Long profile. If you don't like reading, just hit pass.
- I am use a lot of sarcasm and deadpan humor sprinkled with brutal and often inappropriate truthiness. If you can't handle it, it's likely not going to work out.
- If I don't lead with a comment about your looks or compliment your looks right away, doesn't mean I don't find you attractive if I contact you or reply. I believe that women have more value to offer than just their looks, so it would be a disservice to who you are as a person to be described as cute/pretty/hot/beautiful/sexy, etc. I already know that if we're talking.
About me: I am tall, dark and subjectively handsome. I'm happy about my particular stage in life and career choice/direction. That being said, I would prefer in a partner someone to push me forward instead of holding me back.
I have all my teeth (sans wisdom teeth - turns out they weren't so wise) and am perfectly capable of forming a complete sentence, qualities I hear are rare amongst men in dating sites. Points for me, I suppose. I do know the difference between "where/were/we're/wear," "here/hear," "your/you're/yore," etc:
The word "there" can appear as a pronoun, as in “over there".
"Their" is a possessive pronoun. In a phrase like “Susan and Bill's car,” it could be used to to make a new phrase: “their car.”
”They're” is a contraction of “they are.”
“They are” should always be able to replace “they're.”
I understand the need to shorten words to fit a text message, but save that for twitter or texting.
I'm 6'1, so I generally have a height cap of who I am willing to date that I set at 6'0 if you wear flats. This is only because as an alpha male, I have a primal need to feel like a provider/protector and when a woman wears heels it does make me a bit self-conscious if she is taller than I am. Along the same token, I'm a pretty strong guy, so it is important to me to be able to pick up a woman and carry her without risking injury. Read into that as you may.
Coming Soon:Pictures of me showcasing both my awesome bare chest and selfie skillz (skillz with a z is appropriate here) by taking a shirtless bathroom mirror, hopefully with unflushed toilet in the frame. Also, a picture of me kneeling in front of my car, probably flashing a pseudo gang sign, such as a sideway peace, perhaps with a duckface. Let's not forget a picture with a huge gun to subconsciously broadcast insecurity issues. I'll put those up as soon as I'm feeling especially douchey...
I think that's enough for now. I will come back and edit this down later. Feel free to say hi if you made it this far and have not been scared off :)
- I am absolutely terrified of heights. That's why I have been bungee jumping three times and tandem skydiving 6 times. Embrace your fears, yo.
- I was an active duty Marine for almost 10 years. I'm proud of my service, but it doesn't define me.
- I have been to 35 countries, not counting layovers. Australia and Argentina are my favorites (something about the southern hemisphere).
- I recently adopted two dogs from the city shelter. They've enhanced my life in indescribable ways.
- I'm a tasteful (or tasty) guy - I only drink from the finest boxes of wine, such as a vintage 2014 white zinf from the outskirts of the San Fernando valley that currently occupies my fridge.
6. Giving smartass answers to dumbass questions.
2. Movie quoting.
19.Sarcasm, keeping my cool under pressure, my job, McGuyvering things when situations deem it necessary, random acts of silliness.
Movie: I could take the easy cop-out way and say Godfather II (which was great), but I have to say The Dark Knight because Christopher Nolan managed to make a movie with the subject matter that spoke to my inner child while making it believable and grounded enough for the adult me. I also love Casino Royale and Skyfall. Who can forget the classics such as Zoolander, Deuce Bigalow, and There's Something About Mary.
Show: Mr. Robot, Breaking Bad, Dexter and Homeland are my shows. House of Lies ranks very highly too. Damages, House of Cards on Netflix is fucking awesome! Love shows with season-long story arcs, which is great when you binge watch. The Wire was the best at this; not to sound like a hipster, but I did watch it back when it was on HBO (it came on right before Oz). Scandal went from a well-crafted guilty pleasure to a ridiculous mess that's only interested in one-upping itself.
Music: My iTunes truly does have just about everything. I can give everything a chance. Can't wait for concert season. Will go to the random obscure ones.
Food: Greek. Mediterranean food in general, bacon. Vegetarians should at least try bacon once. It's terrible for you and non-kosher, but it is delicious.
Why can't I find documentaries that don't have an agenda/conspiracy theory? Can't I just get the facts without an opinion so I can make my own? Is it because factuality has such a liberal bias?
There are WAY too many mattress stores. More keep popping up everywhere and I have yet to see customers in them. I may be wrong about this, but it could be that they are a front designed to launder money for nefarious reasons.
You recognize that only Judy can judge me.
You're an open-minded and socially liberal person.
You know that you're and you are can be used interchangeably.
You're a sapiosexual.
You realize that despite what you've been led to believe, your shit does stink and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.
You refrain from using text language when communicating in writing.
You're a huge nerd. Seriously, I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
***If we're a single digit match % or <90 enemy %, hit me up! Seriously, I'm very curious and I'm sure you are too. We can meet up with no expectations, so it could be a lot of fun. At the very least you get a free meal and/or drinks. Not being sarcastic about this.