30 Granite City, IL
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My self-summary
I'm Jacob...or Jake.

I'm fairly certain this will be filled with things that will push people away from me rather than get me a date/friend. But, I'm honest and don't care all that much if people don't like the truth. Now that I've gotten you all psyched to read further, let's get to it! :)

I'm intelligent and incredibly funny. Those are the two things I'm truly confident about. Somehow I never figured out how to use my gifts to meet women.

Uh...don't let the intelligence thing fool you though. I'm poor, unmotivated, have no drive or direction to accomplish great things and am really just scraping by in life doing what I want to do at the moment, rather than planning for little things like...the future. :)

I was in the military for four years...the Navy to be exact. Hated it. Don't be impressed or admire what "I did for my country". I sat in a cubicle doing computer troubleshooting work and network security. About the only interesting thing I can think of was my job title: Cryptologic Technician - Networks. People say, "WOW, code breaking shit right?! You're like Rainman aren't you?!" And I say, "No, I was more like the main character from Office Space." And that's the truth. I didn't hold a gun, see another country or even board a ship. I was never on the water and I was in the Navy. *shrug*

I'm an atheist...I know it says so in that "My Details" section. But I'm sure most of you skim that if you bother reading it at all. So yeah, I've eliminated about 90% of you from even looking further. Which is fine, I have no need for judgmental or closed-minded people cutting down or berating my belief system. Or even worse...trying to convert me to theirs.

Speaking of religion though, if you ARE religious in some form or another I don't mind. I'm more concerned with people as a whole rather than focusing on one aspect. You should know though, that I love talking about/debating/arguing religion. Actually I love debating just about anything. Not that I know everything...but it's fun to me to polish my wit and cleverness and learn stuff too.

I love to laugh and make others laugh. I joke at the best of times and at the worst of times. A quality some people don't appreciate. I'm not concerned about it...if I think a laugh is needed, I'll provide it. Even in inappropriate situations. I'm going to enjoy the time I have, and try to help others do the same.

I'm not a fitness or health nut...I eat whatever. I don't watch sports, nor do I care a single tiny itty bitty bit about them. They bore me like nothing else can. I will play some sports though, but nowadays that rarely happens. So if you're into sports...don't expect me to get interested. I've tried...nope.

I'm sure there's plenty more to say...but this is really long and honestly, you people probably aren't even reading it all. Taking a look at my foolish pictures and judging me on that I bet. No worries, you gotta be physically attracted too. I get it.
What I’m doing with my life
Not a lot. I'm tired of school at this point. Have an Associates with a focus on philosophy and psychology. Will it get me any worthwhile jobs or a sustainable income? Of course it won't.

I beg for "gas money" in parking lots. Then I spend it on anything but gas.
I’m really good at
Talking about myself, looking good and impressing everyone I meet, just being a narcissistic jerk in general. You know...typical stuff.

Also: reading, gaming, computer...ing, debating, making people laugh, not giving a shit, floating through life, and I'm awesome at making my cats purrrrrr. Impressed?
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm skinny, I'm not tan, I look asian. Some people like my eyes, some my teeth. Some people don't like a single thing about my face. Those people are never heard from again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: Michael Crichton, Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins...to name a few. Does it matter? 80% of you people consider reading a waste of time or for geeks.

Movies: Stand By Me and The Shawshank Redemption are my two tops.

Shows: Dexter, Breaking Bad, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Fargo

Music: Liking myself some dubstep right now, also enjoy most electronic music, trance, techno, ebm, whatever. Rock, metal, 80's, oldies...wait a minute...I'm just listing everything now. That's ridiculous. I like almost everything, but electronic and 80's are the biggies.

Food: I'm pretty clear about my diet in the "My Details" section.
The six things I could never do without
People write the most boring things here. I refuse to be a part of it.
At least until I think of something clever to put.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Don't wanna do this one either. I think about a lot of shit and it's tedious to type it all out. If you and I start talking, chances are you'll enter that strange and alarming place that is my mind.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading or sleeping...or taking a bath while reading and then falling asleep. Being jerked awake by inhaling dirty bath water that I've fallen asleep in and trying to dry out my wet book.

Or driving around listening to music. That's fun too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I shaved my pubes a few times down to the skin. Shaved AGAINST THE GRAIN. Am I retarded? Why would I do that? Well, a friend said he did and that I should try it. Obviously that's good enough of a reason.
Aftermath: Uh, blood and pain mostly. Then like 20 ingrown hairs and blood in my boxers for a few days. Too much information?
You should message me if
You like what you've read...or really hate what you've read. I'm so desperate for attention that I don't really give a shit why you message me. Just do it already.