jake_wolf
27 Portland, OR
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jake_wolf
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My self-summary
Why?

PROS:
- Employed
- Doesn't smell
- Has a car
- Knows left from right
- >_>

CONS:
*cracks fingers*
- Can't do cart-wheels or handstands
- Horrible at trivia
- Doesn't drink coffee
- Will give you a horrible nick-name
- Has been known to say "hella" and "gnarly" on occasion
- Doesn't have a beard
- Doesn't have a dog :(
- Can't whistle
... you get the idea

I will keep this updated to the best of my abilities.
What I’m doing with my life
Looking for a desk on craigslist. I'm looking for a big desk with lots of room for activities, Solid so I can stand on it and ideally for $100 or less. Have any leads?

EDIT: I now have a desk.

Looking for a couch now as well as a bookshelf, kitchen table, chairs... basically everything HALP
I’m really good at
Eating, sleeping in... yah that's probably it.
The first things people usually notice about me
My aura.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Searching every crevice imaginable for more TJ Miller standup.

Thai food
Bahn Mi
Burritos AND Tacos
Korean BBQ
Indian food
Pizza
AND SO MUCH MORE
The six things I could never do without
Laughter! That's what I would bring if I were on Naked and Afraid. That and a spear.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
"Is it lunch time yet?" "Where are we going for lunch?"
On a typical Friday night I am
Fighting crime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm really just on here to try and find people to take care of my kids, I have 100 of them (I believe... at this point it's hard to count) and it's just getting out of control. Just about all of them refuse to work on my farm... which was the whole reason I got them all in the first place. MY LIFE IS SUCH A MESS!
You should message me if
You are a seasoned child herder... bonus points if you have a cattle dog we can share the responsibilities with. BONUSBONUS points if it's an Australian shepherd!
More