"A guy goes on a date with a girl, right away he has to spend $100, $200, $500, $900. I go on a date with a girl it costs me nothing. I come up to her.. She wants to go out, I let her go. What's my business? I have to follow her around? Lets be honest why does a guy take a girl out in the first place? He takes her out so he can be with her when she comes back. I'm there already, where am I going? There's another fraud. The whole dating system in this country is a fraud...the most honest man in the world.. As soon as he goes on a date becomes a liar and a fraud. Right away her asks her, 'hello, did you eat yet?' What the hell does a dinner have to do what you want from this girl? Lets be honest a guy takes a girl out because she appears to him sexually. If it wasn't sex, he'd take out his brother in law. I'm the only honest person left, I wait outside of a restaurant and saw who ate already." - Jackie Mason.
I hate lists. I refuse to make lists.
Shit, I caved and now making a list..
-lover of all things nutrition/health
-my pit bull makes a noise that sounds like someone's starting a lawn mower. It's awesome.
-can quote pretty much any show or movie. Comes in handy if I'm ever to be held hostage by roger ebert
-play ice hockey except had surgery on my shoulder so I'm out for several months
-keep active by weights, spin, yoga, hiking, biking, skiing
-love stand up comedy (bill burr, Louis ck, John pinette, Brian regan, mike birbiglia, John muhlaney, Jackie mason, mitch hedberg, Patton Oswalt)
-cooking (fuck you bobby flay
-not into labels, but mildly (ok very) obsessed with brooks brothers and Charles Tyrwitt
-being a type A and being damn good at my job (passionate about what I do, ain't that sweet *studio audience awws*
- like every mammal with a Y chromosome (yup, that's a fact Bill Nye confirmed it) I'm a sports guy. Favorites are hockey and soccer but baseball is dear to my heart as is football
-being a geek at heart: museums, reading, sometimes video games, the universe, blah blah blah