but I have an allergic
reaction to most forms of dogmatism.
I read about thirty-to-fifty books a year. I love words. I use
words that you know but that you forgot you know because no one
else uses them in sentences. Yet I am told that I also deploy the
f-word to charming effect also. Dimensions!
My main hobby is writing, which allows me to push the words I love
around on a page. Because I lack the discipline to write a book,
and because I'd rather socialize than do the hard work of sustained
creation anyway, I randomize the shit out of my friends by sending
them amusing letters.
I am a self-taught software designer, but I am not a nerd (not that
there's anything wrong with that -- I'm just not).
I have excellent fashion sense. I consider Indochino a fashion-porn
site. Hell, I look for reasons to wear a suit. If you're interested
in hanging out, then you're probably a good reason.
I'm neither obnoxious nor shy. I ask for what I want, but I'm a
gentleman too, so I'll always make it easy for you to decline any
request that doesn't suit you.
Now, let's talk about sex (remember -- we're doing candor here). I
realize certain things profit by mystery, but I want to get a
couple things out there just to make things easier on both of us. I
am not interested in either S&M or polyamory. I don't believe
I'd enjoy a threesome either; I don't enjoy seeing men naked, I
believe that one sufficiently vigorous woman is about as much as I
aspire to handle, and with that, I believe we've eliminated the
non-viable (for me) configurations.
And now, for the clincher: for all of the foregoing, I am a genial,
empathetic, self-deprecating man; this is the last time I will ever
talk about myself at such length.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working a job that I treat as a job, without necessarily hating it.
Finding interesting things to read and think about. Trying to solve
the mysteries behind the world. Making peace with finitude and
contingency. Things like that.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making conversation. Telling both true and embellished stories.
Cooking. Writing. Discussing art. Learning. Wordplay. Karaoke. And
believe it or not: putting people at ease.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Visually -- I'm quoting a co-worker. My "youthful handsomeness".
Since I'm graying in grand style, I think she's probably referring
to my demeanor.
Aurally: my voice. It's a good voice -- a coworker used to refer to
it as the Voice of God -- and I did nothing to get it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Lolita. Middlemarch. The Adventures of Augie March. The
Great Gatsby. Swann's Way. Love in the Time of Cholera. Wolf Hall.
Bring Up the Bodies.
Movies: Twelve Angry Men. The African Queen (magic). Casablanca.
Junebug. The Squid and the Whale. Lost in Translation.
Music. Elvis Costello, Leonard Cohen, Andrew Bird, Doc Watson,
Wilco (but in doses, because he makes me blue), David Bowie, John
Prine, Mark Knoplfer, The Pre-Mullah Cat Stevens, The Shins, The
Smiths, Tom Waits.
Foods: Too many to even begin to list.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My children. My curiosity. Health. A full bookshelf. The suspension
of disbelief. The affection of my friends. Also: fornication.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why is there something rather than nothing? What measures should we
take to preserve self-conscious life in the universe? Also:
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with friends. Almost always.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a truly shitty dancer. This is important. If you want me to
dance with you, you must be willing to tolerate that, and you must
provide the liquor.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are a bright woman who really likes shooting the breeze with a
bright man who is not a train-wreck.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.