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27 • Palo Alto, CA • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 19–36
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends
- Last online
- Dec 11, 2014
- 5′ 3″ (1.60m)
- Body type
- Mostly anything
- Not at all
- Atheism, and laughing about it
- Graduated from university
- Doesn’t have kids
- English (Fluently)
Knows more words than you. Prefers the four-letter ones.
-- dancing, as in waltz, lindy hop, salsa, West Coast swing, blues, fusion...
-- being pedantic
-- being mad at people who are pedantic
-- approaching cats
-- approaching dogs
-- riding bikes (I biked across America once.)
-- reading books
How many five year old children do you think you could take on, if you were unarmed, and an infinite stream of them were coming at you?
I recently drove myself to complete exhaustion by biking up a steep hill. Using the law of conservation of energy, we can calculate how much kindergartener-slaughtering energy I’ve got.
The combined mass of myself and my bike is about 63.5 kilograms.
The elevation gained was about 548.64 meters total.
The earth’s gravitational constant is 9.8 meters per second squared.
Taking the product of these three numbers, we find that the total amount of kinetic energy available to me is 341,418.672 joules.
I was stumped when it came to figuring out how many joules it would take to punch out a small child, but then I had the brilliant idea of consulting my physicist Tiger Father.  He told me in no uncertain terms that it took only 100 joules to the face. 
I am extremely efficient, so let’s assume no loss of energy from friction from the air or inefficiency in my own muscles. Then it’s a simple matter of arithmetic:
3,414 children slain. 
 Is Amy Chua right when she explains “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” in an op/ed in the Wall Street Journal? I’ll give you all the truth you need: NO.
 Apologies for playing fast and loose with the significant figures here.
 I assume this is from extensive empirical verification, since he is such a good scientist and a real paragon of Chinese parenting himself.
 I am so good.
N.B. My physicist brother just pointed out that if I ate my victims, I would replenish my energy and be able to kill infinitely.
-- Twelve Angry Men
-- A Song of Ice and Fire
-- All Creatures Great and Small
-- American Gods
-- The Last Unicorn
-- Jane Eyre
-- Stuff by Joe Abercrombie
-- Unbelievably trashy scifi and fantasy books
-- Seeing like a State
-- Story, by Robert McKee
-- Elements of Style
-- All Art is Propaganda
-- Down and Out in Paris and London
Books I hate:
-- Snow Crash
-- Ender's Game
-- The Fountainhead
-- Lord of the Rings
-- Starship Troopers
You can send me a disbelieving message about my taste in books if you like, but you might run the risk of receiving a copy/paste reply. I shouldn't be surprised but there are a LOT of LOTR/Snow Crash/Ender's Game fans out there.
Well, I like water.
-- My bike, since I don't have a car.
-- My backpack. Very useful since I don't have a car.
-- I can't think of other things. Guess that means I'm a minimalist. This is thoroughly incompatible with the messy reality of my room though.
-- I don't like inequality.
-- Gosh, I am running the risk of looking pretty empty-headed.
-- What else do I think about...hm...
-- I'll get back to you. Or you can message me and I can relate any thoughts that happen to be in my head at that moment.
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