Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

jamesmerenda

28 Oakland, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • All who like bi men
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 20
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Aries
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Arabic (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I moved to Oakland from Brooklyn in March of this year. While I miss home, I've found some lovely people & places that keep me interested in spending a couple of years or more out in the Bay.

I like to create. My imagination sometimes interferes with my daily life, and I don't mind that at all. I think of myself as a progressive person who struggles with how privilege manifests itself in my life, and would love to be called on my shit.

A few identifiers: queer, polyamorous, feminist, pro-kink (switch, still learning), sex-positive, cis-male. I'm nerdy and a secret introvert. I like people & social situations, but I want to recharge alone.

I am a poet & playwright. Planning to be in an MFA program for one of those two subjects in the next year or two.

I was a vegetarian for between 4 years, before I was informed I had a B12 deficiency, and had to start adding some meat to my diet. So I'm figuring that out.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I was in the non-profit world for four years back East, while also trying to figure out how to actively engage in being an artist without starving or going mad. I am very interested in the artist/activist paradigm and how art, or love, or politics work with each other.

Also, I'm picking up random skills like carpentry and locksmithing so when the zombie apocalypse arrives, I am useful to my survival party.

I recently got a wonderful job at a non-profit children/family services agency in Berkeley, after 9 months of unemployment. I feel super relieved to be working again, and grateful to have found a good cause to pursue with some fantastic colleagues.

Now that I'm employed, I'm starting to look into getting my own place in the near future. I'm currently living in a loft space in an apartment with my most recent ex-partner (separate bedrooms, thankfully. yay poly!), two friends, two cats and two dogs. It's a great spot, but I feel like I'm building my life back up from scratch, so a new place feels necessary.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening. Giving unbiased advice when it's requested. Easing tense situations. Being ridiculous. Making fun of myself. Crisis situations. Writing. Handling my shit. Intersectionality.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Physically, my eyes, my smile, or my beard (for better or worse). Otherwise, that I am very welcoming.

Alternatively, that my hair is full of secrets. Yes, I just did that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I keep a really large poetry collection. Some contemporary favorites are Marie Howe, Li-Young Lee, Richard Siken, Keetje Kuipers, Yusef Komunyakaa, Mary Oliver, Robert Haas, Aracelis Girmay, Traci Brimhall, Patricia Smith, Patrick Rosal, Sharon Olds, Saeed Jones. I read Bluets by Maggie Nelson for the first time this year and could not look away. If we start talking about poetry I will find a way to bring her up.
Fiction: Neil Gaiman, George R.R. Martin, Haruki Murakami, James Baldwin, Junot Diaz
Jonah Lehrer. Other books by people who appear on RadioLab.
Siddhartha by Herman Heese.
Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks.
Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.
Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins
Leaving the Atocha Station by Ben Lerner

If I listed every movie or musician I enjoyed, this would take forever. I'll say that Tom Waits is important to me. No Doubt was one of my favorite bands as a child, and I still think Tragic Kingdom is a fantastic album. Bikini Kill. Radiohead. The Roots. Jimi Hendrix. Yasiin Bey (Mos Def). Frank Ocean. Janelle Monae. Neutral Milk Hotel. Kendrick Lamar. Beyonce. Ingrid Michaelson. Kimbra. Lately spinning Flying Lotus.

Firefly and The Wire are probably my two favorite TV shows. Been revisiting The West Wing of late. Seasons 1-3, 5 of Community. I'm really liking How to Get Away with Murder so far. Brooklyn Nine-Nine grew on me

If you introduce me to something/someone new that I end up loving, we'll be great friends.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A Notebook
Music / Talk Radio
Poetry / A Novel
An LED Flashlight
Roof Access
A flash drive
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My friends, lovers, and partners, and the many cities they occupy. How to affect change around me. How to be good to others but not at the expense of being good to myself.

Anti-Racism. Social Change. The status quo. Privilege. Sexual politics.

How much I hate gentrification but how I am at least somewhat complicit in it by living in the neighborhoods I can afford, previously in Brooklyn, and now in Oakland.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
It really depends on the week I've had. Drinks with friends sometimes, add in board games sometimes. Sometimes blankets/pillows/netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I fall asleep in public more often than is probably advisable. I'm also less worried about this than I probably should be.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've ever read a poem that changed something for you.

You're poly or poly-friendly. I'm going to need to stress this. I'm sure you're outstanding, but I am not interested in monogamous situations. If you want to talk as friends, let me know, though.

You are uncomfortable with gender binary and heteronormativity and want to discuss while at a dog run watching puppies be adorable.

You like a person who can talk theatre, and talk sports. Queer theory and comfort food. Systemic oppression and twenty-sided dice.