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jaclyncorndog

22 Davis, CA Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Jul 24
Orientation
Bisexual
Height
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from high school
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen (and those outside the gender binary). My name is Jaclyn. I'm a stand up comic but I mostly just work at a chain restaurant. I perform in and around Sacramento and the Bay Area and it is fun but not as cool as it sounds (or exactly as cool, depending on how unimpressed with stand up comedy you are) Sometimes I wear glasses. I smell nice.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
-stand-up comedy

-snacks
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making baked goods, eating baked goods until I hate myself, being on the internet too long, winged eyeliner, being wildly unorganized despite being a ~*~total virgo~*~, puns, doodling, writing, letting you know when you're being a dick
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my sparkling personality
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by David Sedaris

Movies: Ghost World, SLC Punk, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Boys Don't Cry, But I'm a Cheerleader, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, The Craft, Girl Interrupted, Kids, Microcosmos

TV: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Adventure Time, Venture Bros, Louie, Freaks and Geeks, 30 Rock, Community, Arrested Development, MST3K, Bob's Burgers, Parks and Recreation, Girls, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dead Like Me, Anything with Gordon Ramsay

Music: Animal Collective, Death From Above 1979, Islands, The Unicorns, Neutral Milk Hotel, Gogol Bordello, The Mountain Goats, Weird Al, Tom Waits, Chance the Rapper, of Montreal, Die Antwoord, Fugazi, Gravy Train!!!!, Pixies, The Avett Brothers, Okkervil River, Azealia Banks, Nicki Minaj (if you think less of me for loving her it's not gonna work out)

Food: all of it
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my six steve buscemi love dolls
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
which trader joe's frozen dinner i'll prepare next
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Telling jokes or watching other people tell jokes.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I take it really personally if you delete me on facebook.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are smart and interesting and open-minded and you wanna talk about like feminism and stuff (don't bother messaging if you just rolled your eyes)

or if you're jason segel when he was 18

I won't message you back if you're a low match percentage or if all you have to say is "hey", because I'm a huge bitch. Also not interested in couples but fully support them in all their endeavors. If you're married and looking for something "discreet" you're a scumbag. If not, you're fabulous, keep up the good work, beautiful!