I am an upright bipedal, bilaterally symmetrical, four-limbed, endoskeletal, pentadactyl, binocular and binaural chordate.

I am extremely open minded, known to associate with polyamorists, freaks, engineers, and the transgendered, and I don't believe in a single, predetermined path for anyone. I do believe that anything worth doing, however, is worth doing the hell out of. This includes making out for hours while watching reruns of Punky Brewster. Well, maybe not, but we'll see.

Something altruistic. Preferably involving almonds and other tree nuts/allergens that may have been processed at this facility. I'm using my computer superpowers for the good of humanity. Or, at least, underprivileged children. I am the ubiquitous "IT Guy". I will fix your computers, your XBox, your lawnmower, and probably your mother. I'll do so in an obnoxiously cheerful manner. I'm trying to reimagine myself as a software engineer (which is kind of like a Bulgarian pimp, no?), though thus far I've fooled no one.

I'm expanding. Socially. Not physically. (I hope.) I'm making questionable financial decisions. I'm playing with my pet rocks. I'm riding my bike with no handlebars. (*groan*...)

I'm in the midst of a socioemotional growth spurt. I'm inventing new words, like socioemotional. I'm just about ready to burst quietly. I'm not at all sure what that might mean, exactly.

I'm looking forward to a return trip to Black Rock City in 2010. I've been told that there is a perception of exclusion and "cliqueishness" in the burner community, and the observation is not unfounded. I think that for an event that is attempting to be highly inclusive and encourage radical participation, the community can be rather insular at times. I don't necessarily subscribe to that aspect of it, and neither do many burners; it's quite simply what you make it. As a "traveller", I feel I visit that universe with good intentions but a healthy amount of advocacy for the Devil. ;)

Massages. Repairing things long thought dead. (Again, likely including your mom.) Making you laugh. Being completely irreverent. Driving aggressively when absolutely necessary (as in, we're out of dark chocolate, or, the opening band has already finished their set.) Kissing (so I'm told. Haven't been able to make out with myself as of yet. Tried. Looked like a dog chasing his own face. Also known as "Tuesday".)

Explaining my way out of anything. Rationalizing spending money on completely unnecessary things. Finding esoteric reasons to exist.

My height, which is reasonably noticeable. My lips, which are reasonably lippy. My smile, as I wear it quite often. My big brown eyes, which I am told are a "window into my soul."

Hunter S., Kurt Vonnegut, childhood favorites, such as The Phantom Tollbooth, The Giver, The Chocolate War, The Catcher in the Rye. Geek Love. Douglas Adams. John Varley. ("Overdrawn at the Memory Bank").

Indian, Creole, Ethiopian, Cuban, Thai, Mongolian, Salvadorean, Mexican, Mediterranean and Vegan/Vegitarian/whole food.

I was on vacation in New York, staying with family, and found a copy of "The Family Book of Questions", one of those yellowed books full of facts about bees and such, as well as all about Fidel Castro, and the importance of 18th century wigs. (apparently they helped to cement the notion that this nation is truly founded on insanity. and kinky, melodramatic humping. what!?)

Music:
Ratatat, A Place to Bury Strangers, Animal Collective, Battle, Boards of Canada, Caribou, Radiohead, Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band, Mister Bungle, Sigur Ros, Tool, Of Montreal, Super Furry Animals, The Flaming Lips, The Stones, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Doors, The Beastie Boys, KRS One, Mark Mothersbaugh, Beck, David Bowie, The Wu-Tang Clan, Aphex Twin, 8-Bit Weapon, The Avalanches, The Bad Plus, PJ Harvey, Bob Dylan, The Boredoms, Deadbolt, Depeche Mode, Devo, DJ Danger Mouse, DJ Shadow, John Zorn, LCD Soundsystem, Neu!, No Age, Puscifer, Secret Chiefs 3, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Tom Waits, Ween, The White Stripes, Wilco. This is a Partial List.

Movie wise, anything that will allow me to forget reality. Unless I really have to pee, then no movie can compete. I'm generally a fan of documentaries and experimental things, and can appreciate artfulness in film (as someone with a film degree [big whoop], I should...) If I must be specific, anything from the View Askew-niverse makes me laugh and think far more deeply than intended by the film (damn all of those parallels to my life...), anything demonstrating creativity and a departure from the usual (Michael Gondry//Eternal Sunshine//Be Kind Rewind, Waking Life), as well as incredibly well written dialog illustrating the beautiful mundanities of the fucked-up-edness of the human condition (The Brothers Coen//The Big Lebowski//Fargo//Burn After Reading)... Animated shorts and high quality stuff (Miyazaki//Princess Mononoke/Spirited Away-no dubbing!! Subtitles plz!!)... Then again, as a child of the eighties, I've got a soft spot in my heart for such silly escapist crap as Top Gun, Smokey and The Bandit, Cannonball Run. Lest we forget, and because, apparently, I like typing, there's The Neverending Story, The Goonies, Legend, Princess Bride... K, I'll be quiet now.

My glasses. Without them, I'm just a leery oaf surrounded by colorful blobs. (They come off for the important stuff.)

My pants. They keep things from chafing. (They come off for the important stuff.)

My shoes. With them I am free to go. (They come off for the important stuff.)

My nipples. Well, I can't seem to go anywhere without them though they serve no apparent purpose other than to make me lose my concentration. (They come off for the important stuff. Wait...)

My fingers. Because they... fing... so well. (They come off for the important stuff. Like settling gambling debts. Or freeing myself from immovable objects.)

MUSIC.

Entropy. The chaos as measured in a contained space. Quantum entanglement. The bending of space-time. Warm cuddling. Silly gadgets, toys, cars and other stuffs. Good-smelling hair. Altered states of mind. The summer of love. The inner workings of your toaster. My friend Steve. My cats. Solar power. Clif bars. The distant past.

Lately I've been thinking quite a bit about what it means. (Exactly.)

Trying to replicate the most interesting social experiences of my life. Attempting to find somewhere unusual to go. Attempting to disrupt my own reality, typically with libations and/or other controlled substances. Potentially, running for President.

I trim my eyebrows. I believe in the possibility of a successful implementation of socialism. I secretly root for the villain. I often wish I was a girl, so that I could experience a female orgasm. I've always wanted to live in a school bus.

Whoever, or whatever you are, please be able to look at life from above and mock it openly for the chaos that it is, yet be able to suspend disbelief, descend into the thick of it, and wonder in awe when compelled, all without guilt or fear.

Be secretly extremely sensitive, while at the same time, brutishly honest, guffawing at my flaws, laughing with me when I'm in a self-effacing mood. Enjoy being spontaneously touched. Give me the satisfaction of allowing me to watch you melt when your defenses are down and you're vulnerable, because this is when I'll protect you.

Don't kick me when I'm down, unless I deserve it for saying something stupid and macho. Or for sewing myself into a corner.

Be sensual. Be sexual. Be in touch with your body. Be comfortable with it. Deal with the fact that I'm not quite fully comfortable with mine. (Yet.)

Lastly, please get lost, as you'll likely find me there.

You most certainly should message me if you are any of the following:

-An open-minded, non-judgemental, benevolently evil and obnoxiously cuddly person.

-An impulsive malcontent or at least a sexually aggressive communist with radically Taoist leanings. Well, maybe not the Toaism. Be comfortable with polyamorism and overt sensuality/sexuality. Please be brilliant (ess emm arr tee), if only because surrounding myself with you will only enhance me.

-A meat-being with reasonable intentions.

-Someone who requires more minerals.

-Someone who's got the Mott's, and would like to trade.