Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

jamisontb185

29 M Sunnyvale, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:07pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on two-year college
Job
Student
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
DISCLAIMER: As if my profile wasn't long enough to begin with...I'm pretty much over online dating and almost over dating in general. I have a bunch of things in my life that are in dire need of attention, and dating is not exactly on the front burner for me right now. I'm keeping my profile up in the off chance there is someone out there who is really REALLY cool with that. The strongest relationships are built when you grow together, right?
Now back to your regularly scheduled program

Greetings! Hark, and take heed! For beneath this admittedly unimaginitive handle lies intrigue and excitement most profound! If I have caught your attention, I implore you, then, to venture forth...

I'm going to break the norm here and start with the fact that I am NOT an easy going person. I'm passionate, hyperactive, and multi-demensional. I use a lot of analogies and metaphor in my daily speech. I can be very goofy and a bit brash sometimes, borderline Monty Python silly ("dork" is a common adjective for me) but I can still wax poetic, and throw down some deep philosophical thought too, while still being laced with the word "motherfucker" and all other manner of vulgarities.

Nonsensical exaggeration, vicious sarcasm and high and low brow toilet humor are staples of my sense of humor, punctuated by absolute sincerity and occasional obliviousness. Basically, I'm kind of an asshole, but in a nice way.

I am just as comfortable in a suit and tie as I am in a pair of torn up jeans and an oil-stained tee shirt. I'm also goddamn polite- I hold doors for people, say please and thank you, and I chew with my mouth closed.

ENFJ

In a nutshell, I'm fucking weird, but I'm pretty awesome.

I still write in cursive, and I get compliments on my handwriting.

I love food. No, really. I LOVE food. I cannot stress that enough. If you cook for me, or even give me some food, I will be eternally grateful, possibly even your best friend. I will honestly eat pretty much anything, kind of like the French.

I'm a dyed in the wool beer nerd, and I know more about it than 90% of the people out there. Probably including you. Unless you're Greg Koch. Are you Greg Koch? If so, come love me you magnificent, cocky bastard.

Oh yeah, I've also been described as straight but not narrow. I joke about sexuality a lot. I also like whiskey (particularly rye) and tequila a whole lot and again probably know more about it than you're interested in hearing about.

While were on the subject of nerds, I happened to be a gigantic one, in case that wasn't bludgeon-you-over-the-head-with-my-plus-two-mace obvious. I watch anime and play video games, and can work my way around a Linux distro. I'm also not the kind to sit alone in the dark on a Saturday with nothing but World of Warcraft and Mountain Dew for company. Hello? McFly? There is such a thing as "having a life" and "going outside" after all!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working too damn much! Also, teaching myself all about malts, hops, yeasts and other brewing essentials.
Going to school for finance, which I am channeling into starting a business (see above.) I want to be very successful, financially, professionally and socially, and I believe I have a good game plan for getting there.
In the meantime, I sling fancy pants craft beer at unsuspecting victims. Don't get me started.
Also I strive to better myself in as many ways as I can. I have my introspective moments, so I do quite a bit of soul searching.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing guitar and cooking. Better at the first than the second, but I have a few aces up my sleeve...they usually involve dishes that make you gain weight just by looking at them, but still...
Also being generally handy and good at solving problems. Also, never challenge me in Tetris. Ever. You will lose. No, I won't let you win.

Enduring cold temperatures and pain! Hurt me more!

Properly holding different types of glasses and table manners in general (you would think this is a given, but it seems etiquette and good grooming are rare qualities these days!)

I tend to come up with offbeat, witty-ish mantras that serve me quite well. Examples like, "life is too short to drink shitty booze" and "I'll try anything twice" remind me to stay open minded, even in the face of pain or discomfort, and to aim HIGH. Not everything is what it seems on the first go around, and sometimes it takes two or three passes before you "get it" (IPA drinkers will understand!)

I can also do a lot of different kinds of voices and accents. (Profile secret! Tell me what you would want as a superpower, and why!) Some of them have evolved into full blown characters. You'll have to meet me in person to witness those!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fact that I'm not wearing any pants.

Then usually how tall I am, my eyes, and my striking metrosexual good looks ....OK, the height and the eyes...

After I introduce myself, it's hard not to notice that I happen to have the same name as a rather popular Irish whiskey, and every knuckle dragger and mouth breather asks me the obvious question of whether or not I drink it (I have but it's not my favorite.) I've also only seen one other Jamison in person in my entire life (we didn't actually meet. He worked at Safeway and I heard someone call his name. He then ran off, leaving me to dream about what our lives would have been like together, as two Jamisonii...) That's how rare we are!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Some of my favorite books are Farenheit 451, Kitchen Confidential, The God Delusion, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and 1984...I want to read more Ayn Rand sometime soon. Also, love me some Palanhiuk and Sedaris.

For TV shows, I love Mythbusters, Doctor Who, Good Eats, Breaking Bad, anything with Anthony Bourdain, Futurama, Firefly, Dexter, Workaholics, and a few animes (Trigun, Desert Punk, Cowboy Bebop, etc.) I willfully haven't had a cable subscription in years so I mostly rely on Netflix. I also love some YouTube shows like Epic Meal Time, Legend of Neil, AVGN, JonTron, and Continue?

