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41 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs

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My self-summary
I am not sure how to describe myself because so often what we think of ourselves can stand in at least partial contrast to how others view us. That said, I like to think I am a mix of my loving, fun, relatively drama-free upbringing and the the wisdom and experience of an adult life marked by hard work, love, loss, despair, hope, and the elusive search for a perfect balance. No small task, I know, but worth looking for.

I love conversation and the exchange of ideas, thoughts, and laughter, hopefully on a wide range of topics, and find that as a pathway to real connection. I like meeting people with a point of view that can change my mind and with experiences from their life to share. I know how I got 'here' and I am constantly curious about how others have arrived where they are and where they want to go next.

More and more I am inspired by the hope of building something unique and wonderful with someone. After a few years of not thinking long-term I now find myself hoping to find that elusive partner that can be a blend of so many things.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm trying my best to simply LIVE life. This includes being utterly human and accepting all the joys and stress that come with it, and seeking out both answers and new questions to pretty much everything.

I am also embracing my independence and new possibilities after exiting a very long relationship about 3 years ago. I've learned a great deal from the introspection and new experiences that have followed and I hope whoever I meet next will have a similar balance between independence and togetherness, and be in a place where they're open to a positive connection.

I take my professional life seriously and feel blessed to enjoy it the majority of the time, but ultimately I work so that I can live and not the other way around. Oh, and my job is pretty damn cool and a bit unique. Get to know me and I'll be happy to tell you why. (Note: I am not a spy. It's not that cool!)

I love new things and establishing new routines and finding varied forms of activity. I regularly exercise via cardio, weights, and especially swimming but would love to get outdoors more and find workout 'subs' like a few hours roller or ice skating, a long hike, etc.
I’m really good at
- Making mix CDs. Seriously. I've embraced this as a truly geeky art form. They're like letters and notes with help from 'friends'.

- Storytelling. Across a table, in written form, and, over the past year or so, live on stage. I've had the chance to tell stories to hundreds of strangers [via The Moth story slams, Back Fence PDX] and it's an amazing experience that I hope to do more of in the future. It's becoming my 'other' career (I hope!).

- At being a parent to my two teenage sons who live with me 1/2 time (week on, week off). They are amazing young men so they actually make it relatively easy.

- I am pretty damn sure I can beat you at Scrabble or Words (on FB, if we eventually become friends).
The first things people usually notice about me
The thing people notice is that I am very talkative and expressive, that I say what's on my mind, and that I can go from "kinda shy" to "will not shut up" very fast.

I am also very heart-on-my-sleeve and that has a vulnerability to it for sure but it beats the alternative.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite book of all time is "To Kill a Mockingbird". On the more contemporary side I love pretty much everything Nick Hornby, Jonathan Tropper, Douglas Coupland and Tom Perrotta have ever written, and Rob Sheffield's two fantastic memoirs, "Love Is a Mix Tape" and "Talking To Girls About Duran Duran".

TV: "Mad Men", "Orange Is The New Black" and "Arrow" are current shows I like. I don't watch as much TV as I used to but in the Netflix age I like the occasional joy of discovering a series I didn't see during it's initial run.

I only watch one sport regularly: Hockey (NHL and locally WHL), and I do love it, but I am not obsessive over it and while I would love to take a date to a Winterhawks game I don't think every interest has to be shared. I also never turn down a Timbers, Blazers, etc. invite for a live event.

I absolutely love music recorded and live, and have wildly eclectic tastes, ranging from shameless guilty pleasures to contemporary stuff. Love The Replacements, Gaslight Anthem, Brandi Carlile, Lana Del Ray, Dylan, Butch Walker, Pink, Emilie Sande, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, Chvrches, and countless others. If it can set a mood or has lyrics that speak to me I'm in.

On the other spectrum of audio I love The Moth, Radio Lab, This American Life, Q, and Fresh Air.

Movies: "It's a Wonderful Life", "Love, Actually","This Is Spinal Tap", "Dan In Real Life", the Bourne triology, "Finding Nemo" (and pretty much everything Pixar has done), "Goodnight and Good Luck", "Hamlet 2", "Point Break" (yeah, I said it), and far too many others to list. In the past year "Mud", "Kings of Summer", and "The Way Way Back" really impressed me.

Food: Really good pizza, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Indian, sushi, good soups and salads, good BBQ, good vegan... no known allergies so anything is worth a try.
The six things I could never do without
1. My sons and family
2. Coffee/Tea
3. My friends
4. Music
5. Water (to drink and to swim in and as vital ingredient to #2)
6. Radio (LL Cool J said "I can't live without my radio" and I agree!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How John Cusack sorta "ruined me"... this is a theme that runs through my writing and live storytelling.

Why we want to put everything in a box when it's so much more fun to scatter the pieces and see how they fit on a wider canvas?

If Lumosity games really are improving my brain or if I am just getting better at silly Lumosity games?

If my sons are doing okay and how I can make things better for them while still respecting their burgeoning independence and new experiences. And what new thing to cook for them!
On a typical Friday night I am
It varies according to my schedule with my sons. So it could be anything from watching a movie at home to playing games or just being a taxi for my boys. On my own I could be out with friends, seeing live music or a movie, doing something active like dancing or skating... or whatever someone suggests. "New" tends to be very appealing to me.

I also like "meaningless competition": Bowling, pool, bar games, trivia, Scrabble, etc and anything that is social and active at the same time, like roller or ice skating or dancing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I saw Richard Marx in concert when I was in high school. His opening was Wilson-Phillips. Many who saw that show are now in witness protection.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 34–46
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you find any of the above interesting or want to get to know a new person.

If you like great conversation and can find humor in even the smallest things.

If you think you can beat me at Scrabble, pool, or anything else one can be 'ridiculously competitive' at.

If you like to see 'live' things, like music or science lectures, storytellers, comics, or anything that awakens the senses.

If you can define, at least to some degree, what you hope to find in the short and the long term. We're all in different 'places' but clarity and communication are very attractive.