Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


34 M Orange, TX

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:37pm
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
I'm a professional nerd. I currently have three jobs: Software Quality Assurance, owner/producer of a podcast network on tabletop gaming, and columnist for a major media outlet on tabletop gaming. I travel a lot for the latter two, going to gaming conventions all over the country.

Fun facts about me: I almost always wear suits when I go out if the weather cooperates. I play guitar in a studio band called Save or Die that does nerdy punk songs (haven't recorded anything yet but a single demo). I'm a pretty damn good cook and I shoehorned my love of cooking into my website by writing a blog about cooking for game nights. I've also lost about 90 lbs at this point on my diet. I suck at video games, but still love playing them from time to time with friends. However, my passion is tabletop gaming (board games, card games, roleplaying games) and I'm a big of a figure in that industry. I'm a big fan of introducing people to something new, so I'll never say "You've never seen this show or movie?! What's wrong with you?!" but rather say, "You've never seen this show or movie?! We're having a marathon this weekend so you can see how awesome it is!!" Yes, my ties are real and not clip-ons. No, please don't pull them to test. It hurts.

The bad news: I smoke cigarettes, drink liquor, and own cats. I don't drive, have a car, or have my license. I live with my parents because I can't afford to live my life the way I want without the rent-free environment and my parents can't afford to pay all their bills without my contribution. I can be pedantic at times. I'm not a big fan of sports, but I have no problem watching them. I study stuff like physics and history because I find it interesting. Apparently, many of these are deal-breakers around here, so it's only fair I bring it up early.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a writer and gamer first and foremost (see above). I also love reading, watching movies/TV, listening to music, playing guitar, shopping, and cooking. My philosophy in life is to enjoy it as much as you can without neglecting responsibilities. Sure, I would love to spend my entire paycheck on DVDs or video games, but there's not much point if I haven't paid the power bill and there's no electricity for the TV.
I’m really good at
...pointing out the idiocy of random things. Example from a real TV commercial: "This medicine has been recalled. If you have experienced any of these symptoms: Nausea, Fever, Nosebleeds, Heart Attack, or DEATH; please contact the Law Offices of Moron and Moron" Ummm...kinda hard to use the phone if you've experienced the symptom of DEATH, isn't it? What is it, the Law Offices of John Edward?

I'm also a pretty damn good cook. Cooking centers and relaxes me. And I much prefer when I'm in a serious cooking mood to make everything from scratch. Maybe my pizza isn't perfectly round and my mashed potatoes are a little lumpy...but they taste a LOOOT better. Plus I know every single thing that went into them, and I can make little modifications to make them healthier or tastier
The first things people usually notice about me
My dark, deadpan, sarcastic sense of humor. I can make a joke out of almost anything (and usually do). If you're not sure if I'm kidding or not, ask me. I'm used to it. Also, if you're easily offended, make sure to tell me. It may or may not stop me from making a joke that will offend you, but I've matured enough that I no longer make jokes just to offend others.

Physically, it's probably that I usually try to dress nice when I go out. I feel naked if I leave the house wearing anything other than slacks and a shirt with a collar. A barbecue or something outdoors in the summer, I might - MIGHT - wear shorts. But don't hold your breath. The way I see it, my first impression in any situation is going to be "The Fat Guy". I have limited control over that (though I'm losing weight), but I can control whether I'm "The Slobbily Dressed Fat Guy" or "The Fat Guy in the Suit".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My taste in all media pretty much boils down to this: Give me fun over good. Give me Snakes on a Plane over Citizen Kane. Sure, I can watch Kane and see it's a technically amazing film, but it's as boring as watching three snails gangbang when two of them are dead. Snakes on a Plane has plot holes you could fly that goddamn jet through, but at least you'll have fun watching it. Besides, I'd rather love something or hate it than to feel nothing. Mediocrity is far worse of a sin in my eyes than spectacular failure, because at least train wrecks can be fun to watch. I prefer when fun and good meet, of course, but that is incredibly rare. This is also why Casablanca is my favorite film of all time.

I'm also very opinionated when it comes to movies/TV/music/books. If I love something, I will tell you so. And if I hate something, it's not just knee-jerk hatred. I have very specific reasons for hating something if I go through the trouble of actually hating it. That means I've at least tried to watch/read/listen to it and it's gone beyond just "this isn't for me" to the point there are very specific flaws which make it unwatchable/unreadable and in some cases has had a negative effect on the genre, medium, or society in general. And trust me, I will tell you if you ask so be warned (Twilight fans, I'm talking to "what's wrong with Twilight" rant is almost two hours long).


