Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It's not that I'm picky, but that I'm detail-oriented :)
Long profile. If you don't like reading, just hit pass.
- I am use a lot of sarcasm and deadpan humor sprinkled with brutal
and often inappropriate truthiness. If you can't handle it, it's
likely not going to work out.
- If I don't lead with a comment about your looks or compliment
your looks right away, doesn't mean I don't find you attractive if
I contact you or reply. I believe that women have more value to
offer than just their looks, so it would be a disservice to who you
are as a person to be described as cute/pretty/hot/beautiful/sexy,
etc. I already know that if we're talking.
About me: I am tall, dark and subjectively handsome. I'm happy
about my particular stage in life and career choice/direction. That
being said, I would prefer in a partner someone to push me forward
instead of holding me back.
I have all my teeth (sans wisdom teeth - turns out they weren't so
wise) and am perfectly capable of forming a complete sentence,
qualities I hear are rare amongst men in dating sites. Points for
me, I suppose. I do know the difference between
"where/were/we're/wear," "here/hear," "your/you're/yore,"
The word "there" can appear as a pronoun, as in “over there".
"Their" is a possessive pronoun. In a phrase like “Susan and Bill's
car,” it could be used to to make a new phrase: “their car.”
”They're” is a contraction of “they are.”
“They are” should always be able to replace “they're.”
I understand the need to shorten words to fit a text message, but
save that for twitter or texting.
I'm 6'1, so I generally have a height cap of who I am willing to
date that I set at 6'0 if you wear flats. This is only because as
an alpha male, I have a primal need to feel like a
provider/protector and when a woman wears heels it does make me a
bit self-conscious if she is taller than I am. Along the same
token, I'm a pretty strong guy, so it is important to me to be able
to pick up a woman and carry her without risking injury. Read into
that as you may.
Coming Soon:Pictures of me showcasing both my awesome bare chest
and selfie skillz (skillz with a z is appropriate here) by taking a
shirtless bathroom mirror, hopefully with unflushed toilet in the
frame. Also, a picture of me kneeling in front of my car, probably
flashing a pseudo gang sign, such as a sideway peace, perhaps with
a duckface. Let's not forget a picture with a huge gun to
subconsciously broadcast insecurity issues. I'll put those up as
soon as I'm feeling especially douchey...
I think that's enough for now. I will come back and edit this down
later. Feel free to say hi if you made it this far and have not
been scared off :)
- I am absolutely terrified of heights. That's why I have been
bungee jumping three times and tandem skydiving 6 times. Embrace
your fears, yo.
- I was an active duty Marine for almost 10 years. I'm proud of my
service, but it doesn't define me.
- I have been to 35 countries, not counting layovers. Australia and
Argentina are my favorites (something about the southern
- I recently adopted two dogs from the city shelter. They've
enhanced my life in indescribable ways.
- I'm a tasteful (or tasty) guy - I only drink from the finest
boxes of wine, such as a vintage 2014 white zinf from the outskirts
of the San Fernando valley that currently occupies my fridge.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Ruthlessly clawing my way up the corporate ladder and losing a
piece of my soul with each rung ascended. That and coming up with
crazy recipes for salsa while preparing for the upcoming
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving smartass answers to dumbass questions. Movie quoting.
Sarcasm, keeping my cool under pressure, my job, McGuyvering things
when situations deem it necessary, random acts of silliness.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look ethnically ambiguous. My smile. Also that I am tall and
dark; the handsome part is subjective.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: For non-fiction, there are a couple that I have read a few
times - Steve Jobs' biography by Walter Isaacson was impossible to
put down, as was Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers (everything M.G. has
put out has been amazing). Green Eggs and Ham. The Silence of the
Lambs is my favorite fictional book because it managed to build
tension in a way that has been very difficult to re-create.
Movie: I could take the easy cop-out way and say Godfather II
(which was great), but I have to say The Dark Knight because
Christopher Nolan managed to make a movie with the subject matter
that spoke to my inner child while making it believable and
grounded enough for the adult me. I also love Casino Royale and
Skyfall. Who can forget the classics such as Zoolander, Deuce
Bigalow, and There's Something About Mary.
Show: Breaking Bad, Dexter and Homeland are my shows. House of
Cards ranks very highly too. Damages, House of LiesTV on Netflix is
fucking awesome! Love shows with season-long story arcs, which is
great when you binge watch. The Wire was the best at this; not to
sound like a hipster, but I did watch it back when it was on HBO
right before Oz.
Music: My iTunes truly does have just about everything. I can give
everything a chance. Can't wait for concert season. Will go to the
random obscure ones.
Food: Greek. Mediterranean food in general, bacon. Vegetarians
should at least try bacon once. It's terrible for you and
non-kosher, but it is delicious.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This is very hard to fill out because I think I'd be just fine in a
zombie apocalypse/collapse of society scenario. If it really came
down to it, I could just give it all up in a heartbeat.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why haven't we ever seen "Psychic Wins Lottery" headline? Is there
an ethical boundary against using your psyching powers for
self-benefit? If so, why do so many psychics charge for their
services (looking at YOU, Ms. Cleo)?
Why can't I find documentaries that don't have an agenda/conspiracy
theory? Can't I just get the facts without an opinion so I can make
my own? Is it because factuality has such a liberal bias?
There are WAY too many mattress stores. More keep popping up
everywhere and I have yet to see customers in them. I may be wrong
about this, but it could be that they are a front designed to
launder money for nefarious reasons.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing the same thing I do every night: try to take over the world!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Trying to save up for penis reduction surgery. Insurance doesn't
cover it ):
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not a conversational dead end.
You recognize that only Judy can judge me.
You're an open-minded and socially liberal person.
You know that you're and you are can be used interchangeably.
You're a sapiosexual.
You realize that despite what you've been led to believe, your shit
does stink and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.
You refrain from using text language when communicating in
You're a huge nerd. Seriously, I love it when you talk nerdy to
***If we're a single digit match % or <90 enemy %, hit me up!
Seriously, I'm very curious and I'm sure you are too. We can meet
up with no expectations, so it could be a lot of fun. At the very
least you get a free meal and/or drinks. Not being sarcastic about
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.