I'm Jacob...or Jake.

I'm fairly certain this will be filled with things that will push people away from me rather than get me a date/friend. But, I'm honest and don't care all that much if people don't like the truth. Now that I've gotten you all psyched to read further, let's get to it! :)

I'm incredibly smart, I'm incredibly funny. Those are the two things I'm truly confident about...borderline cocky. I'm ashamed to admit that because cocky people are one of my biggest pet peeves. I'm a hypocrite too...I should probably mention that.

Uh...don't let the intelligence thing fool you though. I'm poor, unmotivated, have no drive or direction to accomplish great things and am really just scraping by in life doing what I want to do at the moment, rather than planning for little things like...the future. :)

I was in the military for four years...the Navy to be exact. Hated it. Don't be impressed or admire what "I did for my country". I sat in a cubicle doing computer troubleshooting work and network security. About the only interesting thing I can think of was my job title: Cryptologic Technician - Networks. People say, "WOW, code breaking shit right?! You're like Rainman aren't you?!" And I say, "No, I was more like the main character from Office Space." And that's the truth. I didn't hold a gun, see another country or even a ship. I was never on the water and I was in the Navy. *shrug*

I'm an atheist...I know it says so in that "My Details" section. But I'm sure most of you skim that if you bother reading it at all. So yeah, I've eliminated about 90% of you from even looking further. Which is fine, I have no need for judgmental or closed-minded people cutting down or berating my belief system. Or even worse...trying to convert me to theirs.

Speaking of religion though, if you ARE religious in some form or another I don't mind. I'm more concerned with people as a whole rather than focusing on one aspect. You should know though, that I love talking about/debating/arguing religion. Actually I love debating just about anything. Not that I know everything...but it's fun to me to polish my wit and cleverness and learn stuff too.

I love to laugh and make others laugh. I joke at the best of times and at the worst of times. A quality some people don't appreciate. I'm not concerned about it...if I think a laugh is needed, I'll provide it. Even in inappropriate situations. I'm going to enjoy the time I have, and try to help others do the same.

I'm not a fitness or health nut...I eat whatever. I don't watch sports, nor do I care a single tiny bit about them. They bore me like nothing else can. I will play most sports though, but friends don't get together for games of touch football or soccer like they did when we were kids. So if you're into sports...don't expect me to get interested. I've tried...nope.

I'm sure there's plenty more to say...but this is really long and honestly, you people probably aren't even reading it all. Taking a look at my gay pictures and judging me on that. Which I don't mind, I like to be physically attracted somewhat before all the rest of the shit goes down. So I get it.

School, work. Just got my associates. Working towards a Philosophy degree. What's that you're thinking? A useless degree with hardly and job opportunities and barely any income? Yeah, I'm aware of that. Like I said above...I'm smart. I didn't just randomly choose to study that without any forethought or consideration.

The reason I did choose that path is simple. It's the only realm that interests me in school. I loved all the classes associated with philosophy so boom...decision made. As for the job I'll get in the future? Who knows? Who cares? I'll figure it out when I figure it out. (That's one of those things most of you probably won't like to hear.)

Talking about myself, looking good and impressing everyone I meet, just being narcissistic in general. You know...typical stuff.

Also: reading, gaming, computer...ing, debating, making people laugh, not giving a shit, floating through life, and I'm awesome at making my cats purrrrrr. Gay?

I'm skinny, I'm not tan, I look asian. Some people like my eyes, some my teeth. Some people don't like a single thing about my face. Those people are never heard from again.

Authors: Michael Crichton, Stephen King, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins...to name a few. Does it matter? 80% of you people consider reading a waste of time or for geeks.

Movies: Stand By Me and The Shawshank Redemption are my two tops.

Shows: Dexter, Breaking Bad, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Music: Liking myself some dubstep right now, also enjoy most electronic music, trance, techno, ebm, whatever. Rock, metal, 80's, oldies...wait a minute...I'm just listing everything now. That's ridiculous. I like almost everything, but dubstep and techno are the biggies.

Food: I'm pretty clear about my diet in the "My Details" section.

Nah, don't wanna do this one.

Don't wanna do this one either. I think about a lot of shit and it's tedious to type it all out. If you and I start talking, chances are you'll enter that strange and alarming place that is my mind.

Reading or sleeping...or taking a bath while reading and then falling asleep. Being jerked awake by inhaling dirty bath water that I've fallen asleep in and trying to dry out my wet book.

Or driving around listening to music. That's fun too.

I shaved my pubes a few times down to the skin. Shaved AGAINST THE GRAIN. Am I retarded? Why would I do that? Well, a friend said he did and that I should try it. Obviously that's good enough of a reason.
Aftermath: Uh, blood and pain mostly. Then like 20 ingrown hairs and blood in my boxers for a few days. Too much information? :)

You like what you've read...or really hate what you've read. I'm so desperate for attention that I don't really give a shit why you message me. Just do it already.

Although, if you're the type of person who doesn't realize that my profile and journal is riddled with sarcasm then you may want to rethink what you're doing. I might not be the best match for you. Though, some of what I say is truth wrapped in sarcasm...or vice versa...so sometimes even I'm not sure what I really think. Whoops.