3. Classically educated
4. Can boil pasta water sarcastically
5. Swell as fuck
5.5. Was a slutty car salesman for Halloween
9. No limp
10. Batteries included
11. Dislikes sour cream
12. Attached earlobes
13. Doesn't have an online dating profile
15. Just date me
I'm a sasshole. Sarcastic, sassy, and I have an asshole.
I avoid idioms like no tomorrow.
I give twerking lessons.
Chrome's spellcheck doesn't recognize "twerking" as a word. Or "spellcheck". Maybe I should switch it back to English.
I have many opinions and I'm right about all of them.