I'm 40 years old, and the phrase "man-child" was coined for someone exactly like me. Actually, I take that back -- the phrase "child" was coined for someone exactly like me. I pride myself on development that's arrested like a recidivist, a personality that's stuck somewhere around 13 in a body that's stuck somewhere around 106. I'm a hopeless romantic, yet cynical and jaded and despairing of true love. I'm incredibly intelligent, yet painfully stupid about the simplest things, like walking without tripping, and blinking. I'm relentlessly logical, yet highly emotional. I'm politically conservative, yet personally liberal. I put an ad up on OkCupid, yet I look down on people who put up ads on OkCupid.

All of which is to say: Run.

New James: Most of the above is still true, but I have recently begun to examine my life and found it...seriously wanting. Anger and bitterness and self-reproach will only take you so far, and after that...well, let's not talk about what comes after that. Let's instead focus on the positive, e.g., I'm a hell of a nice guy who has treated myself far less kindly than I have treated the people around me. But I'm working on me, and while I'm not a finished product, neither is anyone else. I'm happier, healthier, stronger, and better. I'm also now 42.

Less than I'd like. More than some. Not as much as others. What, like you're so perfect?

New James: My goal in life is to make a living as a writer. I've been chasing this dream since I was five years old. At times I've despaired, but what I've realized of late is that I can't control the rest of the world: I can only control me. So I write, and I show it to the universe, and if the universe says, We'll pay you for this, then I'll make a living as a writer. If not, I'll make a living as something else. But I will always write.

Writing. Watching TV. Playing softball. Reading. Discussing politics. Burying body parts. Making excuses to law enforcement. Getting time off for good behavior. Avoiding manhunts. Pleading my case before a jury of my peers. Theatrics. Hysterics. Threats, jibes, taunts. The usual gay stuff.

New James: If I'm honest with myself (and with you, OkCupid profile-peruser) then my habit is to spend about 99% of my time either reading, writing, playing video games, watching TV or a film/DVD, or messing around on the Internet. I am attempting to develop a more active and social lifestyle, but I'm also attempting to accept myself for who I am -- and who I am is a person who enjoys reading, writing, playing video games, watching TV or a film/DVD, and messing around on the Internet.

My eyes. Then they see the face around the eyes and everything changes.

New James: I'm not the best-looking guy on the planet. Nor am I worst. I have my beautiful parts and I have my ugly parts. Like everyone else. Beauty, and attraction, are in the eyes of the beholder; and there is no accounting for taste.

Writers: Bill Styron, George MacDonald Fraser, John Fowles, Terry Pratchett, P.G. Wodehouse
Movies: Ikiru, Three Colors Trilogy, The Third Man, Citizen Kane, Shawshank Redemption, most things by Mr. Woody Allen
Music: Sinatra, Paul Simon, Glen Campbell, John Williams, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven
Food: Men

New James: Nothing much has changed here; I like to think of myself as equally informed/educated about pop culture and, for lack of a better phrase, higher culture. I can't say I watch Real Housewives or Top Chef religiously, but that doesn't mean I don't go to church once in a while.

I should say that I am quite a film buff (if I really wanted to be pretentious I'd have written "cinema") and enjoy movies of whatever style, from whatever era. One of my writing sub-aspirations is to be a filmmaker. My favorite among recent viewings is "The Secret In Their Eyes," from Argentina.

And, in the past year or so I've begun to immerse myself (so to speak) into Shakespeare. Any other OkCupidians who are fellow Bardolators?

Too, I'm a big Giants fan. Though I don't get out to the park as often as I'd like.

Books.
Books.
Books.
Books.
Books.
Books.

New James: I now have a Kindle. I'll burn in Booklover's Hell, I know, but damn, the thing is so convenient...

And of course there are things other than books I could never do without. But having something to read is to me what that blanket is to Linus.

Why gay men are so screwed up. Why I'm gay. By the transitive property, therefore, why I'm so screwed up.

New James: Not so screwed up, I'm realizing, as just desperate to think of myself as screwed up, because that way I didn't have to take responsibility for the person I had become. Everybody everywhere has their issues, and I'm no exception. But I defy you to find a human problem which can't be solved by understanding, tolerance, and patience.

I'm also deeply interested in politics, though my politics are not those of any other gay man I've ever come across -- I'm a lifelong Republican, though really more of a libertarian than anything else. Low taxes, small government, leave the social issues alone. But I do generally vote Republican. Every significant other I've had has been far to the other end of the political spectrum, and though I like to think these things shouldn't matter, they always end up doing so...not so much from my end as from theirs. So, fair warning. The consensus among my friends and ex's is that I'd do better with another Log Cabinite. I myself enjoy a good back-and-forth, and don't generally take it personally, but it would probably be nice from time to time to hear the other person say, "You know, you've got a point about that flat tax, James."

Reading a book with my eyes about why I'm so screwed up and doing less with my life than I'd like.

New James: On a typical Friday night I'm reading, writing, playing Star Wars Old Republic or some other video game...maybe catching a movie...right now I can't say I have a typical Friday night, as I'm in the process of expanding my circle of friends, acquaintances, casual sex partners, and lifelong loves.

(Just kidding about the casual sex. And as for lifelong loves, I'm just trying to be happy being me, and having friends, and taking my time, and seeing where the world takes me. I've always tended to leap headlong into relationships without first establishing a friendship, which is a sure road to heartache. I'm looking for connections that lead to friendships, not The One.)

I'm terrible in the sack. Seriously, if you put me inside a sack, I will not react well.

New James: What a rotten joke that was. Anyway, the most private thing I'm willing to admit is that I'm a work-in-progress who's only beginning the journey. Old James still makes frequent appearances.

ya wanna.

New James: If you feel we have enough in common to forge a genuine friendship.

But if you're a politically conservative Asian who enjoys Shakespeare, "Lost," Kurosawa films, MST3K, and who knows that a sac fly doesn't count as an at-bat, then consider this a proposal of marriage.