Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
FIRST OFF: I know that I have a profile here, actually, apparently
I have several profiles here. The problem is I don't have access to
it (and the others? You're asking me to remember log ins from 5
years ago? I can't even log in to the one I have.) People have seen
me in Real Life and recognized me and confronted me "Hey! I
messaged you **insert creepily specific time* ago. You ignored me,
why do you even have OkCupid? You're stuck up!" That's usually when
I either turn my switch to *off* or try to find the nearest
emergency exit without averting my eyes from the person so they
don't know what I'm thinking.
The truth is that I am *Really* sorry. Like, sincerely. Not all of
you are creepy. Heck, I'm on here and I don't think that I'm
I just wanted to clear the air and let you know that I wrote my log
in and password in my "little book" that I keep with me indicating
all things important in my life. You just never know when you're
going to get hit with amnesia, and your Mom might know a lot about
you but she certainly doesn't know you are so lame you use online
dating sites on a religious basis let alone *know* the log in
information. I imagine her going and reading everything clucking
her tongue in disapproval and as a few tears stream down her cheeks
she thinks of her "I've never been lucky in love" daughter, changes
EVERYTHING on said profile including pictures, inserting my First
Communion portrait from Sears 1993.
Now that I cleared the air.
I will finish the rest of this portion later. It takes a lot of
pride and energy admitting that you're a complete dolt. Especially
when what you're doing is attempting to prove the complete
opposite. Is honesty sexy? Probably as sexy as the spot I just
noticed on my leg that I missed when I shaved.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
You know that thing they tell you? That "You can do whatever you
want as long as you put your mind/heart into it?" Well I realized
that was crap even when I was a kid so I set my expectations pretty
low. I even only picked ONE of those low expectations in order to
be extra safe (and it was the boring one!) and it still failed in
the most Epic of Fails.
So, "What I'm doing with my life" is kind of a loaded question for
anyone to be asking me. Depending on how I'm feeling I might
cry.... or throw a chair at you.
Actually I won't do either. I got my crying out a while ago and the
only fight I got in was in 6th grade before Earth Science when my
friend Amy accused me of going to the guidance counselor and
tattling on her attention seeking ways (I didn't). She swung at me
and it was on.
My life is beyond any ridiculous independent film about some
20-something girl who might be a little "quirky" but whose heart is
in the right place and experiencing all this actualization sort of
crap. What did my Mom recently say to me? Oh. "When you'd tell me
things about your life... I didn't think you were lying, but I did
think maybe you were... exaggerating.... a little too much.
Everything in your life is horrible and did you know it just keeps
getting worse. Your life is shitty. I wish you were a liar."
So right now I am doing the opposite of everything I was doing
before with my shitty life and the opposite of everything I had
planned for my shitty life.
It's fucking terrifying but also the most exciting time of my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a girl, my hair is blonde but I should probably do something
about those roots pretty soon, I go to Starbucks** to "steal" (I
end up spending gross amounts of money drinking things that
shouldn't cost half of what they do.), I have a lot of tattoos
which I've learned is usually a "make it or break it" point(also I
don't understand this "bad ass/bad girl" thing people assume. I am
probably the furthest thing from either unless you count passive
aggressive "missed connections" on Craigslist for people who do not
know how to behave respectably in public)
**NOTE: Did you know that Starbucks does not turn off the magic
wifi machine (I don't know computer stuff) when they close for the
night? If you sit outside the location, for example where their
patio is, you can use the internet, at no cost, all night (and
won't get dirty looks for bringing your own snacks to complement
your $5.00 16ounce beverage)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This is long enough and you're tempting me with lists. This can go
on all night. I'll try not to be excessive considering I've already
given you my grocery list from the drunkards' convenience
Books:any era of philip k dick is appealing to me in different
ways, augusten burroughs (even though i used to HATE him and upon
seeing The House he grew up in i almost tore the car door off hulk
style to get out to spit on it), ray bradbury, warren ellis, scott
snyder, flannery o'connor, anton chekhov, tennessee williams
Movies: alien, reanimator, the fly (original and cronenbergs,
american psycho, the secret of nimh, the elephant man, possession
(the '81 title), prometheis
Shows: twin peaks, lost, nova
Music: I'm weird with racket. I like silence or NPR a lot. I like a
lot of older stuff and boopy stuff and guilty pleasure stuff. A
typical playlist contains a lot of bauhaus, the cure, meat loaf,
kronos quartet, the knife, morrissey...
Food: stuff habitual drunk people and kids eat. no eggs.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ok, there are the important obvious things and I am going to
completely avoid that and just have fun with this list with what I
could never do without at this precise moment of 7/13@
chicken wings... I really want chicken wings and have no attention
of going home until I have a box of chicken wings cradled in my
a hammock. I am going in that thing as soon as I have my chicken
wings. I will probably pass out in it as I haven't been sleeping
great and wake up around 3am covered with chicken wing slop and
my phone. Im super awkward in public. It makes me look busy when I
pretend to do stuff on my phone (Im usually just swiping it from on
app selection page to the next)
books. books are my friends.
We Never Close. In the past week I discovered the existence of
Kettle Corn Cracker Jacks (any other kind of Cracker Jacks are just
foul), some kind of Sour Patch Kid that looks like a gummy turnip,
"Party" Perry's ice cream sandwiches which is vanilla cookie and
BIRTHDAY CAKE ICE CREAM, 33.8oz bottles of DIET CREAM SODA, and 99
cent slices of pizza. All these things everyone else only buys when
they have alcohol poisoning, or I've been told, I don't drink but
sometimes I pretend to be drunk so I don't look like I have the
diet of an overweight 12 year olds' wet dream
Lists. I'm bored. I make a list. I'm stressed. I make a list. I'm
excited. I make a list. I'm on a dating website. I make a list. I
start my day. I make a list.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I have strong aversion to thinking about what was.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm really especially totally completely looking to make new
friends and I don't mean that with any secret code involved, nor is
there any hint of creepy desperation. I just moved to a new
area(Elmwood Village) and I feel like the child version of me where
I was the only person in that block of the lunch room table.
Granted it wasn't a huge move (Depew to Buffalo) but it's a
completely different environment that has this amazing energy where
you can sit on the porch and engage in random conversations with
drunks all night long and you don't even have to put on pants.
Depew doesn't let you do that. I've also been extremely quiet and
shy for a long time and I do have GREAT friends but a few years
back I lost majority of folks in my life when I stopped being door
mattish and I found out how nasty and cruel and self centered folks
could be. It took a while to recover from that (don't worry, I
sincerely don't have baggage!)so I want to reestablish a social
life that doesn't involve having dinner and movie night with my
cats 7 nights a week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you actually read this thing you might remember I mentioned
amnesia. I really had amnesia. Or have it? I'm not sure how that
works. So you get amnesia, is it tensed as if it were a one time
event or as if it were an ongoing thing? It's not constantly a
continuously happening thing (anymore), but I do still experience
situations where things come up that were affected by it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to.
Clearly if you messaged me before and I never responded. If you
forgive me please give me another chance, I'm not a dick. I'll give
you the same level of time and respect you give/gave me.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.