Want to play a game?
If we like each other, we rate each other highly. This automatically starts a new conversation for us despite my relentlessly full mailbox. Then we ask each other questions, both agreeing to answer honestly. You can start with these.
1. Do you see any moral or aesthetic differences between a woman being a surrogate mother versus being a prostitute?
2. Around what kind of person do you feel the weakest?
3. Imagine you walk me home from our date. I invite you in. But I say you are not allowed to talk anymore. If you want something, you will just have to take it. Do you come in or go home?
TL;DR: We probably won't get along.
I like orgasms and stories. I make them nearly every night. Sometimes, I let your mom watch.
I need someone to help me learn French. So far, I just sing along with Jacques Brel all day. Voulez-vous m'aider?
My longest-running relationship is with my calculator, Leonhard. He's an HP-48GX. I like my function notation like I like my sex: reverse-polish style.
I drink a lot of coffee. I'm probably not where I say I am. Doubt everything.
I'm glad that someone as accomplished as Leonardo had many unfinished projects. It lets me feel justified when someone gives me a hard time about my many unfinished projects and I punch them in the face. That's for Leonardo!
I appreciate peer review and poop jokes because, eventually, we all produce $#!+.
I may seem crude on the surface, but I have a heart of iron. (This would set up a good hemoglobin joke if such a thing were possible.) Around the middle, I stick to your teeth like caramel. Towards the bottom, there is a solid ethical base. I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.
I drop a lot of Shakespeare.
When I was a wee lass, the truth appeared to me, and I found it helpful. As we grew closer, the truth at times refused to speak or slow down or play how I wanted. To keep up, I have become habitually curious, honest, and tough because, though the truth remains indifferent to me, I don't know how to live without it.
When I grow up, I hope it doesn't last long.
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.
I don't think you're ready for this jelly.