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31 M Bronx, NY

I’m looking for

  • Straight girls only
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:09pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Used up
Strictly anything
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
On the Meyers-Briggs personality scale, I am a IDGS. Meaning I don't give a shit about overly-intellectual and analytical personality scales.

Anyway, I'm a young adult white male who was born and raised and still hasn't moved out of the Bronx. I have a crazy work schedule. I also used to do stand-up comedy, hence all my pictures above. (I really need to take new pics). I still write jokes on Facebook and such and most of my friends are or were comedians, but the need for money and sleep overtook my desire.

As for my ideal match, no fucking clue what that means. I always assume there is no ideal match until you find someone. I can say my ideal match likes watching football and then meet a girl and go you know what, the way she screams when she watches football is really annoying and she's not so ideal after all. I'm sure you're cool if you watch football though. Unless you're a Patriots fan. Yeah, I said it!

I guess my personality would be witty or sarcastic. However sarcastic in observations. In other words, a lot of people say they're sarcasntic or have a sarcastic personality when really there just making an excuse for being a douchebag. So I'm not sarcastic in the "really you just figured that out? Nice going Einstein!" sense but in the "hey that lady over there with aluminum on top of her head rummaging through the garbage looks like a real winner" manner. If that makes sense. :)

I also can be quirky and randomly change the subject matter of our conversations. But my mama always said life is like a box of chocolates!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Words With Friends. I will f-ing destroy you. Just saying.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is that I'm not wearing any pants

Also, while I don't mean to, I am told I give "clammy" handshakes and "awkward" hugs. I don't mean to, but apparently I have unknowing phobias of these two things. If you meet me, perhaps it would be best to just say hi as opposed to an introductory hug or handshake. Unless you love awkwardness, in which case I love you already.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Don't really have a favorite books but I enjoy humorous authors such as Kurt Vonnegut and Charles Bukowski.

I'm not a big movie guy but do try to catch all the Superhero movies and although I'm now probably too old, secretly wish I could have played Spider-Man in a movie.

Despite having been a comedian, my biggest tv show interests are likely crime-related and I enjoy both true crime and scripted crime shows and such.

Edit: Recently finished Breaking Bad on Netflix! Awesome show although I still wonder what happened to Huell.

My favorite genre of music is likely 90's alternative music and I wish I was a teenager around that time when it was more acceptable to wear flannel shirts.

As for food, Chicken Parmigiana!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about club
2. The second rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club
3. Having the ability to realize I don't follow directions properly, such as when I'm asked to list six things I could never do without, I instead start listing the rules of Fight Club
4. Making lists of six things I could never do without
5. Chicken Parmigiana
6. If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much is that doggie in the window?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching Urkel. If this were the 90's
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I would say the most private thing I'm willing to admit is that I don't like admitting private things to people I have yet to meet.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If our match-percentage is Heisenberg-level.