NOFX, Less Than Jake, Pennywise, Bad Religion, 30footFALL, Streetlight Manifesto, The Ramones, No Use For a Name, Millencolin, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Kemuri, The Birthday Massacre, Angel City Outcasts, Zeromancer, Ska Ska Club, Flogging Molly, The Vandals, The Bouncing Souls, The Suicide Machines, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Mustard Plug, Black Flag, Head Panic, The Descendants, Dethklok, Strung Out


I tend to go for movies that are fun over movies that are good. I'd rather be excited by something stupid than bored to tears by a work of art. Here's a brief list of some of my favorite films in no particular order:

Casablanca, Lord of the Rings, The Avengers and the rest of the Marvel Films offerings, Clerks, The Crow, WALL*E, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Toxic Avenger (parts I and IV), The Maltese Falcon, Zero Effect, Fight Club, The 300, Stardust, Night of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Ring (original Japanese version), Battle Royale, Shaolin Soccer, Supertroopers, Psycho (Original), Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Reservoir Dogs, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Boondock Saints, Young Frankenstein, Equilibrium, Terror Firmer, Tromeo and Juliet, Akira, Fright Night, Back to the Future, Dracula (1931 with Bela Lugosi), Frankenstein (1931 with Boris Karloff).

I like anything that's well-written and well-shot, be it romance, comedy, action, sci-fi, horror, or whatever. I'm a HUGE movie fan and love to talk about movies.


Again, fun over good: Sherlock, Community, Red Dwarf, Doctor Who, QI, Good Eats, Game of Thrones, Cosmos, Spaced, Red vs Blue (it counts as a TV show to me), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Leverage, Coupling, Cougar Town (shut up, it's funny), Black Books, Veronica Mars, Burn Notice, Mystery Science Theater 3000, True Blood, Tales from the Crypt, Iron Chef, Robot Chicken, Web Soup, South Park, Firefly, The Big Bang Theory, Legend of the Seeker. When I get into a series, I have a tendency to pull marathon viewings. Legend of the Seeker is a good example, as I got into the show after it was off the air and watched my way through both seasons in a weekend.


I grew up in a bookstore, so I've always read a lot.

COMICS: Preacher, Sandman, Transmetropolitan, Great Teacher Onizuka, Bleach, Runaways, Blue Monday, Hopeless Savages, Hellboy

MYSTERY: Almost everything by Robert B. Parker especially the Spenser series, the Stanley Hastings series by Parnell Hall, Sherlock Holmes, Raymond Chandler, and Fletch (only the first novel as the series goes downhill rather quickly)

HORROR/DARK FANTASY: The Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher, the Nightside series, everything Neil Gaiman's ever written, Carrie Vaughn's Kitty Norville series, Patricia Brigg's Mercy Thompson series, and Kim Harrison's Hollows series.

SCI-FI/FANTASY: Red Dwarf, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the rest of the series, The Alera Codex series by Jim Butcher, Starship Troopers, the Shadowrun RPG series, Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, Neuromancer, Dies the Fire and that entire series

OTHER: Battle Royale, the Bourne series (The Bourne Identity, etc.), Fight Club, Everything I Know About Filmmaking I Learned from The Toxic Avenger, Make Your Own Damn Movie, lots and lots of other filmmaking books. Also love reading about the supernatural and occult, urban legends and myths, etc.


Tabletop: Dungeons & Dragons, Shadowrun, Castle Panic, Settlers of Catan, Munchkin, Pandemic, Gloom, Cards Against Humanity, Ticket to Ride, Smallworld, Fluxx, Tsuro, BattleTech
Video: HALO series, Arkham Asylum, Borderlands, Rock Band

...did I ever say I wasn't a massive geek? If you didn't figure that out by now, I'm sorry.
The six things I could never do without
Books, movies, music, air, water, food. Yes, I got the order right.
I spend a lot of time thinking about mind's generally going at around Mach 4 and I've generally got some random thought or another floating around up there. That's why most of my favorite leisure activities are things that cause me to turn my brain off.

If I'm reading, I'm picturing what's going on in the story (complete with camera angles, which I've been told is weird). If I'm playing guitar, I'm worried about what the next chord is. If I'm playing a video game, I'm trying to figure out where that damn sniper's hiding or whether I'm on the first or second verse of the song on Rock Band. If I'm cooking, I'm wondering if the chicken's done all the way through or if my dough's risen to twice its size yet or whether basil will go well with ground lamb.

Because my mind's focused on all of those, it has no time to wander off and think about all the other insane stuff that rattles through my brain all day long.

