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38 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 14
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Banking / Finance
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly), Sign Language (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Most days, I'm a creator, an instigator, a catalyst, and an actor.
I love the convergence of seemingly disparate or contrary ideas.
I want both. I build complexity and I adore simplicity.
What I’m doing with my life
Besides trying to get the word "Friendzone" to catch on as a pejorative meaning misogynist asshat?
(Go here right now! It's soooo good!! )

Recently thinking our society needs more anti-capitalistic Patriarchy-disemboweling post-anarchist rhizomatic eco-sex cults.

Realizing I'm more of a deleuzian foucaultdian in bed.

Projects for 2014 - I'm working with my favorite local theater company on a piece connected to a literary classic. Haven't read it since high school. And working with a less local company on a one-person-show with a some of my favorite collaborators. Super excited to have both projects going on.

I co-organize a discussion group / networked community that focuses on non-traditional relationships, non-monogamy, and intentional relationships. We get together monthly for discussions and additional related events like lectures and workshops. It's one of the most rewarding things I've helped create in my life. And it consumes a lot of my creativity, energy, time, ... and I LOVE it.

I kinda love building collaborative projects with other badass weirdos. My friends and I are putting together a neighborhood bar for Critical Massive again this summer. Craft cocktails, home brews, CAN'T WAIT.

I love music, but I hardly ever go out to see live shows. Maybe because I usually see theater? Maybe because I have no idea who I should go see? Got a suggestion?

I'm relatively certain that I have the most amazing friends ever in the entire history of ever. I'm absolutely serious. They're actually the best. I'm trying to make more time to spend with them too. And they're super fun/creative/brilliant/hot/weird/thoughtful, so maybe you should join me sometime?

2013 decidedly behind. And good riddance. I'm looking ambitiously towards the year ahead, looking forward to more events, making connections, and stretching towards things that make life super-awesome. More art, more planned or spontaneous adventures, more saying "yes!" when others invite me, more music making, more reading, and more seeking.

and ... you know ... stuff.

I'll take this moment to make clear:
I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. In the parlance of our time, my dance card is pretty full these days. I'm looking to make new connections - amazing fantastic people from outside my existing social circles.
Whatever develops from there will be what it will be.
I’m really good at
Finding really good, really amazing people. I'm sure it's connected to luck and privilege, but it's also remarkable to me that the quality of person that I find myself drawn to is genuinely amazing. I certainly don't mean that the people I surround myself with are infallible - quite the contrary. I mean that the people that I keep in my life set a pretty high bar.

Parsing thoughts and articulating complicated ideas. Communication is a skill that I prize. I love being able to communicate complicated or difficult ideas with clarity - be it challenging because of its emotional complexity, or complicated because of its structure.

Acting. It's a thing I love to do. It's a thing I've learned a lot about. It's a thing I've trained in for years. And it's a thing I'm pretty damn good at.

Laughing. Easily my most apparent and commonly used super-power. It's huge, contagious, transformative, and not something I can control.

Being inappropriately loud in mildly embarrassing ways (see "laughing")

Relationships. I think about them and work on them almost all the time. We build relationships in every aspect of our life - work relationships, family relationships, friend relationships. I generally focus my work on my loving relationships and my sexual relationships.

Sex-positivity. It's a passion.

Gnawing on the power structures that support systems of inequality, injustice and privilege. I'm not a "blow the whole thing apart and start over" kind of person, but I'm also not at all happy with the ways we're doing it wrong.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is my least favorite question. I'm just horrible at it.

Movies --- I like movies! I like lots and lots of movies. I like nerdy scifi. I like sappy romantic comedies. I like historic dramas and action/adventure and fantasy adventure and tons of anime and mysteries and heist movies and gangster movies and ... I mean, HOW IS THIS HELPFUL??

I don't watch much tv, so maybe that's more helpful? I watch Family Guy, Supernatural, Archer, Daily Show, Colbert Report, and some Adult Swim cartoons. Venture Bros and Lucy Daughter Of The Devil are both old favorites.

Books & Music: see "Movies" above.

Food: I like to cook. And I like to go out. I'd have a hard time getting through life without pizza or without sushi. I'll try just about anything once.
The six things I could never do without
Friends - Does that count as one? Or do they each count individually? All I'm saying is that I can't get through without them. I recently realized that almost all of the major turning points in my life hinged on a choice to build connection. That makes it hard for me to believe that I could be happy without community.

Music - It's in my head when i wake up. It sometimes is all I need to dramatically change my mood, or to reach into emotional places that are too raw to find on my own.

Sex - One of the most fantastic things we can DO in these meat-suits. So many variations! Limited only by imagination. Shaped purely by our desire. And it's almost as universal as food.

Stories - A good story transcends the individual and resonates across human experience. The best stories reach across time and culture.

Food is a bit too general, so I'll try to be more specific: fresh baked bread, cheese, and salt. I suppose I couldn't survive on those three by themselves. But I don't think I could give them up.

Learning - It doesn't have to be intellectual or skill based. I just need to be absorbing, stretching, growing, pushing.

Laughter - There's just no way I could leave it behind.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I don't just mean thinking about having sex. Sure, I think about that a lot too. Who doesn't?

I mean thinking about sex: about gender and about sexual identity, about our how our politics and laws and media and social power structures intersect with things that many (probably most) of us do in a relative privacy. I think about our ideas of what is natural versus unnatural, what it normal versus perverse, what is casual versus intimate, and about how so many of us use the same words to describe profoundly different behaviors. I think about how our ethics and morality are inextricably braided into our desires and our relationships.

Sex is something we all have in common with almost every other person, regardless of their demographic. Sure, there are exceptions. But by and large, everyone has some kind of notable sexuality, even if it's a rejection of sexuality. And that kind of universality is fantastically potent.

Also: I'm a non-monogamous person. At the moment, I'm dating two absolutely amazing partners. And for all of this to work, we all put a bunch of extra time and energy into thinking about and talking about sex.

So, yeah: I think about sex. A lot.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 19–44
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Does it look like we might have some awesome times together?

Lots of stuff in common with some differences that might make for really good conversations?

You have an extra ticket to a show? You want an interesting, fun, extroverted date for that event coming up?

You want to grab a drink after work today and chat up someone new?

You're interested in the stuff that I spend a LOT of time thinking about?

If you're in ANY way interested in the discussion group that I co-organize, I'd LOVE to hear from you. Totally outside of potential dating, outside of your relationship status, your gender and your sexual preferences, I'm ALWAYS interested in talking to folks about this discussion group and it's related events.