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33 Salt Lake City, UT Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 11:28am
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Other, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), C++ (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Upper(ish) middle-class white guy from Orange County, California. Gay, ex(ish(complicated))-mormon, computer programmer and part-time secret blogger.

I want to be with a guy I think is better than me, who thinks I'm better than him. Only through a mutual sense of admiration and inadequacy will I be content.

While I do get along with guys who lean effeminate, I'm not sexually attracted. The second I hear a goofy voice the sex stuff is off. If a guy says things that you wouldn't expect to come from a man's mouth like "baby", "stud", "big boy", "daddy" (cringe): total shut down. If someone over 30 is behaving like this I start to feel a mix of pity and repulsion, 20/80%. It sounds like a performance to me and I can't take those people seriously. I wish I could be on board because it seems to happen a lot and my reactions isolate me, but I'm just not.

I know all about gender constructs and social conditioning and that they have created in me ideas of "masculine" and "feminine". I know they're fake, in the same way all words are fake. We have agreed, for the most part, on an acceptable use of the words. They're real to me and I'm sexually attracted to what we call masculine. There's nothing wrong with feminine, just please don't try to pass off as something you're not. Liars by omission, artifice, or explicitly to my damn face make me literally angry with rage. I get it if you're still figuring it out, especially if recently out of the closet. That's not a liar, that's a human.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a web developer, backend programmer, volunteer coordinator of a young group of misfits just looking for a good time, and a former English major turned English degree holder. I'm mostly doing the volunteer thing outside of work, its like a second job and depending on the day either richly rewarding or profoundly frustrating.

I must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and understanding. Not in a corny relationship way, though that might be true, too, but in an obsessive-autistic way where I feel compelled to understand "why" and "how." It works well in my career and in my personal life people tell me it helps them open up.

I have a superhero-like power that causes people to tell me deeply personal things about themselves, including deep-dark secrets, when I didn't ask or lead them there. I don't know why, but it happens with almost everyone I know. They *always* say "I don't know why I'm telling you this." I'm a safe place and I have never shared these things with anyone else unless given explicit permission.

I can relate to people with whom I don't relate. This makes more sense in practice, but its basically being able to understand and empathize with specific things but not holistically.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People tend to think I'm straight, and the longer that idea sticks in their brain the more entertaining their surprise when they learn the error of their perceptions.

Some people find me intimidating. I have yet to learn why.

I don't emote a lot. Consequences of a 15 year gaming career perhaps, but I'm deeply emotional and insightful. That's not a "first thing" but its pretty quickly noticed if you're looking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Shows recently watched in marathon mode: Friday Night Lights , The Killing, House of Cards. I also obsess over Doctor Who, 30 Rock (sad times its over), Parks and Recreation, New Girl and Archer. Honorable mentions: Community, The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, True Blood.

Movies: Cloud Atlas, I Heart Huckabees, The Hours, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Serenity, Little Miss Sunshine, Ordinary People, Stranger than Fiction, The Royal Tenenbaums, There Will Be Blood, V for Vendetta.

I studied Virginia Woolf in school so I like that. I'm currently reading Cloud Atlas and the before that it was Old School by Tobias Wolff.

Music in the realm of Neutral Milk Hotel, Ingrid Michaelson, Mumford and Sons, Of Monsters and Men, and Alexi Murdoch.

Food is pretty open, but I'm known for my weirdly intense love of In N Out and Disneyland Pickles.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Internet access (not all the time but eventually I want to know whats going on in the world).
A car
A joke
A service position
Quality sleep
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Analogies. Like how a dog spends most of its time thinking about dog food and being pet. I also spend a lot of time caught up in recursive meta loops, like how I'm trying to come up with analogies for how I think about analogies.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
When its cold I usually watch TV to unwind. When its not cold, or when I feel like it, I go up to my cabin, relax and do lots of brush clearing and ditch digging. One time I was chopping wood and the log slipped off, but the ax kept going into my food. An exhilarating drive to the ER 20 minutes away led to 5 stitches, a cool scar and a manly story.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I get nervous I start spouting off facts or bad jokes. That's also when I'm most likely to be flamboyant, otherwise I'm calm and serene.

Also, I'm a member of the largest social club in the world no one wanted to be a member of. Our number is very near the front of the phone book.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to chat, get coffee or go complete a jag, I'm in. If you've got a secret to tell or just need someone to talk to because in your life there's no one who understands.