Something else I think about a lot when on here are the match questions and how some people answer...

1) The sun is bigger than the earth by a factor of 1.3 million times.

2) "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" is Juliet lamenting that Romeo is a Montague, her family's sworn enemy. That's why the line following shortly after is "Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?" She's asking WHY he (the man she fell in "love" with) is Romeo Montague and questioning whether she'd still love him if he were someone else.

3) A mile is longer than a kilometer. That's why the KPH number on your speedometer is higher than the MPH, because you travel more kilometers than miles because they're shorter.

4) Leaving out whether or not it's true or accurate, astrology is not a legitimate science because it does not produce testable hypotheses.

5) The day before the day after yesterday is "yesterday". The "day after yesterday" is today, and the day before that is yesterday.

For those who don't know, the reason these questions exist is so intellectual or knowledgeable people can quickly figure out if a potential match is themselves intelligent or knowledgeable. If you don't want to come off immediately as an idiot, PLEASE check your answers to these questions. Now back to talking about me...
On a typical Friday night I am
Game night. I go to a coffee shop with friends and play board games. Technically, it's research for my column...but I'd be doing it even without the job.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm honest to a fault. "But honesty is NEVER a fault!" I hear you say. I respond with my first instinct in every situation is to tell the truth and if I'm not actively trying to lie, it will come out before I have any control over it. Say you're at the 7-11 and you're buying a gallon of milk, the Sunday paper, a cup of coffee, a breakfast sammich, and a box of cat food. You notice that the clerk forgot to ring up your cat food. Do you open your mouth and say something, or do you shut up and get free cat food? I don't get to make that choice because by the time I realize I can get free food, I've already asked the clerk "Hey, did you get the cat food?" That actually happened to me. "But how is that bad?" you ask. Well, keep that in mind if you ask me if your ass looks big in those jeans or what I think of the painting/story you just did. Because I'll tell you the truth before I can stop myself.

I'm far more shallow than I wish I were, but it has absolutely nothing to do with appearance or wealth. It has to do with intelligence, education, attitude, and taste. I judge people far too often and sometimes too harshly because they like TV, movies, or books that I feel are complete crap. Despite what I said earlier about ignorance, I still sometimes mistake simple ignorance for stupidity (which I define as "willful ignorance", or basically not knowing something and refusing to learn about it when given the opportunity).

Something I've worked very hard on is not being confrontational when arguing factual points because I've been made to feel like an idiot before after fact-checking myself and finding out I misremembered/misinterpreted something I read or just flat out reasoned something out incorrectly. It took me a long time to realize that sort of combative behavior was what annoyed if not outright angered me about a lot of people, while I myself was doing the exact same thing.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you're as easily bored and/or as easily amused as I am.

If you know when the narwhal bacons.

If you have - or at least appreciate - a weird, dark, deadpan, and sarcastic sense of humor (and if you made it this far, you probably do).

If you're a half-decent-but-not-amazing HALO or Borderlands player. I love playing co-op FPS games, but I don't want my suckiness to drag someone else down.

If you like going into way too much detail discussing comic books, movies, TV shows, or novels to the point that you can ignore the fact that Superman is an alien who can fly, but still pull out physics equations to prove that Lois Lane would have died five hundred times minimum while being "rescued".

Do NOT message me if you're a racist, a religious bigot, didn't bother reading my profile, didn't pay attention in science class (see my above ranting about match questions), and especially if you didn't read my profile. Yes, it's long. But I tried to make it at the very least amusing. If you did NOT read my profile, you're probably going to miss a major dealbreaker or two.

If you meet some of these qualifications, I am looking for the following:

- New friends: I moved back home and haven't had much of a chance to expand my social circle beyond my friends from high school/college and my local gaming group.

- A relationship: I'm not really looking anymore because I've resigned myself to the fact there every woman I find interesting and attractive isn't interested/attracted to me, every woman who finds me interesting and attractive doesn't interest/attract me, and the few where the interest and attraction are mutual are involved in a relationship with someone else or there are major circumstantial roadblocks in the way of any relationship now or in the future. If a relationship falls into my lap, I'm sure not going to complain. I've just stopped trying to find one.

- Creative partners: I'm working on several projects I'm hoping to turn into at least financially self-sustaining hobbies if not actual businesses. I'd love to meet people with similar media tastes as mine to help me with these projects, be it as actors, writing partners, editors, or just a sounding board for ideas. This is even more true if you love horror movies and can act, as that particular project requires a second person to be in front of the camera.