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jarheadchad

21 M New Brunswick, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:55pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
It's a trap.

I'm 6'2", AND I dislike yogurt. Try to keep your clothes on.

Honestly, it causes me near-physical pain to browse this website because this is every one of your profiles:

"Hiiiii I'm ______ :) I'm __ years *young* and I'm a free spirit :D Get this, as crazy as it is, I really like to have fun!!! And sometimes I just like to hang out and chill!!! I'm really laid-back, down-to-earth, and funny :) I'm pretty much every positive attribute a human female could have, so why don't you just go ahead and message me? :)"

That's what you all sound like. I wish that was an exaggeration. Yes. We all try to enjoy life here on earth. The definition of fun is that you enjoy it. You can't dislike fun because its existence is predicated upon your perception of it. Saying you're "20 years young" does not make you seem interesting and carefree and joyous or whatever you were going for, it just makes you look like everyone else who is attempting to say the same of themselves: dumb. You're not "down-to-earth" if you think that announcing it is going to convince anyone. Just trying to be down-to-earth with the situation. I'm a realist. But really, that's not to say that we wouldn't get along, because we still might -- especially if your flattering description of yourself is accurate. This all makes me seem very bitter, but I'm really not. This is just my "can she take a joke?" filter.
I’m really good at
Not living in the wilderness.

Bragging about myself on the Internet in order to maximize my appeal.

Celling. And by that I mean that I am a cellist.

Not practicing my cello at all anymore and using that confession as an excuse to never showcase my quickly-fading abilities.

Fragments.

Not giving a fcuk.

Not giving a chainsaw.

Using moderately obscure references and assuming no one will be confused by them.

using big words and stuff so i seem more smart

Coming across as a total douchecruiser.

Being a total douchecruiser.

Creating derogatory terms such as 'douchecruiser'.

Suing people for copyright infringement when they use the word 'douchecruiser' without my permission, because I'm poor.

Being the douchecruiser incarnate.

Sad attempts at self-deprecating humor.

Mediocre attempts at self-referential humor.

Referencing the fact that I have utilized self-referential humor.

Deluding myself into thinking I am clever.

Deriving comfort from the fact that at least I'm probably more clever than you.
The first things people usually notice about me
is just how goddamn classy I am.

Really though.

So classy.

Also my height.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:

Skymall

Movies:

Really introspective art house films, like Super Troopers and Half Baked

Shows:

Da Ali G Show
House Of Cards
South Park
Nathan For You
The Chaser's War on Everything
Robot Chicken
Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job

Music:

Lots of metal, jazz fusion, classical, electronic, and the sound of small children screaming in pain

Food:

The only things I would never willingly eat again are sour cream and human flesh. Other than that, bring it.
The six things I could never do without
nitrogen
oxygen
dihydrogen monoxide
carbon
nutrients
most of my non-vestigial bodily organs

I took that question literally. And that was not the function of the query. I'm honestly unsure why I don't have my own show on Comedy Central by now.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
a world without bummers, man, ya know?
On a typical Friday night I am
meeting people in real interpersonal interactions instead of on the Internet.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
any portion of this unconscionably lengthy and deplorably asinine profile caused you to smirk or exhale sharply out your nose, or if you're willing to elope with me ASAP, my passport is about to expire.