Everything's going pretty great! I have everything set for my court hearing on Monday which I'll be bicycling to. My court payments shan't be a problem to make every month. My OWI 2nd Offense will be in the middle of October, and I haven't read the packet on it yet, but it should be cut and dry much like myself. I can't imagine anything will be a problem. I'm wondering if I could even get my license back before I've completely paid off my court fines. I just realized that taking the driving test might be a problem, but thankfully I only start at noon on the weekdays.

There's times when I feel like there's something missing, but then I remember that I don't have room for much else. At least that's what helps quiet that notion for the moment.

I've started bicycling to work during the week, and it feels great. I still have yet to do so with less than ideal sleep which I'm curious to see how that will go.

It's been a while since the last post, and after further investigation it was over 5 months ago. Since July 12 I've been working 7 days a week, and I'm loving every day!

Yesterday I came to the realization that I don't think I could be significantly invested in a person that can't control themselves. It was so clear yesterday and now I worry I'm thinking too much about it. haha Maybe I just need to keep going like I have been and not make any decisions without taking it case by case.

On a lighter note I've found that Coke Zero is the cat's pajamas! I've ordered Papa John's the past two nights in a row. I don't think I'll need to bring any microwave meals for lunch during the week.

I think I have some callbacks that I need to do tomorrow for work.

It's either a good thing or a bad thing that I answered all the match questions. In doing so though I found that the number of total available questions it tells you is wrong. So far I'm up to 90 jumping jacks and plan to do more later and this is just after starting to do them a few days ago. Wicked fun, much more than running.

Still no job but waiting to hear back from a place that sounds like fun it'd be doing tech support for Wells Fargo and $10/hr. It's absolutely hilarious that at my old job they're paying new hires less. I really can't wait to work and this over 4 months of doing "nothing" is really getting tedious. I do like the aspect of being a spendthrift though. I have not bought a new TV that I've been eying though. Which I think I might once I land a job. No idea what WF location it will be though, and I'm not sure which I want it to be more. That's a lie I want it to be downtown.

Nothing horribly drastic since the last time I've journaled. Watching tons of PBS, got two new coats, a Wii, and some games/accessories for it. Ho-hum.

Do you think that someone who cheats when playing games can be trusted in a relationship?

• Yes.
• No.
• I'm not sure.

hahah I was wondering when this topic was going to get tackled! I am living proof that it is possible to cheat in games and be unwaveringly faithful. I've never cheated in a relationship, and I even use peripheral devices to cheat, ever since the Playstation!

My mom doesn't seem to get that I don't delight in "all things gay" as she feels the need to bring up every occurrence of homosexuality in her wake. She just called me to ask if I know of "Glee", and I understand she doesn't know it plagues my Facebook as a group someone's joined or that I'm completely envious of every time I see someone on stage or in front of a camera when I wish so hard it was me. How fierce a slap in the face it is to see others enjoy the craft so much I've yet to foster into a lucrative career.

It's one of the things I can't wait to revel in when I move out. Although she'll undoubtedly call me with everything gay then. I'm obviously no homophobe, but I just don't think it should be the most compelling theme to our relationship. That hurts along with people who feel they have to be careful around me with saying significant other instead of girlfriend or boyfriend. hehe Or how it makes me laugh if they ask, "You have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?" In a series of questions (sorry for the incomplete sentence :-P).

I culminate the feeling of neglect when I don't get recognized for the amazing potential I have as a(n) actor/singer. Well, I suppose it's time for dinner.

(Thank you Mrs. Glawe for telling me I'm at the tip of the iceberg to my potential my senior year. It's the only true, honest, selfless praise I've ever felt that I can remember)

That sounds like a really good idea at the moment. OK, now that's done! It was really hot in my room. I'm thinking about reading Striptease, if it's still on the steps to my parent's room. Wow I just realized that their room is practically the same from our old house. No door, and their room is the second floor. Oh, and if anyone was curious about why I'm so easy on some of the questions is because I take the word 'consider' lightly. 

I'm feeling a terrible funk. There's so many things that I want to say and voice but nobody that I want to hear or listen to them. It's probably just not the right people. Certainly not anyone geographically accessible. I wish I could talk to someone, but I worry it'd be a bother and too much of a chore. I suppose I should really say what I'm thinking as I despise talking in generalities. I am sick of people thinking that everyone wants to hear what they think or even pretend to. I hate social networking; it feels like social downfall. It makes me feel like everyone's problems are so insignificant, trivial, and superficial. Almost like no one really knows all that I know. I can't really say what, but only that I understand it.

 

I could always be rational and say that I'm just sleep deprived or off balance from staying up until 5am this morning before I went to bed when I'd been going to bed before midnight for a while now. Or the very real possibility that I'm getting cabin/inhabitant fever. I just feel like it's casting off what I really need to declare. It's comforting to know that there's the very plausible event that no one will read this as I find my mind tumultuous and torrential.

 

I wish I knew what people intended of me.

 

I tried to listen to my own music a bit ago and I didn't care for it either. So I went with my instrumental station on Pandora. It scares me to the point of paralysis thinking that I'm not going to amount to or do anything. Like I've already critically made the mistakes I shouldn't have. I keep thinking my ex doesn't have any baring on my overall being, that he was crazy and off his meds but I feel that would be denying the information that's been given.

 

The idea of a relationship with me a lot of times seems like it would be parasitic to the other side. Like I'm no good, and these are horrible things to post on a dating site! In the least though I'm showing one side, one page, or like a very possible love once determined, one picture.

 

I should eat though since the last time I think I did was about 6 or so hours ago, a square of diabetic brownies I made. It's got crushed Oreo's in the icing, then again on top of the icing. I feel so tired though. Munch, then nom!

I hope all my journal entries aren't Gnarls Barkley song titles. If so, I suppose that's not the worst thing in the world. Oh, the reason I wanted to post: it seems that the more questions I answer the less people are compatible with me! FREAKY! I suppose it's kinda like making a big wall of Legos and someone else's wall isn't going to match yours because you've got so many Lego's in your wall. hahahah nonsensical analogies!!! Suck it dry!

Eeep...my last journal was FOREVER ago! haha. Umm..I'm about to watch season 2 of X-Men the animated series. I really hope the next relationship I have with a guy isn't one where he's more fem than me. The overtly feminine characteristics seem blatantly obvious and even if it's not intentional it's still intentionally trained. Sometimes it feels like it's hard to keep up with the world.

Maybe the world of X-Men will help me cope! XD