Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


33 Gaithersburg, MD Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
May 26
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Strictly other
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was born and raised in the DC-metro area and spent most of my formative years as a musician. I drifted off to college and realized that music was not my passion, just more of a hobby. I'm an only-slightly-abashed culture nerd who consumes books, music, moving name it...voraciously. I am fair-minded, loyal and love meeting new people.

ENFP for those who care about the Myer's-Briggs.

Most of all, I'm looking for adventure and some amazing people with whom to share it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making money indiscriminately so I can write.

By night, I indulge in my passion to create art.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

I'm also pretty good at cooking, making music, singing high tenor notes like an angel, producing plays on a shoe-string budget, writing, waging the war on Christmas, finding a healthy balance between taking myself too seriously and not seriously enough, being a best man.

But mostly Qbert.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told on many occasions that I have an irrepressible ebullience and an indomitable joie de vivre.

But I think it's my ass. For sure.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors: Norman Mailer, Ernest Hemingway, Joseph Conrad, Graham Greene, Junot Diaz, Dan Simmons, Flannery O'Connor, Charles Bukowski, Elizabeth Stroud, Anne Fadiman, Sloane Crosley, Chuck Klosterman, William Styron, Nikolai Gogol

Movies: Rosemary's Baby, Hannah And Her Sisters, Wet Hot American Summer, Wanderlust, Doctor Zhivago, The Artist, City Lights, Army of Shadows, In the Mood for Love, The Silence of the Lambs, Hot Rod, Cries and Whispers, Chinatown, The Godfather, In Bruges, Brief Encounter, Fargo, My Neighbor Totoro, Bringing Up Baby, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Michael Clayton, I love LONG movies

Shows: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Workaholics, Homeland, The Good Wife, Boardwalk Empire, Parks and Recreation, Key and Peele, Eastbound & Down, Peep Show, Spaced, Girls, MI:5, Law & Order: SVU, The New Girl, True Detective, Girls, Trophy Wife, Brooklyn 99, Broad City

Music: anything and everything

Food: Vietnamese, sushi, I'm a sucker for a great pizza, Thai, anything that came from the ocean, mangos, walnuts, greek yogurt

Opinions: I think Nabokov probably woke up in cold sweats knowing he'd never be as good as Gogol or Tolsty. I love little moments in film where you can tell an actor is going to win an Oscar someday. Like the scene in Cold Mountain with Natalie Portman. Or Jessica Chastain in Tree of Life. I love both musicians, but if I had to choose one, I'd pick Prince over Michael Jackson every contest. I can't imagine a world in which Kurt Cobain lived past the mid-90s. I think drugs destroyed Mitch Hedburg; he could have been way funnier if he wasn't stoned all the time. No show should ever last longer than 6 seasons. If Homicide was on now, it'd be every bit as popular and acclaimed as The Wire or Breaking Bad. After reading the first 180 pages of The Great Gatsby, I'm convinced that someone other than Scott Fitzgerald wrote those gorgeous final 25-30 pages.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I think we can all live without most things.
Here's six non-essential things I'd prefer to not live without.

1) a creative outlet (borders on being essential)
2) my tablet
3) my car
4) my favorite culinary indulgences (mangoes/diver scallops/old fashioned donuts/tacos)
5) a comfortable bed
6) movie theaters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Puns. It's mostly just horrible puns. All day long.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Just like everybody else, my Friday nights are either spent out with friends or in with Netflix. I am happy either way. Anything that helps me unwind from the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never played Qbert once in my entire life.

I was made on equipment shared with wheat, milk, eggs, soy and tree nuts. So...beware.

I was mistakenly sprayed with pepper spray outside of the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam when I was 15. I don't wish that one anybody, but I'll be damned if seeing The Night Watch wasn't worth every agonizing second.

Also...and this is the real embarrassing one...I love snapchat. It has made my friendships so much more silly and fun. Sorry not sorry.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Message me if you promise never to spray me with pepper spray if we're in Amsterdam.

Ultimately, I am who I am and if you dig that, let's talk. I'm the weirdo who, when he checks the "new friends" box above, really IS looking for new friends. So if you think we'd click on some level, be it romantic or sexual or platonic, give me a message. I'd love to hear from you.