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28 Orlando, FL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:54am
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and dislikes cats

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Everything I need to know I learned from the Ying Yang Twins
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a software developer. It pays the bills until I get my big break doing porn.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Simulating coitus with my hand, imbibing spirits.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My face. Or whatever. Fuck you.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music (if we have the same taste in music, you win. Stop reading and say hello):
Off With Their Heads, Alkaline Trio, NOFX, Less Than Jake, We Are The Union, Nothington, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Dropkick Murphys, The Bouncing Souls, Lagwagon, The Swellers, Against Me!, blink-182, Swingin' Utters, Polar Bear Club, Elway, The Loved Ones, Strung Out, The Flatliners, The Menzingers, DMX, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Rancid, Wu-Tang Clan, The Wonder Years, Pennywise, The Offspring, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, 2Pac, The Gaslight Anthem, Dear Landlord, Streetlight Manifesto, Rise Against, AFI, A Wilhelm Scream, Social Distortion, Nas, Joey Cape, New Found Glory, Bad Religion, Beastie Boys, Green Day, Willie Nelson, Jay-Z, Weezer, Mixtapes, Millencolin, Dead to Me, No Use for a Name.

Entirely too many to list out. I will say I'm primarily a comedy man. I have a fairly impressive knowledge base of movie quotes.

TV Shows:
Archer, South Park, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Sons of Anarchy, Parks and Recreation, Scrubs, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Breaking Bad, Weeds, Workaholics, Eastbound and Down, Dexter, Aquateen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken

I'm currently reading the Silo Series by Hugh Howey

If it's bad for me, I'm probably into it
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
All I've got is my pen pal and my dick, and that's all I want and that's certainly all I need
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Consuming libations
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're passionate about pizza rolls and the Oxford comma.

You should not message me if:
You "don't see what was so bad about the last season of Dexter."