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jalup

31 M Baton Rouge, LA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 18
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
0′ 1″ (0.03m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of high school
Job
Construction
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid, and might want more
Pets
Speaks
English (Okay)

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My self-summary
On April 30th, 1945, Adolf Hitler found himself at the pearly gates, only to find that they weren't  so pearly. It was actually an electric fence with a big sign that read "NO FAGS ALLOWED".  Hitler chuckled to himself. As the gates opened, a magnificent voice came from the megaphone saying  "WELCOME TO BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER LAND". Hitler was finally home.
Machine guns, hand grenades, army tanks, fighter jets, atomic bombs, and beautiful naked women were everywhere.
"Have a seat" God said. As Hitler did as God commanded him, a nude Marilyn Monroe served him a drink. Lemonade. God began to explain how the three fundamentalisms on planet earth had it all wrong. There was no heaven, no hell, and God couldn't give a rat's ass about good behavior. There was only "Bad ass mother fucker land" and "Pansy Land".
Okay. Before I continue the story, I have to explain a few things. For every minute that passes in BAMFL, one year passes on planet earth. and  this was Hitler's eighth minute. Which would mean that it was March 5, 1953 on planet Earth.
As Beethoven began to play the "Moonlight Sonata" (usually fags weren't allowed, but every once in a while God would make an exception for a true genius) "Hello old friend, it's been a very long time" interrupted Joseph Stalin. "Not long enough" Hitler replied. "Actually, you're just in time" God said.
What I’m doing with my life
Looking for a new job.
I’m really good at
Nothing that comes to mind.
The first things people usually notice about me
My beautiful green eyes, and my extremely muscular body.
The six things I could never do without
I'm doing without a lot of things that I thought t could never do without, and I'm doing just fine.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not a nazi, I don't like Hitler, Nor Uncle Joe, and I hope no one took that crap I wrote at the top seriously. Oh yea, and if instead of heaven, and hell, there were only "Bad Ass Mother Fucker Land" and "Pansy Land", I'd end up in "Pansy Land".
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–99
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You'd like to write a second chapter to BAMFL.