Here's what came out of that exercise.
I'm gregarious and highly literate and possibly the most articulate man you will meet anytime soon.
My sense of humor swings a wild arc between the inventively funny and the absurdly juvenile slapstick; in charmed moments when something unrehearsed and gorgeously funny tumbles out, I will try to pretend that I'm not pleased with myself. But, of course, I am.
Determined to never, ever go to paunch, I'm in the gym three times a week, and I run about a thousand miles a year.
I am liberal and public-spirited, and I can explain my views. I believe that conviction is a fine thing, but I have an allergic reaction to most forms of dogmatism.
I read about thirty-to-fifty books a year. I love words. I use words that you know but that you forgot you know because no one else uses them in sentences. Yet I am told that I also deploy the f-word to charming effect also. Dimensions!
My main hobby is writing, which allows me to push the words I love around on a page. Because I lack the discipline to write a book, and because I'd rather socialize than do the hard work of sustained creation anyway, I randomize the shit out of my friends by sending them amusing letters.
I am a self-taught software designer, but I am not a nerd (not that there's anything wrong with that -- I'm just not).
I have excellent fashion sense. I consider Indochino a fashion-porn site. Hell, I look for reasons to wear a suit. If you're interested in hanging out, then you're probably a good reason.
I'm neither obnoxious nor shy. I ask for what I want, but I'm a gentleman too, so I'll always make it easy for you to decline any request that doesn't suit you.
Now, let's talk about sex (remember -- we're doing candor here). I realize certain things profit by mystery, but I want to get a couple things out there just to make things easier on both of us. I am not interested in either S&M or polyamory. I don't believe I'd enjoy a threesome either; I don't enjoy seeing men naked, I believe that one sufficiently vigorous woman is about as much as I aspire to handle, and with that, I believe we've eliminated the non-viable (for me) configurations.
And now, for the clincher: for all of the foregoing, I am a genial, empathetic, self-deprecating man; this is the last time I will ever talk about myself at such length.
Aurally: my voice. It's a good voice -- a coworker used to refer to it as the Voice of God -- and I did nothing to get it.
Movies: Twelve Angry Men. The African Queen (magic). Casablanca. Junebug. The Squid and the Whale. Lost in Translation.
Music. Elvis Costello, Leonard Cohen, Andrew Bird, Doc Watson, Wilco (but in doses, because he makes me blue), David Bowie, John Prine, Mark Knoplfer, The Pre-Mullah Cat Stevens, The Shins, The Smiths, Tom Waits.
Foods: Too many to even begin to list.