I am a snotty atheist, a Juggalo apologist, an embedded reporter, an urban explorer, an XXX enthusiast, a voracious writer and a karaoke expert. I hate rules and people that don't use their goddamn turn signal. OXYMORON. I hate America, but am obsessed with Americana. I would probably rather get murdered than call the police. I've been on the cover of two magazines: West Michigan Noise, and Busted. I own a mid-sized Sedan, a gym membership, a Delta SkyMiles card and I drink iced lattes with whole milk. I like road trips.

UPDATE: I got to be in Busted AGAIN without even committing another crime! Say hello to 2012 Busted Bad Girl: Not just breaking hearts, but also the law. SERIOUSLY, WHO BUYS THAT?!

I am in an open relationship, but I don't, like, own a hot tub or a kimono or anything.

When you read Brave New World, didn't you think John was a goddamn whiner?

My mother thinks I'm "trying" to "get murdered," I think. I'm a journalist and a musician. I'm in a band that never plays anymore called The Fainting Generals. I am the Managing Editor of a regional publication and oversee a small team of journalists who write about urban revitalization, social justice and the new economy. I also run a website about motels 'n shit. We get really into weird conventions, subcultures, and ghost towns. That's how I became a Juggalo apologist, and also how I met Ron Jeremy five times.

tl;dr: I AM EATING ALL THE CAKE.

Typing. Arguing. Pouring liquids into cups. Partying. HATING EVERYTHING. But, LIKING CATS.

One time, theshawna and I talked two men with a handgun out of robbing us in New Orleans. So, I am also really good at negotiating.

I have really big eyes. Or, depending on your vantage point, that I have the Hunter S. Thompson Gonzo fist tattooed on my thigh.

Books: Nabakov, Palahniuk, Ellis, Welsh, Vonnegut, Shephard, Eggers, Sedaris, Wilde.
Movies: The Rules of Attraction, Fight Club, Happiness. Taxi Driver. A Clockwork Orange. The Shining (Kubrick's). Pornography.
TV: Community, Dexter, True Blood, Breaking Bad, Parks and Rec, Twin Peaks, Game of Thrones.
Music: Pulp, Bruce Springsteen, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, Foreigner, Air, Goldfrapp, Prince, The Jesus and Mary Chain. I know, what a mess!! I like or at least can tolerate most music except r&b, radio country and drum circles.
Food: I will not eat junk. I eat a lot of fish.

Hands. The Internet. Music. Language. Logic. Clothes (of any sort).

Politics, living in cars, faking my own death, hypotheticals, good names for pornographic movies, rock operas, the future, magazine covers, music videos, kittens.

MurderMotels.com

I dislike children. But I am completely mentally incapacitated by animals. I can be lured into any alleyway with the promise of kittens.

you're an interesting, intelligent person who isn't looking for someone to fall in love with. If you're kind of a jerk, but not a liar and you don't mind girls who your friends will tell you are "trouble."
You know where there are some seedy motels. You know the password to an Eyes Wide Shut party.
You have kittens. For real. DO NOT LIE TO ME ABOUT HAVING KITTENS.

You should NOT message me if:
You are conservative, very religious, racist, really into sports. You ever tell women to smile. If you ever tip less than 20% and the server has not murdered your entire family. You think gay people chose to be gay. You voted for Romney.