Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." -- Yogi Berra
I navigate as best I can by Yogi Berra's thought, "You can see a
lot by just looking." Paying attention to you, to what moves you,
and me, is my aim in every interaction. There's nothing more
challenging that I know. If I knew who I was, it would be obvious.
"First, know yourself" is easy to say. What I am is civilized,
literate, widely traveled professional, culturally Jewish,
spiritually eclectic, idiosyncratically left wing, an intellectual,
but not a snob. I like to think I'm a gentleman. I'm sexually
_extremely_ adventurous, kinky, and quite dominant in a low-key
sort of way. See answers to questions for more details.
I'm not monogamous*, not jealous or possessive. I'm in an open
relationship with a wonderful women, but I think that love, like
knowledge, is enhanced, not diminished, by sharing. Time is
limited, but if we are right for each other, we will make time. I
pay attention to whoever I'm with. I'm looking for friends as well
as partners: if you're smart, fast, funny, slightly twisted, and we
share interests, we can just enjoy each other's company or see if
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Constructing and taking apart complicated arguments. Telling jokes
with a dry sense of humor. Procrastinating. Learning new things.
Shopping (unfortunately I do like to shop). My work.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I decided to ask _them_. A woman I'd never met in person until a
while ago said her first impression of me was that I was worldly,
stylish, reserved, intriguing accommodating, absent-minded,
measured, and a flaneur (a stroller of urban boulevards in search
of erotic or other adventure). A male friend I've known for a while
said I present as stylish, intelligent, and pleasant. A former
acquaintance said that I have have style in an old-fashioned,
new-fangled sort of way. There's a common thread running through
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A gay friend once remarked,"You love musical theater and opera and
care about dressing well. Are you sure you're straight?" (Yes, I'm
sure.) I also love classic jazz, blues, and movies. I would rather
read mysteries or history or argue politics than watch the game.
You can probably guess my favorite musical artist. I like the
outdoors, especially if it's the Upper West Side. (Though I've
often enjoyed tent camping vacations in places with trees.) My idea
of a perfect evening is dinner and a show in New York City in the
autumn, ending with a late night that is exquisitely sensual, and
perhaps delightfully painful for somebody, and maybe dim sum in
Chinatown in the morning. I'd teleport to Florence in, er, a New
York minute. I presently live in Chicago.
I still have way too much stuff but I prefer people and travel,
ideally travel with people, to possessions. I don't smoke or use
drugs, drink only moderately, avoid excess caffeine, and mostly eat
vegetarian. It's not important to me that a partner or friend share
(very many) of my nonstandard preferences, but if you think that
the Tea Party is really cool, think that arming teachers is a good
response to school shootings, and think it's just fine that six
Wal*Mart heirs have more wealth than the bottom 41.5% of the
population, or suspect that my tastes really might mean I'm gay (I
really can't claim the honor), we'd have some uphill sledding.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My family (kids, grandkid, sisters, in-laws,), sex, hope (the last
thing left in the box), high-end leather, Katz's Deli on the Lower
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
See item two above. (That's only partially a joke.) What can be
done about the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. How I
can accept myself as I am _and_ be a better person. My work. What
I'm going to do over the medium run
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
These days I don't have too many typical Fridays.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you look at my answers to some of the questions you can draw
appropriate inferences. The short version off any of the answers
are actually in this profile out for all to see.
(Some of my answers, not those I refer to here, are out-of-date and
reflect former life circumstances. I change these as I find them,
but I've answered a lot of questions. And no doubt when I've
changed them my life will be different again.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are an intelligent erotically adventurous, open-minded woman
with at least some potential interest in kink from a submissive
side, and are not possessive or jealous. Or if you just think that
someone as peculiar as I am might make an interesting friend. You
should have brains, wit, style, maturity --whatever your age--
stability, self-sufficiency, honesty, curiosity -- and are someone
with enough interest and patience to read all this.
We all have baggage: ours ought to be at least reasonably
interesting to the other. Yours should not contain serious
substance abuse, debilitating psychological problems, or, if we're
to be partners, STDs. Mine doesn't involve any of these, despite
the usual complement of interesting issues one picks up in
For me, friendship is first. I'm interested in relationships that
involve _relationships_, not just physical contact. And in fact in
relationships that are fun and interesting whether or not they
involve physical contact. We can see what develops -- or just enjoy
the play. I'm creative if you're patient; there are lots of ways to
do things, and who's in a hurry?
(about gays but generally applicable)
Who are you looking for?
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