Movies....Honestly? Back to the Future is the best movie ever made. If you don't agree, I will fight you. Princess Bride is a close second.
I also love love love zombie movies (ask me about my zombie plan!) the Blood and Ice Cream movies (Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead and The Worlds End...notice how they are always some reference to Cornetto ice cream cones??) and the Frat Pack movies (Anchorman is endlessly quoteable!) Scott Pilgrim, Pulp Fiction and Jaws are also good.

Music...is a tough question. While I certainly have my favs, it truly depends on the day and my mood. I generally favor hard/classic rock (although I've been getting into bands like Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats lately) I do like hip hop and EDM well. The only genres of music I can truly say I have distaste for are modern country (celebrating being a moronic redneck is not okay!) polka, mariachi and Indian pop music. I have my desert island albums for sure, but other than that I listen to pretty much anything. However, while I am not opposed to others liking different types of music, I will go on record for saying that if you dislike The Beatles and/or Queen, I will assume you are suffering major grey matter malfunctions, and report you to the nearest mental health facility. And no, liking the Stones is not a sufficient excuse

Food is too hard. So I'm going to go with top five favorite candies:
1) Reese's
2) Pomegranate Tootsie Pops (if you haven't had one yet, FIND ONE! Kill if you have to!)
3) Cherry Tootsie Pops
4) Butterfingers
5) Teuscher Champagne Truffles (OMMFGIGTC)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Beer
My favorite electric guitar (the bright red Ibanez if you are interested...I call her The Wife :D)
My iPhone (Siri and I are going to get married someday, much to the chagrin of my The Wife.)
Good peoples to be around
Chucks
Food
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lots of different things....New designs or redesigns for houses or cars or guitars or some random thing that I've come across that is aesthetically or ergonomically offensive in it's current form (hey every artist has those "that's not how I would have done it" moments)

Apart from that, lots of daydreaming about the future...although I try to make that into more of a planning thing so I'm better organized :)

If I ever feel like I'm overwhelmed or discouraged, I look back on the past and think of how far I've come, and how much I would like to look back on this moment and think the same thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Weekends are usually up in the air for me...It depends on what's going on.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am virtually incapable of flattery. To clarify, flattery is telling someone precisely what they already think about themselves. That, to me, is not a compliment. So when I say something nice about someone, I mean it.

Pixar movies make me cry. All of them. Without fail, even Wall-E (they made him too cute! :P) Up? I was absolutely beside myself the entire time. I guess I'm just a big softie inside....

I view a lack of even basic fashion sense as a sign of weakness.

I have Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD, and everyone tells me it doesn't seem like it when they first meet me in person. I've worked very hard to get to that point, and I'm rather proud of it. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but it's definitely something most people with ASD's (Autistic Spectrum Disorders) cannot claim.

I'm slightly pyromanaical.

I find ditziness and ignorance to be highly annoying and/or irritating. If you find this to be cute or funny as a dominant personality trait, then I'm going to assume that either you're trying to manipulate people, or you're a goddamn idiot. Either way, we will NOT get along.

I have a huge obsession with eyewear, even though I don't need scripts myself. I love Oliver Peoples sunglasses, and I think Oakleys/wraparounds show a stark lack of fashion sense (see above.)

If I am saying something important, I really, REALLY don't like being interrupted.

And apparently I'm willing to admit a lot :P
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-If you actually read everything in this monster.

-If you find this even remotely funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5abgDBQHPk

-If you can figure out what OMMFGIGTC means.

-If your IQ is appreciably above room temperature.

Really, you MUST be smart, positive, fun (maybe even a little cheeseball) open minded, have a flair for the dramatic without the drama, communicative, and deep.

And please, for the love of Pete and Pete, be open to a relationship. I'm tired of hearing how broken girls are because 99% of the guys out there are emotionally repressed douchebags.

And yes, I AM in the 1%.

THE COMPLICATED ANSWER: You are down to earth, but not afraid or too jaded to dream big, and are willing and motivated to reach for your goals. Being empathetic is always good, but also know when to kick people in the butt too. I am not very superficial, but I do want to meet someone who takes care of their body and their appearance; self-respect is very sexy (as long as you're not egotistical about it). As I said, I like people who are willing to take a chance and are fun to be around. Please be in touch with your emotions and know how to handle them constructively, and be honest with yourself and others; I like realistic, goal oriented people, who are true to their feelings. Finally, I value the ability to listen and communicate above ALL else, so you need to be able to express your thoughts and feelings constructively and directly, be open to other people as well, and for fucks sake, know how to admit when you're wrong. I prefer people who speak directly and honestly without being rude about it. I guess you can call it being diplomatic :D

YOU SHOULD NOT MESSAGE ME IF: you have less than two pictures, or don't smile in any of them, only posting group pictures without saying where you are in the picture; if "reading" to you doesn't venture too far outside of Cosmo/People/supermarket tabloids, Harry Potter, 50 Shades of Gray or what you're required to do for school or work; if you "tAlK lIeK dI$$$$" or don't know your basic "there/their/they're" (or mix up "patience/patients" or "peaked/piqued"!) At least try to write like you have a brain in your head, and act like your momma taught you some class.

Major brownie points if you are a beer/wine/liquor/coffee/food snob!