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35 Naperville, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 5:59pm
Sapiosexual, Straight
Hispanic / Latin
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Graduated from masters program
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Italian (Okay), Japanese (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It's not that I'm picky, but that I'm detail-oriented :)

Full disclosure:

Long profile. If you don't like reading, just hit pass.

- I am use a lot of sarcasm and deadpan humor sprinkled with brutal and often inappropriate truthiness. If you can't handle it, it's likely not going to work out.

- If I don't lead with a comment about your looks or compliment your looks right away, doesn't mean I don't find you attractive if I contact you or reply. I believe that women have more value to offer than just their looks, so it would be a disservice to who you are as a person to be described as cute/pretty/hot/beautiful/sexy, etc. I already know that if we're talking.

About me: I am tall, dark and subjectively handsome. I'm happy about my particular stage in life and career choice/direction. I'm very ambitious and on track to enter the executive ranks as long as I stay on the path I'm in now. That being said, I would prefer in a partner someone to push me forward instead of holding me back.

I have all my teeth (sans wisdom teeth - turns out they weren't so wise) and am perfectly capable of forming a complete sentence, qualities I hear are rare amongst men in dating sites. Points for me, I suppose. I do know the difference between "where/were/we're/wear," "here/hear," "your/you're/yore," etc:
The word "there" can appear as a pronoun, as in “over there".
"Their" is a possessive pronoun. In a phrase like “Susan and Bill's car,” it could be used to to make a new phrase: “their car.”
”They're” is a contraction of “they are.”
“They are” should always be able to replace “they're.”

I understand the need to shorten words to fit a text message, but save that for twitter or texting.

I am a pseudo-recent transplant to Chicago from Florida, and I do not mind the cold. Being that I am fairly new to town, and still going through a transitional period, I'm not looking to go all out dating here, but open to what may develop.

I'm 6'1, so I generally have a height cap of who I am willing to date that I set at 6'0 if you wear flats. This is only because as a male, I have a primal need to feel like a provider/protector and when a woman wears heels it does make me a bit self-conscious if she is taller than I am. Along the same token, I'm a pretty strong guy, so it is important to me to be able to pick up a woman and carry her without risking injury. Read into that as you may.

Coming Soon:Pictures of me showcasing both my awesome bare chest and selfie skillz (skillz with a z is appropriate here) by taking a shirtless bathroom mirror, hopefully with unflushed toilet in the frame. Also, a picture of me kneeling in front of my car, probably flashing a pseudo gang sign, such as a sideway peace, perhaps with a duckface. Let's not forget a picture with a huge gun to subconsciously broadcast insecurity issues. I'll put those up as soon as I'm feeling especially douchey...

I think that's enough for now. I will come back and edit this down later. Feel free to say hi if you made it this far and have not been scared off :)

Random Tidbits:
- I am absolutely terrified of heights. That's why I have been bungee jumping three times and tandem skydiving 6 times. Embrace your fears, yo.

- I was an active duty Marine for almost 10 years. I'm proud of my service, but it doesn't define me.

- I have been to 35 countries, not counting layovers. Australia and Argentina are my favorites (something about the southern hemisphere).

- I recently adopted two dogs from the city shelter. They've enhanced my life in indescribable ways. By the way, single men shouldn't have cats. Not straight ones, anyways. Nothing against cats or cat owners, and it's okay to own a cat, as long as you have a girlfriend, or a female roommate, or a gay man. Just my personal unqualified opinion.

- I'm a tasteful (or tasty) guy - I only drink from the finest boxes of wine, such as a vintage 2014 white zinf from the outskirts of the San Fernando valley that currently occupies my fridge.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
- I live in the loop and work out in the burbs. I spend an average of 3 hours a day commuting, and as much I I love living in the city, paying over $2.5k/month for rent and parking has become a tough thing to justify, so will likely be moving out to suburbia with the doggies next summer, unless someone changes my mind in the next few months ;-)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving smartass answers to dumbass questions. Movie quoting. Sarcasm, keeping my cool under pressure, my job, McGuyvering things when situations deem it necessary, random acts of silliness.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look ethnically ambiguous. My smile. Also that I am tall and dark; the handsome part is subjective.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: For non-fiction, there are a couple that I have read a few times - Steve Jobs' biography by Walter Isaacson was impossible to put down, as was Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers (everything M.G. has put out has been amazing). Green Eggs and Ham. The Silence of the Lambs is my favorite fictional book because it managed to build tension in a way that has been very difficult to re-create.

Movie: I could take the easy cop-out way and say Godfather II (which was great), but I have to say The Dark Knight because Christopher Nolan managed to make a movie with the subject matter that spoke to my inner child while making it believable and grounded enough for the adult me. I also love Casino Royale and Skyfall. Who can forget the classics such as Zoolander, Deuce Bigalow, and There's Something About Mary.

Show: Breaking Bad, Dexter and Homeland are my shows. House of Cards ranks very highly too. Damages, House of LiesTV on Netflix is fucking awesome! Love shows with season-long story arcs, which is great when you binge watch. The Wire was the best at this; not to sound like a hipster, but I did watch it back when it was on HBO right before Oz.

Music: My iTunes truly does have just about everything. I can give everything a chance. Can't wait for concert season. Will go to the random obscure ones.

Food: Greek. Mediterranean food in general, bacon. Vegetarians should at least try bacon once. It's terrible for you and non-kosher, but it is delicious.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This is very hard to fill out because I think I'd be just fine in a zombie apocalypse/collapse of society scenario. If it really came down to it, I could just give it all up in a heartbeat.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why haven't we ever seen "Psychic Wins Lottery" headline? Is there an ethical boundary against using your psyching powers for self-benefit? If so, why do so many psychics charge for their services (looking at YOU, Ms. Cleo)?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I work on Friday nights. My definition of "Friday" has adapted to mean Saturday or Sunday night and I like to keep my options open. Relaxing and unwinding with the finest boxes of wine is how I spend my "typical" Friday night. This will be revised as I adjust to my new schedule.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am too trusting of fat guys wearing under armour. They just seem so legit.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not a conversational dead end.
You recognize that only Judy can judge me.
You're an open-minded and socially liberal person.
You're hilarious.
You know that you're and you are can be used interchangeably.
You're a sapiosexual.
You realize that despite what you've been led to believe, your shit does stink and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.
You refrain from using text language when communicating in writing.